Friday, September 17, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Church of Open Mind
Saturday night a very dear friend invited me for drinks. This particular friend is a woman of great substance and has done extremely well, spiritually; financially and intellectually. She had invited a few friends and each one was pretty much on top of their game, but not without their fair share of pain, sadness and desires.
The conversation that ensued the wine took an interesting turn and veered towards religion, logic, dogma and fanaticism. The question that came about was, why do highly intelligent; highly analytical people who question everything and anything in life take 2000 year old religious teachings at face value? These are the same people who will turn everything and question it and try and come to cognitive conclusions, but when it comes to faith they follow blindly what has been laid down .
We no more question the geometry of earth. For the longest time it was believed that the earth was flat and now the whole idea seems ludicrous. No one thought that we could fly in air and now we fly at supersonic speeds and of course how can we deny the internet that has opened our minds to inconceivable ideas. Then why are we still stuck in the religious relics? Why do people still try and convince each other to conform to their religious ideologies? Why do they denigrate another’s faith and try and impose their own on the others. Why do some people follow blindly the traditions and teachings that were laid down thousands of years ago?
Rather interesting questions, but very dangerous when combined with alcohol and testosterone.
As is rightly said, never combine alcohol with a discussion about religion and politics. Fortunately the conversation did not reach a point of no return. In fact it ended in a very civilized manner talking about acceptance of interfaith and being open minded about faith.
I guess this was because each one of us was coming a place of acceptance and although we could have all indulged in intellectual masturbation and put forth our points of view we decided to let go and enjoy the wine instead.
However when I got home and started thinking about the questions, it did dawn on me that we are all extremely tightly married to our idea of religion and GOD. We often believe in the superiority of one GOD over another and try and impose our faith and beliefs on another. After all there is power in numbers and the more people who think like me the better!
Isn’t that strange that we go out shopping for shoes and try many pairs before deciding which one, but when it comes to faith we allow ourselves to be swayed by others .
One size does not fit all so why not try what works for you. 6.5 billion People in this world. Can you imagine the confusion and ridiculousness if all looked the same, ate the same, spoke the same and wore the same, so why do we become so parochial when someone from another faith shares his or her beliefs with us.
Any faith that makes you happy and brings joy to you and to the people around you is a faith you should follow. Be it Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Shiva, Nanak, Buddha, Amun, Ra, Zeus, Aphrodite, Apollo, Sun, Moon, water, etc.
How does it matter who or what you believe in if it makes you a better person. (I know that the definition of a better person stands to debate, but I shall, leave that for another time)
There is no denying that the basis of religion is love and compassion, but what happens to the love and compassion when someone disagrees with another’s faith. The very people who preach unconditional love and acceptance pick up arms and get ready to kill and we conveniently call it faith killing. What gives anyone the right?
I just spoke to friend on the phone and discussed with him the idea of a church of open mind and he very rightly pointed out that people who want you to follow their faith are doing it out of love for you. Because they have been saved by their particular faith they want you to partake in that joy and happiness. In a way it is an expression of their love for you and by denying their advances you are rejecting their love.
He is probably right. Is it not true that when we experience something wonderful we feel like sharing it with our loved ones? I remember having had an amazing dessert in a restaurant and insisted on ordering the same for my husband, but sadly he is not a chocolate fan and he did not find it as mouth watering, finger licking good as I had painted it to be. Of course I got offended! How could he not love what I thought was the best dessert in the world? He preferred an apple turnover over warm chocolate melted cake. Just the thought of the cake is enough to take me to orgasmic delight, but here he was rejecting it completely and preferring the apple turnover.
Did I kill him over his choice of dessert?
Much as I would have liked to (for other reasons than the desert ;-) ) I did not and he lives to tell.
Then why do we always expect the other person to love the same GOD/faith? Isn’t life wonderful because of the diversity in all its color and richness?
If something or someone works for you go after it, share it, talk about it but be open minded enough that they may prefer something else. Just because they have a different call connection does not mean they cannot dial GOD directly. Imagine the confusion at GOD’s home if there was only one number to call. We would be put on hold for ever.
Find you direct connection with GOD and follow your own heart. Seek help if and when it is offered.
At times we are to weak and vulnerable to really find the strength, so if friends and well wishers are offering you their way of salvation, accept it , but then really go within yourself to find the answers you seek . The answer lies within and all you need to do is listen to it in silence.
