Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Celistine Insights

The Coincidences That Shape Our Lives

The First Insight is the insight of awakening. We look out on our lives and realize that more is occurring than we thought. Beyond our everyday routines and challenges we can detect the mysterious influence of the divine: "meaningful coincidences" that seem to be sending us messages and leading us in a particular direction. At first we only glimpse these coincidences as we race by, hardly paying attention. But eventually we begin to slow down and to look more closely at these events. Open and alert, we are more able to detect the next synchronistic event. Coincidences seem to ebb and flow, sometimes rushing forward in quick succession, other times leaving us becalmed. Yet we know that we have discovered the soul process that guides our lives forward. The remaining Insights clarify how to increase the frequency of this mysterious synchronicity and discover the ultimate destiny toward which we are being led.

Using the 1st Insight and Increasing Its Benefit
Be aware that your life has a purpose, and events happen for a reason.

Begin the process of finding meaning behind each life event.

Acknowledge restless energy as a sign of needed change and deeper awareness. Listen to your body.

Realize that what you pay attention to will expand.

Notice when you feel a signal to talk with someone who might be able to help with your current questions. Where does your attention go? What did you notice today?

Trust your process. Live by letting yourself be guided, not by a forced set of goals. Know that you are fulfilling your life's destiny.

Start a personal journal for recording synchronistic events. Writing in a journal is a good way to clarify your thoughts.



INSIGHT 2: The Longer Now:
Expanding the Historical Context

The Second Insight is the awareness that our perception of mysterious life coincidences is a significant historical occurrence. After the collapse of the medieval worldview, we lost the security that came from the church's explanation of the universe. Therefore, five hundred years ago we collectively decided to focus on mastering nature, on using our science and technology to settle into the world. We set out to create a secular security to replace the spiritual one we had lost. To feel more secure, we systematically pushed away and denied the mysterious aspects of life on this planet. We crafted the illusion that we lived in a universe that was entirely explainable and predictable, and where chance events had no meaning. To maintain the illusion, we tended to deny any evidence to the contrary, to restrict scientific research into paranormal events, and to adopt an attitude of absolute skepticism. Exploring the mystical dimensions of life became almost taboo.

Gradually, however, an awakening has begun. Our awakening is nothing less than breaking free from the modern age's secular preoccupation, and opening our minds to a new, more truthful view of the world.

Using the 2nd Insight and Increasing Its Benefit
Be aware that you have chosen to live at this crucial time in history.

Ask support from your higher self to give you clear messages.

Recognize the amount of time you spend trying to control events or people.

Choose enjoyable activities. Do less out of a sense of obligation (which is different from responsibility.) Choose one activity that you are able and willing to let go of right now with a clear conscience. Having fun and creating more open time raises your energy level and increases your chances for coincidences.

Acknowledge any support you receive with gratitude.



INSIGHT 3: A Matter Of Energy

The Third Insight describes our new view of the universe as energy dynamic. As we look out on the world around us, no longer can we think of everything as composed of material substance. From the many findings of modern physics and the growing synthesis with the wisdom of the East, we are coming to know the universe as a vast field of energy, a quantum world in which all phenomena are interconnected and responsive. From the wisdom of Eastern thought, we know that we ourselves have access to this universal energy. We can project it outward with our thoughts and intentions, influencing our reality and the reality of others.

Using the 3rd Insight and Increasing Its Benefit
Spend some time in a natural setting.

Practice focusing on a tree or plant, and imagine a band of light around it.

See if you can beautify your environment in small ways.

Notice energy shifts, and practice building energy consciously at least once a day.

Practice seeing the beauty in your friends, family and coworkers.

Eat slowly and consciously savor your food to get the maximum energy form it.


INSIGHT 4: The Struggle For Power

The Fourth Insight is the awareness that humans have often cut themselves off from an inner connection with mystical energy. As a result, we have tended to feel weak and insecure, and we have often sought to build ourselves up by securing energy from other human beings. We do this by seeking to manipulate or dominate the other's attention. If we can force the attention of another, then we feel a boost from the other's energy, making us stronger, but leaving that person weakened. Often others fight back against the usrping of their strength, creating a power struggle. All conflict in the world stems from this battle over human energy.

