Thursday, October 16, 2008


Samuel Langhorn Clemens, aka Mark Twain said that “the worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself” and yet he suffered from massive insecurities of loneliness. As a premature child who was not supposed to live, he carried a huge burden within his heart. Forever trying to seek love of his parents, he did not really find in himself the love that he sought.

“The love of oneself is the start of a lifelong romance” said Oscar Wilde and yet he too looked for love in the arms of young men!!

Both …masters of prose and poetry offered the world a cure for loneliness and yet searched for fulfillment.

What really is loneliness, if not just a state of mind?

One can be extremely lonely in a crowd or be completely surrounded by thoughts in solitude. All of us have experienced both. Which is better? Being a line looking for an end or becoming a circle and finding the end?

As I sat to write about loneliness at the behest of my friend, I wondered what view I should take. The sadistic, masochist view where I delve into the pain of loneliness or the optimistic view where I look at loneliness as an opportunity to find my inner self?

Being a believer of positivity and happiness, I guess the answer was easy.

Our life is a self created matrix. The only question is which pill are we going to choose. The blue pill or the red pill? Is ignorance bliss or is the truth worth knowing… matter what! “Truth shall set you free” says the bible. So let’s search for truth.

Philosophically; the existentialist school of thought views loneliness as the essence of being human. Each human being comes into the world alone, travels through life as a separate person, and ultimately dies alone.
However, other existentialist thinkers argue the opposite. Human beings are be said to actively "engage" each other and feel the futility of existence if they are unable to communicate, love and procreate.

The debate continues !!!

So should we look for fulfillment outside of us or within ourselves? Both are acceptable, but I think the latter is easier. For the former we need another individual who will accept us in our entirety and that we know is a tad difficult. Acceptance and agreement lead to company and debate and disagreement lead to loneliness.

The more individualistic we are, higher the chances of being lonely. This may or not be bad though, after all we do think as individuals and do not have a collective brain, so why are we constantly looking for acceptance and agreement? Does it all stem from inherent insecurities in ourselves?

The first step to overcoming loneliness is to accept it as something natural and yet ephemeral . It is a state of mind and  our state of mind is our choice and the only thing we have control over. Nothing worse than being a prisoner of your own mind and not even knowing that we are prisoners and therefore not having the urge to escape. Instead of calling it loneliness we can choose to call it solitude.

Solitude is a choice when loneliness is a circumstance. Just by changing the vocabulary, we have changed our thinking. Maybe a positive self image is the key to overcoming loneliness. Instead of running out and looking for company, it may be a better idea to become our own best friend. We could start by indulging in some mental reprogramming via positive self talk and affirmations.

I read somewhere that  “ Be the person that walks into the room and the room lights up and not the person that walks out of the room and the room lights up”.

Once we are comfortable in our own company, we will automatically become the life of a party and loneliness will be a term we need to look up in a dictionary.


Que sera sera!!

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

As a young girl of 11 or 12, I remember looking at my palm for lines of health; wealth and happiness. I would turn my palm and wrist in every possible way to look at the lines. I never knew which denoted what? Would I have health, wealth and happiness? I used to stare at my hand and wonder what my future would be. When I asked my mother, all she said was…concentrate on your studies and make something of yourself. She never told me what I could have or be.

A few years went by; I turned 16 and fell in love…..

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

I saw rainbows day after day and life seemed beautiful and full. Young love was so beautiful but the societal norms were not…..Unfortunately the love didn’t last. By the time I was 17, I think the rainbows disappeared. I went back to staring at my palm and wondering if ever my true love will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Your future will be what you want it to be!

Now I’m a mother and my daughter asks me if she will be pretty, will she be famous and will she find her prince? And what do I say? Of course darling you will. Am I misleading her? Maybe I am; maybe I’m not!

My mother may have told me only what she knew and what she was made to believe. She and her parents had no idea that it could have been possible to have it all. The lines on my hands may have been the only answer to my future.

Today, I know for a fact that (Quantum Physics)- nothing is fixed and there are no limitations. Limitations are only in our observation. Everything is energy and energy is influenced by our thoughts. It is shapeable, formable, and moldable. As Creators, we shape, form and mold the energy of the Universe through our thoughts. We transform the energy of our thoughts into the energy of our reality.