Luv/luck/Happiness
The conversation that ensued the wine took an interesting turn and veered towards religion, logic, dogma and fanaticism. The question that came about was, why do highly intelligent; highly analytical people who question everything and anything in life take 2000 year old religious teachings at face value? These are the same people who will turn everything and question it and try and come to cognitive conclusions, but when it comes to faith they follow blindly what has been laid down .
We no more question the geometry of earth. For the longest time it was believed that the earth was flat and now the whole idea seems ludicrous. No one thought that we could fly in air and now we fly at supersonic speeds and of course how can we deny the internet that has opened our minds to inconceivable ideas. Then why are we still stuck in the religious relics? Why do people still try and convince each other to conform to their religious ideologies? Why do they denigrate another’s faith and try and impose their own on the others. Why do some people follow blindly the traditions and teachings that were laid down thousands of years ago?
Rather interesting questions, but very dangerous when combined with alcohol and testosterone.
As is rightly said, never combine alcohol with a discussion about religion and politics. Fortunately the conversation did not reach a point of no return. In fact it ended in a very civilized manner talking about acceptance of interfaith and being open minded about faith.
I guess this was because each one of us was coming a place of acceptance and although we could have all indulged in intellectual masturbation and put forth our points of view we decided to let go and enjoy the wine instead.
However when I got home and started thinking about the questions, it did dawn on me that we are all extremely tightly married to our idea of religion and GOD. We often believe in the superiority of one GOD over another and try and impose our faith and beliefs on another. After all there is power in numbers and the more people who think like me the better!
Isn’t that strange that we go out shopping for shoes and try many pairs before deciding which one, but when it comes to faith we allow ourselves to be swayed by others .
One size does not fit all so why not try what works for you. 6.5 billion People in this world. Can you imagine the confusion and ridiculousness if all looked the same, ate the same, spoke the same and wore the same, so why do we become so parochial when someone from another faith shares his or her beliefs with us.
Any faith that makes you happy and brings joy to you and to the people around you is a faith you should follow. Be it Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Shiva, Nanak, Buddha, Amun, Ra, Zeus, Aphrodite, Apollo, Sun, Moon, water, etc.
How does it matter who or what you believe in if it makes you a better person. (I know that the definition of a better person stands to debate, but I shall, leave that for another time)
There is no denying that the basis of religion is love and compassion, but what happens to the love and compassion when someone disagrees with another’s faith. The very people who preach unconditional love and acceptance pick up arms and get ready to kill and we conveniently call it faith killing. What gives anyone the right?
I just spoke to friend on the phone and discussed with him the idea of a church of open mind and he very rightly pointed out that people who want you to follow their faith are doing it out of love for you. Because they have been saved by their particular faith they want you to partake in that joy and happiness. In a way it is an expression of their love for you and by denying their advances you are rejecting their love.
He is probably right. Is it not true that when we experience something wonderful we feel like sharing it with our loved ones? I remember having had an amazing dessert in a restaurant and insisted on ordering the same for my husband, but sadly he is not a chocolate fan and he did not find it as mouth watering, finger licking good as I had painted it to be. Of course I got offended! How could he not love what I thought was the best dessert in the world? He preferred an apple turnover over warm chocolate melted cake. Just the thought of the cake is enough to take me to orgasmic delight, but here he was rejecting it completely and preferring the apple turnover.
Did I kill him over his choice of dessert?
Much as I would have liked to (for other reasons than the desert ;-) ) I did not and he lives to tell.
Then why do we always expect the other person to love the same GOD/faith? Isn’t life wonderful because of the diversity in all its color and richness?
If something or someone works for you go after it, share it, talk about it but be open minded enough that they may prefer something else. Just because they have a different call connection does not mean they cannot dial GOD directly. Imagine the confusion at GOD’s home if there was only one number to call. We would be put on hold for ever.
Find you direct connection with GOD and follow your own heart. Seek help if and when it is offered.
At times we are to weak and vulnerable to really find the strength, so if friends and well wishers are offering you their way of salvation, accept it , but then really go within yourself to find the answers you seek . The answer lies within and all you need to do is listen to it in silence.
Luv/luck/Happiness
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
It’s OK to be SAD!