Behaviors to Keep Your Energy Focused and Free
Stay present in the moment.

Be your authentic self - be real.

Pay attention to your feelings.

Listen actively - clarify what you hear.

Stay in your Adult ego state.

Focus on how you want to feel.

Tell the truth as you feel it.

Let go of attachment to only one outcome.

Let the mystery unravel.

Stay open.



INSIGHT 5: The Message of the Mystics

The Fifth Insight is the experience of inner connection with divine energy. By exploring and pursuing our divinity within, we can personally make contact with a type of experience called mystical. In our search for this altered state, we distinguish between intellectual description of this awareness and the awareness itself. In this regard, we apply certain experiential measures which indicate we are in connection with universal energy. For instance, do we experience a lightness of body? Do we feel light on our feet, bouyant? Do we experience a vividness of perception such as enhanced colors, smells, tastes, sounds, a sense of beauty? Do we experience a sense of oneness, total security? And above all, do we experience the state of awareness called love? Not toward someone or something, but as a constant background sensation in our lives. No longer do we want to just talk about mystical awareness. We have the courage to apply these measures to really seek this connection with the divine. It is this connection with total energy that resolves all conflict. We no longer need energy from others.

Gateways to Higher Consciousness

Higher consciousness is what distinguishes the mystical and is not always the result of spiritual dicipline or meditative practice. It can be triggered by being close to death, experiencing a personal drama, or even just by closing one's eyes for a moment of introsoection. Characteristics common to these states are:
seeing a dazzling light accompanied by a feeling of joy

feeling absolutely secure and loved

feeling estactic

a feeling of lightness, boyancy

understanding intuitively how the universe works

releasing all fear of death, seeing the continuum of life
As you practice direct connection to universal energy, the most important measures are background feeling of love (not connected to any one object) and contact with your interior knowing or hunches. If you are truly connected, you will feel love.

Our Changing Consciousness

The common changes that occur in the lives of those who have had mystical experiences may be summarized as:
feeling connected to a higher source

shifting interest from material accumulation

enhanced appreciation of beauty and other people

enhanced abilities, desire to learn

enhanced extrasensory abilities

sense of mission

lack of self-consciousness

ability to inspire others



INSIGHT 6: Clearing The Past:
Our Parental Lineage and Control Dramas

The Sixth Insight is the awareness of when we lose our inner connection with divine energy. Often we find that at these times we are resorting to our personal (and unconscious) way of manipulating others out of their energy. These manipulations are generally either aggressive or passive.

There are four main classifications of energy manipulations, and they operate on a continuum. Some people use more than one in different circumstances, but most of us have one dominant "control drama" that we tend to repeat, depending on which one worked well on members of our early family. Also, some people use the dramas to varying degrees, depending on how centered they are with respect to the universal energy. Each of the four control dramas creates specific energy dynamics which manifest a matching drama.

Intimidator

With the most aggressive drama, Intimidators get every one to pay attention to them by force of loudness, physical strength, threats, unexpected outbursts. The keep everyone on edge for fear of triggering off embarrassing moments, anger, and rage. Energy comes towards them because of the fear and suspicion of the "next event." Intimidators always have the stage. They make everyone feel afraid or anxious.

Basically egocentric, their behavior may range from ordering others around, talking continuously, being authoritarian, being inflexible and sarcastic, to being violent. Intimidators are probably the most cut off from universal energy. They initially engage others by creating an aura of power.

The matching drama that is created by an Intimidator is primarily the Poor Me, the most passive energy dynamic. The Poor Me, feeling that the Intimidator is robbing him or her of energy on a frightening scale, tries to stop the threatening interchange by assuming a cringing, helpless attitude. The Poor Me attempts to make the Intimidator feel guilty in order to stop the attack and regain a flow of energy. The other possibility for a matching drama is the counter-Intimidator. This drama will occur if the Poor Me attitude does not work, or if the personality of the other person is also aggressive. Then this person will fight back with the original Intimidator. If one of your parents was an Intimidator, chances are one of his or her parents was an Intimidator or a Poor Me.