The recent success of the book and movie “Secret” was based on the Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction states that we attract in our lives whatever we focus on. Quantum Physics states that which is observed is the only thing real.

Let’s do an experiment, right now focus on the color red. Now look around you and see if you can find the color red. You probably will find it.... that is because you are looking for it. Your observation makes it real for you. It was probably always there but till you looked for it you did not attract it into your focus. The moment your attention was focused on looking for the color red, it became your reality.

Since nothing is fixed and everything is in a state of potential, everything is possible. As we understand that everything is possible, and as we focus our thoughts on what we want to attract, we can literally call into existence whatever we desire. Your desire for the red color will have brought the red color into focus. If we focus on lack, that will be our reality and if we focus on abundance, that will be our reality. So instead of looking at my palm for the lines of health wealth and happiness, all I had to do was to see myself in perfect health, doing my dream job and earning lots of wealth and being happy with the love of my life. But no one told me about it and I went through a life of uncertainty and struggle where my palm was my companion in my direction to my future.
Now that I know that my thoughts are creating my reality I am in a position to mold my thoughts and create my future.

So when my daughter asks me….mummy will I be rich, will I be pretty? I can say to her…the future is ours to create, so what you create will be, will be.. que sera sera.


Monday, October 13, 2008


"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
---- FDR - First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933

Fear feeds on itself, it grows like Bacteria. Bacteria reproduce every twenty seconds if their living conditions are optimal. They make copies of their DNA and then divide in half through a process called Mitosis.

In optimal conditions fear undergoes mitosis and spreads like an epidemic. Today’s environment is extremely optimal for fear mitosis. Fear can be seen at every turn — in headlines raising questions about another Great Depression, amongst crowds gathered around Bloomberg and CNN. Even young children are talking about the crash of the financial markets. I even heard a 12 year old talking about foreclosure and panic selling.

There is no question that the current environment is somewhat of a worrisome time, but by constantly worrying about it we are only ensuring its longevity. Fear is an immensely powerful force, says Andrew W. Lo, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology .Scientists who have studied the brain function have found that the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls fear, responds faster than the parts of the brain that handle cognitive functions. The moment we come in contact with fear, our brain goes into over drive and starts to prepare the body for flight or fight response. Fear paralysis us from making sensible decisions and eventually creates the circumstances that turn our fear into reality. Wordswort very aptly said that “What are fears but voices airy? Whispering harm where harm is not. And deluding the unwary. Till the fatal bolt is shot!"

Are we not going to rest till the fatal bolt is shot? If we don’t stop the panic, we will only add to the negative vibration of fear and unrest. Fear causes stress and stress as we all know leads to various ailments.

I just got off the phone from a banker friend of mine and she is extremely depressed and worried. She was trying to portray a brave front, but the despondency in her voice was palpable.
Worry and fear will not change the outcome for the better; it will however perpetuate more fear and unease. If you really want the circumstances to change, start focusing on change for the better. As Mike Dooly says “thoughts become things….choose the good ones”. Quantum physics is now proving that our thoughts carry vibrations and those vibrations cause results. Fear vibrates at a lower frequency and thereby attracts other lower frequency vibrations such as anger and hatred and causes dis-ease, pain and accidents.

Love on the other hand and I don’t mean just romantic love…carries higher vibrations and therefore attracts other higher frequency vibrations such as happiness, positivity, and acceptance and gives us the courage to face perceived unfavorable circumstances.

All we need to do is focus on love; it could be love of nature, love for your child, love of a hobby, romantic love, love of a pet…. Anything you can think of. This will then raise your vibrations and start changing the energy fields around you and start to change your circumstances. I know it sounds a bit too simplistic and new age, but staying in fear and perpetuating that fear will surely not help, so may as well try to bring ourselves up by getting out of fear and into love.

I read somewhere that Fear is “false evidence appearing real”. Yes the worlds money markets are crashing, but will our being stressed and fearful change the outcome? Will our fear bring money to us? It may propel us to take our money out of banks and put it under our mattress! But it surely won’t solve the market problems.

At an individual level, all you can do is to relax and focus on the positive and not add to the frenzy. If each person was to do their bit, surely the whole would see the change.
As Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change that you want to see”.

Right now, focus on what you love and attract more of that into your life. Your dominant thought becomes your reality.