About two years ago I was given a book titled “Happy for no reason” by Marci Shimoff. It went on to become a best seller and sold over 25 million copies. Happiness has become a rather serious subject and I must admit that I too have joined the bandwagon of happiness researchers and am a huge proponent of Positive Psychology (the legitimate child of positive thinking). I have been researching, practicing and preaching happiness for the last 5 years and have looked into pretty much every aspect of positivity and happiness. Having delved into the psychological, the spiritual, the philosophical, the scientific and the inexplicable new age theories, I thought I had covered every aspect of “Happiness”.
But yesterday try as I might I could not feel happy, and then I realized that this was not the first time I was experiencing such emotions.
I thought to myself could I be Sad for no reason?
I woke up feeling rather down. I felt that I was wasting my life and not really striving hard enough to reach my not yet defined goals! I felt like a failure and wondered if I would ever follow through on my desires and commitments. I wondered if I was all talk and no action and one negative thought led to another.
I started to question my role as a mother and a wife. I started looking for reasons that made me feel that I was not being a good wife or a good mother and then of course I started to wonder if it was my husband who was in the wrong. All possible explanations and justifications started to hone into my psyche.
Next I knew, I was crying and missing my deceased parents and lamenting over lost loves and lost opportunities. This was getting pretty serious.
All my years of search for happiness had come to naught.
I don’t know what inspired me to do what I did, but it seemed to have worked wonders. I shared my sad status on face book and within a few minutes there were amazing messages sending me hugs, smiles, love and encouraging me and complimenting me on my achievements. I suddenly started to feel better and felt loved and appreciated. Many shared their own experiences and made me realize that it was OK to be Sad. After all I was human and well within the confines of sanity.
All at once I was being reminded of all the things that I had been suggesting for the past few years on how to get out of a funk and pull oneself out of sadness. Although I had no major underlying cause to make me sad, I was still feeling pretty miserable. I somehow could not bring myself to practice what I had been preaching.
This was a huge reality check. Here I was with no major issues and still feeling sorry for myself. What if there really was a major reason for my sadness; such as hearing about a life threatening illness, losing a loved one, being fired from a job and having kids to feed, and so on… …Would positive thinking still help?
I seriously doubt that thinking and denying the reality of a painful situation would make the problem go away.
So, what is one to do?
Should we keep going down the abyss of sadness and pain and allow it to expand or try and nip it in the bud? Should we go into denial and paint a rosy picture and refuse to face reality?
I could not come up with an answer, so I decided to go for a walk instead.
I picked up my iPod, put on my headphones, turned the volume really loud and started to walk. About 15 minutes later I was feeling a bit clear headed. Then I saw a group of gardeners beautifying a roundabout. They were diligently de-weeding the garden. I stood there watching. I saw them take out the weeds, prune the flowers, put in the fertilizer and move on to the next patch. What was interesting was that the maximum time was spent de weeding! Apparently, gardening is five percent planting; 10 percent watering, fertilizing and pruning; and 75 percent fighting weeds.
Isn’t that interesting?
Even nature needs help to sustain its beauty and perfection. If allowed to run rampant weeds would take over and we would not see the wonderful flowers bloom.
There was my answer.
Of course, one cannot deny the existence of sad events. Things will go wrong from time to time. Life is not a bed of roses; it comes with its thorns and weeds. Just as a beautiful rose is accompanied by spiky thorns, life comes forth with its ups and downs.
Just as a gardener spends 75 percent of his/her time de –weeding, it becomes our responsibility to de-weed and prune the garden of our thoughts.
So getting back to my original question; Is it OK to be Sad?
Of course it is OK to be sad; we would not be human if we did not experience the rainbow of emotions. What is not OK is to allow the sad/negative thoughts to run amok and take over our lives. Often we keep over analyzing a situation instead of accepting and then facing it with courage and determination.
Sadness just like happiness is a part of our reality and will appear from time to time. What we need to be aware of is how to keep it in check and how to de-weed it from our thoughts?
So de-weed your mental garden often.
A few suggestions that worked for me
Share your sadness and be ready to take help if offered….. ( thank you facebook and Myspace)
Indulge in some sort of Physical activity preferably something you enjoy.
Listen to your favorite music….
Get a foot or a head massage, better if you can use some uplifting aroma oil
Start writing or thinking of all the wonderful things that are still around. Force yourself to come up with at least 3….
Go on a rampage of appreciation. Start listing everything that is going well in your life……
If you have children, play with them….
Go to your wardrobe and pick out something that makes you look good, wear it and admire yourself in the mirror….
Get a hair style change…..
Drink lots of water and eat a banana….