Interrogator

Interrogator are less threatening, but break down spirit and will by mentally questioning all activities and motivations. Hostile critics, they look for ways to make others wrong. The more they dwell on your faults and mistakes, the more you will watch them and react to their every move. As you strive to prove yourself or answer to them, the more energy you send their way. Whatever you say may be used against you at some time. You feel as if you are constantly being monitored.

Hyper-vigilant, their behavior may range from being cynical, skeptical, sarcastic, needling, perfectionistic, self-righteous, to viciously manipulative. They initially engage others with their wit, infallible logic, facts, and intellect.

As parents, Interrogators create Aloof children and sometimes Poor Me's. Both types want escape the probing of the Interrogator. Aloofs want escape having to answer (and be drained of their energy) to the constant scrutiny and needling of the Interrogator.

Aloof

Aloof people are caught up in their own internal world of unresolved struggles, fears, and self-doubt. They believe unconsciously that if they appear mysterious or detached, others will come to draw them out. Often lonely, they keep their distance for fear of others imposing their will or questioning their decisions (as their Interrogator parents did). Thinking they have to do everything on their own, they don't ask for help. They need a lot of space and often avoid being pinned down by commitments. As children they were not often allowed to satisfy their need for independence or acknowledged for their own identity.

Prone to move toward the passive end of the continuum, they don't realize that their own aloofness might be the cause of their of their not getting what they want (e.g., money, love, self-esteem), or for their feelings of stagnation or confusion. They often see their main problem as the lack of something (money, social contacts, education).

Their behavior ranges from disinterested, unavailable, uncooperative, to condescending, rejecting, contrary, and sneaky.

Skilled at detachment as a defense, they tend to cut off their own energy. Opportunities slip away while they overanalyze everything. With any hint of conflict or confrontation, the Aloof becomes vague and can disappear (screening phone calls or not keeping appointments). They initially engage through their mysterious, hard-to-get persona.

Aloofs usually create Interrogators, but can also get into dramas with Intimidators or even Poor Me's because Aloofs are the center of the continuum.

Poor Me or Victim

Poor Me's don't ever feel they have enough power to confront the world in an active way, so they elicit sympathy, pulling energy toward them. When using the silent treatment they may slide toward the Aloof mode, but as Poor Me's they make sure that the silence does not go unnoticed.

Always pessimistic, Poor Me's pull attention to themselves by worried facial expressions, sighing, trembling, crying, staring into the distance, answering questions slowly, and retelling poignant dramas and crises. They like to go to the last of the line and defer to others. They often say, "Yes, but…"

Poor Me's initially seduce by their vulnerability and need for help. However, they are not really interested in solutions because then they would lose their source of energy. They might also exhibit over-accommodating behavior which eventually leads them into feeling taken advantage of and reinforces their Poor Me method of gaining energy. As accommodators they have little ability to set boundaries and limits, and behavior ranges from convincing, telling too much, to trying to solve problems that are not their business. They open themselves to being objectified, perhaps through their beauty or sexual favors, and then resent being taken for granted.

Poor Me's sustain their victim stance by attracting people who intimidate them. In extreme cases of domestic violence, an Intimidator will involve the Poor Me in increasingly violent episodes of abuse toward the Poor Me until a climax is reached. Afterwards, the Intimidator retreats and apologizes, thus sending energy that seduces the Poor Me back into the cycle.
Because we tend to repeat these energy manipulations with everyone we meet, and to structure life events around these devices, these control dramas are repeated patterns that seem to bring on the same life situations over and over. Once we bring our control dramas into consciousness, however, we begin to catch ourselves every time we revert to them, and so stay more connected with inner energy.

And once we become more centered internally and our control dramas come into greater awareness, these old habits can begin to evolve into positive strengths.

Intimidator / Leader

When connected to the true source of power, an Intimidator will find more self-esteem when he or she uses his or her leadership qualities. Assertive without being domineering, confident without being arrogant, he or she has more chance of enjoying challenges and gaining the cooperation of others.

Interrogator / Advocate

The Interrogator, transformed, channels the predilection for questioning into research, using more well-rounded interpersonal skills as a teacher, counselor or advocate.

Aloof / Independent Thinker

Freed from the need to remain an outsider, Aloofs access deep inner intuitive resources to bring wisdom and creativity to their life's work, such as being a priest/priestess, healer, or artist.

Poor Me / Reformer

Having experienced true nurturing and unity, the Poor Me is able to stay grounded in his or her own inner source and becomes a compassionate reformer, social worker, or healer.
An analysis of our early childhood can reveal how our control dramas evolved, but once this is forgiven we can see deeper reasons why we were with our early family. From our parents' strengths and from particular growth issues they didn't complete, we can derive our life question and our work or 'mission' in the world.


INSIGHT 7: Engaging the Flow

The Seventh Insight is the awareness that coincidences have been leading us toward the attainment of our missions and the pursuit of our life questions all along. Day to day, however, we grow by understanding and following the smaller questions that are derived from our broader goals. Once we get the questions right, the answers always come through mysterious opportunities. Each synchronicity, no matter how growthful, always leaves us with another prime question, so our lives proceed through a process of question, answer, new question, as we evolve along our spiritual paths. Synchronistic answers come from many sources: dreams, daydreams, intuitive thoughts, and most frequently, other people who feel inspired to bring us a message.


INSIGHT 8: The Interpersonal Ethic:
A New Perspective on Relationships

The Eighth Insight is the awareness that most synchronicity takes place through messages brought to us by other people and that a new spiritual ethic toward others enhances this synchronicity. If we are not competing with others energetically, and remain connected to mystical energy within, then we can uplift others with our energy, focusing on the beauty on every face, seeing another person's higher genious. The energy we give when we speak to the higher self lifts the other person into a fuller awareness of who they are, what they are doing, and so increases the possibility that a synchronistic message can be conveyed. The uplifting of others is especially important when interacting within a group, where the entire group's energy can enter whoever is intuitively moved to speak. Also important is using this ethic when caring for and interacting with children. To uplift children, we must speak to their higher-self wisdom and treat them with integrity. In romantic relationships, care must be taken that the euphoric love connection does not replace our connection with mystical energy within. This love euphoria always degenerates into a power struggle as both people become addicted to each other for energy.

Feeling Energized
Start your day with the intention of being alert for messages.

Before you leave the house, take five or ten minutes to center yourself, concentrating on your breathing. Imagine yourself filled with light radiating out for at least one or two minutes. Imagine yourself as part of a circle of incoming and outgoing energy.

Throughout the day, connect with the beauty in your environment as often as you can.
Energizing Others
As you meet and talk with people, see beyond their ordinary faces, to the glory of their spiritual essence.

Focus on their unique qualities. See beauty in their faces.

As you listen to them, give them your complete attention.

Project energy to them as they speak.

Remember that their higher self has a message for you, and you can assist them in giving it by filling them with energy.
Receiving Messages
Listen internally for any questions or remarks that occur to you to ask others . . . it could trigger an important exchange of information.

If you feel energized around this person, you probably have an important connection.

If you feel drained around someone, rethink what this relationship is offering you. Review codependency themes and warning signs.

Notice what thoughts occur to you after conversations.

What changes do you see in your life or your relationships as you practice these new behaviors?




INSIGHT 9: The Emerging Culture

The Ninth Insight is the awareness of how evolution will proceed as we live the other Insights...


If The Celestine Prophecy, the first nine Insights, was about the emerging understanding that we are awakening from the materialistic slumber of the modern age - about realizing we are spiritual beings connected within with the wise intelligence behind the universe itself, about opening up to our higher intuitive guidance and following mysterious coincidences that eventually reveal a truth, a mission, that we personally are destined to bring to the world...

Then The Tenth Insight is the deeper understanding that this has been the program behind human life since the beginning of the universe - that we, as humans, have come here from a heavenly dimension, generation by generation, to awaken and discover missions and thus systematically build a spiritual culture we can already envision.