Go on feel sad, but remember to not stay sad for too long, lest the de-weeding becomes too hard.
Luv/luck/Happiness
Shveita Sethi Sharma.
But yesterday try as I might I could not feel happy, and then I realized that this was not the first time I was experiencing such emotions.
I thought to myself could I be Sad for no reason?
I woke up feeling rather down. I felt that I was wasting my life and not really striving hard enough to reach my not yet defined goals! I felt like a failure and wondered if I would ever follow through on my desires and commitments. I wondered if I was all talk and no action and one negative thought led to another.
I started to question my role as a mother and a wife. I started looking for reasons that made me feel that I was not being a good wife or a good mother and then of course I started to wonder if it was my husband who was in the wrong. All possible explanations and justifications started to hone into my psyche.
Next I knew, I was crying and missing my deceased parents and lamenting over lost loves and lost opportunities. This was getting pretty serious.
All my years of search for happiness had come to naught.
I don’t know what inspired me to do what I did, but it seemed to have worked wonders. I shared my sad status on face book and within a few minutes there were amazing messages sending me hugs, smiles, love and encouraging me and complimenting me on my achievements. I suddenly started to feel better and felt loved and appreciated. Many shared their own experiences and made me realize that it was OK to be Sad. After all I was human and well within the confines of sanity.
All at once I was being reminded of all the things that I had been suggesting for the past few years on how to get out of a funk and pull oneself out of sadness. Although I had no major underlying cause to make me sad, I was still feeling pretty miserable. I somehow could not bring myself to practice what I had been preaching.
This was a huge reality check. Here I was with no major issues and still feeling sorry for myself. What if there really was a major reason for my sadness; such as hearing about a life threatening illness, losing a loved one, being fired from a job and having kids to feed, and so on… …Would positive thinking still help?
I seriously doubt that thinking and denying the reality of a painful situation would make the problem go away.
So, what is one to do?
Should we keep going down the abyss of sadness and pain and allow it to expand or try and nip it in the bud? Should we go into denial and paint a rosy picture and refuse to face reality?
I could not come up with an answer, so I decided to go for a walk instead.
I picked up my iPod, put on my headphones, turned the volume really loud and started to walk. About 15 minutes later I was feeling a bit clear headed. Then I saw a group of gardeners beautifying a roundabout. They were diligently de-weeding the garden. I stood there watching. I saw them take out the weeds, prune the flowers, put in the fertilizer and move on to the next patch. What was interesting was that the maximum time was spent de weeding! Apparently, gardening is five percent planting; 10 percent watering, fertilizing and pruning; and 75 percent fighting weeds.
Isn’t that interesting?
Even nature needs help to sustain its beauty and perfection. If allowed to run rampant weeds would take over and we would not see the wonderful flowers bloom.
There was my answer.
Of course, one cannot deny the existence of sad events. Things will go wrong from time to time. Life is not a bed of roses; it comes with its thorns and weeds. Just as a beautiful rose is accompanied by spiky thorns, life comes forth with its ups and downs.
Just as a gardener spends 75 percent of his/her time de –weeding, it becomes our responsibility to de-weed and prune the garden of our thoughts.
So getting back to my original question; Is it OK to be Sad?
Of course it is OK to be sad; we would not be human if we did not experience the rainbow of emotions. What is not OK is to allow the sad/negative thoughts to run amok and take over our lives. Often we keep over analyzing a situation instead of accepting and then facing it with courage and determination.
Sadness just like happiness is a part of our reality and will appear from time to time. What we need to be aware of is how to keep it in check and how to de-weed it from our thoughts?
So de-weed your mental garden often.
A few suggestions that worked for me
Share your sadness and be ready to take help if offered….. ( thank you facebook and Myspace)
Indulge in some sort of Physical activity preferably something you enjoy.
Listen to your favorite music….
Get a foot or a head massage, better if you can use some uplifting aroma oil
Start writing or thinking of all the wonderful things that are still around. Force yourself to come up with at least 3….
Go on a rampage of appreciation. Start listing everything that is going well in your life……
If you have children, play with them….
Go to your wardrobe and pick out something that makes you look good, wear it and admire yourself in the mirror….
Get a hair style change…..
Drink lots of water and eat a banana….
Go on feel sad, but remember to not stay sad for too long, lest the de-weeding becomes too hard.
Luv/luck/Happiness
Shveita Sethi Sharma.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
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