The Tenth Insight is the realization that throughout history human beings have been unconsciously struggling to implement this lived spirituality on Earth. Each of us comes here on assignment, and as we pull this understanding into consciousness, we can remember a fuller birth vision of what we wanted to accomplish with our lives. Further we can remember a common world vision of how we will all work together to create a new spiritual culture. We know that our challenge is to hold this vision with intention and prayer everyday.
In The Tenth Insight, my goal was to enunciate an insight that I feel strongly has come upon spiritual people everywhere: that thoughts and intentions matter, and that we are called upon to make our mental images more conscious. When we have a thought about the future, any thought - random, whimsical, fear-based, or angry - these thoughts rise into the ethers and act to set up outcomes, many of which we wouldn't really want. In this sense, every thought is a prayer, and each of us is actively creating what will occur in our lives, as well as the shape of civilization in the years to come. That is how powerful we are.

What is most interesting about all of this is that science is in our side. If you have a sense that placing such importance on everyday thought is odd and fanciful and violates common sense, check again. Thoughts have a power that goes out over space to impact individuals and their course of action. And each of us must refine the vision of the future we hold, and hold it consciously.

Yet even as this insight begins to permeate the world's mind, I believe a new insight is emerging on the horizon: the importance of engaging the flow, of acting upon our vision. While this might seem self-evident -- we act all the time in the course of survival -- what I'm suggesting is that we're learning a new kind of action that more deeply reflects the vision of the future that we are consciously holding.

Here's an example. Suppose that one key element of the vision we pray for is that adults everywhere and governmental bodies of all kinds would focus anew on the care and nurturing of children. We think of this situation frequently, we fill the air with an image of everyone coming to their senses, and beginning to rescue children in need, cultivating their talents and gifts. But then, down the street, we notice a real child in real need. Perhaps the child is from a family under stress that would welcome our participation with the young person. We feel the intuitive urge to intervene, and we do. We act to nurture, to guide, to support.

Interestingly, the power of the act doesn't stop there. Others see the action, and as sociologists know, it enters into that important role of a social norm. Because one of us has done it, it is easier, more acceptable and understandable for another to do it. In short, our new vision, the image we are holding, now has a model.

Human evolution is theater. First we have a vision, then we build a world of meaningful activity around it. We live in an incredibly important time. Each of us focuses on a different aspect of human life that we are here to improve, and we hold a vision for the evolution we all desire. The next step necessary to move rapidly into a more ideal society is to find a way to act, to consciously create a new field of behavior that reflects our vision. It can sometimes be daunting, but the responsibility to take the first step always falls on those who see most clearly.

Just do it.

Then The Eleventh Insight, the one I believe is emerging into human culture in the present moment, is about how to use our highest energy and intention to bring about this world we intuit. For centuries, religious scriptures, poems, and philosophies have pointed to a latent power of mind within all of us that mysteriously helps to create the future. It has been called faith power, positive thinking, and NLP. I believe that for the first time we are taking this power seriously enough to bring a fuller knowledge of it into public awareness, and we are realizing that it is truly a faith/prayer power that can change the direction of our lives.

Key Concepts

• Every assumption, unconscious or not, is a prayer that we send out that acts to make that assumption true.

• This includes any unconscious beliefs about our own health, abilities, and success --which means that if we hold an opinion that we have poor abilities or might not succeed or reach our dreams, then it is exactly like we are praying for that specific outcome.

• It also means that any critical thought about others is just like praying for whatever we are criticizing.

• Mastering this faith/prayer power first means becoming aware of all our assumptions and mindful of every single thought.

• To extend our prayer power we must increase our overall level of connection with the divine within and let this energy overflow outward with very specific visualizations.

• We engage the angelic realms when our prayer power is focused on a specific situation.

It is my opinion that this change of understanding, this shift to believing in this power at a higher level, will move spiritual evolution at a quicker pace in this millennium. Not only will we increase our own mysterious synchronicity, and the speed with which our own dreams come true, but we will be able to intervene directly as we become aware of troubled situations. Prayer vigils will become much more effective.



The Eleventh Insight is the precise method through which we hold the Celestine vision. For centuries, religious scriptures, poems, and philosophies have pointed to a latent power of mind within all of us that mysteriously helps to affect what occurs in the future. It has been called faith power, positive thinking, the power of prayer. We are now taking this power seriously enough to bring a fuller knowledge of it into public awareness. We are finding that this prayer power is a field of intention and moves out from us and can be extended and strengthened, especially when we connect with others in a common vision. This is the power through which we hold the vision of a spiritual world and build the energy in ourselves and others to make this vision a reality.




INTUITING THE TWELFTH INSIGHT

What a human world. Look at it. At first glance, all we see is conflict, competition, and the old habit of demonizing those who seem to be opposed to our ideas: in order to make ourselves feel correct and more important.

In politics, the political left demonizes the right, and vice versa. In education any attempt at reform and rejuvenation, is met with cries of racism and union busting by those guarding the status quo. In medicine, we see the dominating power of big pharmaceutical corporations; spending millions to court doctors, influence research, (all once deemed unethical) all the while expanding the mechanistic model of the human body. Corporate support of medical schools seems to be turning physicians into sales representatives, winning trips for pushing one drug over another. (Also once considered unethical.)

Soon, as President Bush announced in a recent speech, there will be synthetic hormones, and brain chemicals, and designer "feel good" pills that motor through the body homing in like tiny submarines to alter specific molecular interactions. They are even developing artificial blood.

The last straw, for many people, is having to cope with what seems to be the diminishing effectiveness of reform movements, once so full of energy and focus, which now seem to be losing steam. The younger generations do not seem to care as much. And the media is somewhere else chasing ratings. In short, the world seems increasingly out of control, with corruption and venality running rampant, terrorists promising more attacks, and a citizenry clearly overwhelmed.

Yet, from the Celestine point of view, a first glance into this crazy world is not enough. I am convinced society is not spiraling into oblivion; it is not slipping out of our control. We never had any control to begin with. All we really have is input. That's it. Sometimes our input, our viewpoint seems to be validated by the trends we see around us, and sometimes it goes the other way.

What we are witnessing in these crazy years is a momentary swing of the evolutionary pendulum, the last surge of momentum into the extreme, before we slow down and drop back in another direction. What we must grok, I believe, is that the progress of the world operates through a dialectical process, just as the philosopher Hegel envisioned in the Eighteenth Century. First, you have a way of life or belief, a thesis, and then someone disagrees, and proposes a counter idea, an antithesis. And then from outside these poles a compromise emerges, a greater truth or way of life that represents a better integration of the polar positions, one that works better. You have a higher synthesis. The pendulum swings in another direction.

Right now, we see the last hurrah of the materialist, secular orientation that has prevailed for so long in human society going wildly to the extreme. Already, a lived spiritual orientation has begun to blossom. But it has not prevailed yet, primarily because it is political expression that has not been fully developed. It often sounds like a replay of the old thesis-antithesis arguments between capitalism and communism, thinking that the only way to have an enlightened society is to force it on people, hailing big bureaucratic government to replace the personal initiative and independence of the materialist life, and preventing it from becoming a true transcending synthesis.

A synthesis to the current situation has to assert the importance of the system of private initiative and spontaneous creativity to a lived spirituality, but infuse this system with an ethical understanding that deals with our concerns about pollution, preserving cultural traditions, honoring consumer and worker protection, and acting in harmony with an emergent new spiritual viewpoint.

Of course, I believe the Celestine vision, emerging out there, by any name, is the new synthesis coming into view. It spells out a new life image of ourselves that sees our bodies as an energetic whole, and calling for a new nutrition-oriented medicine. It assumes an inner intuition that can guide our decision-making and synchronistically move each of us into a more inspired and productive economic niche, easing poverty, and pushing the ethical values mentioned above. And most of all, it sees evolutionary process for what it is: a march toward a perfection of human culture by consciously working through polar opposites until we can take the best aspects of both extremes and mold them into something that both sides can accept.

This allows evolution to take a step forward, instead of remaining deadlocked in a stalemate of demonization.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Attitude by Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skills. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

Children Learn What They Live

Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Neite

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
He a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Interesting Careers – Happiness Coach
By Paula Barnes
Shveitta Sethi Sharma – Happiness Coach

Shveitta Sethi Sharma is a Happiness coach and has spent almost half her life travelling around the world in search of an answer to “What is happiness?” This remarkable Woman sat down with the Women in charge team to discuss her interesting career path and passion for making a ‘happier’ world.

How did you become a Happiness Coach?
The whole idea came about as a lark over a breakfast meeting. I had just quit my job and was studying positive psychology and generally trying to understand the meaning of life/happiness. At the breakfast meeting (with media and banking people) I did not have any name cards, so when people asked me what I did, I said (in jest) I bottle happiness, study it and hopefully will one day be able to sell it.

I got many quizzical looks and a lot of interest. Everyone I met that day wanted to find out the secret of happiness. I received the maximum number of name cards of any day with every one asking me to email them once I had figured out the secret to happiness

Something that came about in jest suddenly sounded rather exciting and I decided to pursue the subject in its entirety. I started reading the various self help books available. I read a lot of material by Louise Hay , Esther and Jerry Hicks, Wayne Dawyer amongst many others, and then went on to read Martin Seligman’s and Tal Ben Shahar’s work on Positive Psychology followed by books on Epigenetics by Bruce Lipton and Candace Pert and tried to understand Quantum Physics by reading Greg Braden and Amit Goswami . Then I went on to read some philosophers and a whole lot of spiritual and religious text and attended various seminars, both scientific and spiritual. But the most useful resource turned out to be YouTube and Google. I pretty much found all that I was looking for in the theoretical field and then I started my practical data collection via interviews and Questionnaires.

As I read and researched, I came to the understanding that happiness was a self created and self fulfilling phenomenon. It was something we had a hundred percent control upon.
The next logical question therefore was, ‘If we had a hundred percent control on our happiness, was it possible to develop and exercise that control?

Even though we have a genetic bias towards our determinant state of happiness, I believe that Happiness is a skill and it can surely be developed with the proper exercises and some guidance.

What does a Happiness Coach do?

The job of a happiness coach is to guide one towards a more fulfilling and a positive life by offering the various tools available to raise the happiness set point. As with any other coach, is it a sports coach, a musical instrument coach, a parent or a teacher, the job of the happiness coach is to identify the current level of understanding of the subject and then identify ways of improving the same.

As one of my teacher “Matthieu Ricard” says “Happiness is life’s most important skill and often the most overlooked.

My current position as a Happiness coach therefore came about as a journey inwards into the self and the need to find out the real meaning of happiness for very personal reasons compounded by the immense interest shown by the people when I mentioned I was studying the meaning of happiness.

Did you need to study a certain course?
Yes there are courses that one can do to get a degree in ‘happiness’. It goes by the name of MAAP- Masters in Applied Positive Psychology offered by UPenn. But there is so much information available on line that if one truly wants to seek the knowledge for the sake of the knowledge and not the degree, it could be a lifelong endeavor.

I personally chose the path of knowledge and am constantly finding out more and more ways of increasing happiness.

What do you love about your job?
What I love about my job, actually it is not a job, it is a passion. A job is something one does in exchange of money. I have not yet been able to put a price on my passion, but have definitely received a lot in return. At times it has been a profuse thank you, a big hug, an amazing lunch, new friends or cheques in mail varying from 50 HKD to 8000 HKD. So I guess I can’t call it a job, but it is most definitely a calling, so I pretty much love every aspect of my calling. With every new person that I coach, I learn so much more.

What are some of the negatives?
The only negative, if you insist on my naming one would be that sometimes people who are going through a tough time may not seem to understand how it could be possible for someone to teach them how to be happy. They might then think you are trying to sell them into a new ideology which they do not agree with. On the other hand, sometimes if you do offer help, people might impose too much on your time and call you at any time of the night or day.

For those who would consider becoming a Happiness Couch what advice would you give them?For those wanting to become Happiness Coach, the number one thing I would say is Walk your walk and talk your talk. Become happy yourself and then you will automatically attract all that you need to become even more happier. I have met many coaches who preach, but do not follow. I do understand that a coach is not necessarily the best player on the team, but it sure helps to know the game. The more thorough one is in ones chosen subject the more successful one is. To quote Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Before embarking on coaching others become happy become happier yourself.


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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Geshe Michael Roach Reveals the Secrets Behind Wealth and Abundance

Geshe Michael Roach has helped to reach annual sales of US$200 million, as one of the founders of Andin International Diamond Corporation, which was recently purchased by Warren Buffett, America’s second wealthiest man.

Roach’s book, The Diamond Cutter (published in 2000), tells the story of how he has used the ancient wisdom of Buddhism (he was the first Western person to be awarded a doctorate from Sera Mey University of Tibet) to create wealth and growth within the diamond company. Over the years, the book has become an international best-seller and has been translated into 20 different languages. Today, over 3 million people around the world use the book as a guide to help them achieve success in the business world, as well as their personal lives. The Diamond Cutter highlights Roach’s corporate experience, as the primary negotiator for the company, in which he also hired, trained and motivated hundreds of employees.

He now travels around the globe to teach people how the secrets of The Diamond Cutter, such as “emptiness” and its hidden potential, can make any business or relationship reach the highest levels of success. He speaks to Vivienne Tang about the key principles of an entrepreneur and how the "Diamond Cutter" knowledge can transform every facet of your life.



What has been your biggest lesson?

Emptiness. Something happened to me in 1975. During meditation I got a direct insight into what emptiness is. You might understand something intellectually, but if you truly understand what emptiness is, you can do anything, you can change anything, you can learn any language, you can make a company successful… I had a very bad bone disease in my leg. I couldn’t walk, and now I do ballet.



What are your key tips for entrepreneurs?

Number one, help somebody else to start his company. Find a poor person and help them. I helped a Tibetan refugee to start his own company, and I spent all my money on that for 22 years. I support poor people to start their business. We believe in karma.



When you say help, do you mean time and money?

First you give them money, and then you give them your own time. If you help a smaller guy, your business will grow.

It’s noble to help other people, but that’s actually not why we do it. It’s actually the best business strategy. Even if you don’t care about religion or spirituality, if you want to be successful, then you still have to help other people. That’s the best strategy. I’m not teaching charity, I’m teaching how to be successful. So if you use this method you will be financially successful, and you will also be noble. [laughs]



Should one specifically invest in someone’s business or is it enough to be generous and give away money to beggars for example?

If I give $10 to someone because I feel sad for them, or they need help or my father told me to do this, we say that there won’t be much result. If you say, “I’m giving you $100. I want to help your business. You will be successful. And I will be successful too, it will come back to me”, then that’s a different approach. So you accept the principle that it’s ok for both people to benefit.



What do you recommend when people still have doubts and fears around their projects or businesses?

In Buddhism, we are not allowed to accept anything by faith. We have to examine, question and experiment. Buddha said, “Don’t believe me. If I make a suggestion to you, try it. If it works, great. But if it doesn’t work, scrap it.” Try… we say, “Give 10% of your profits every six months.” Whatever income you have, 10% out of that. You won’t lose anything by trying.

The only way to get rid of a doubt is to experiment. Or you learn more, education. There are two ways to perceive something. One is direct perception. You give, and money comes to you. Then you have faith, and you believe. The second one is deduction. You can say, “That guy, Geshe Michael, he didn’t go to business school. He didn’t know anything, yet he made a quarter billion dollar company… So maybe he knows. Maybe I’ll try it.” But we say the fastest way to fix doubt is to try. If you have a disaster, if you lose all your money… it’s very helpful. It pushes you to try new things. This economy is great, because people will try new things. When it gets better, people won’t be willing. [laughs]



What does success mean to you? Do you look at yourself as being very successful?

Inside I’m successful. We believe you have to start with “outside” success. You can’t lecture somebody, who doesn’t have food, about meditation. They have to eat, they have to have a house, they have to have clothing. So we start with money. Then they need a partner, they need a family. That’s quite a success. And then they need to be happy. You can have a family, a house, a car, and you can be unhappy. [laughs] We don’t say you should give up your car or family. We say you can have everything, a good job, a nice family and a nice house.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Top 10 Brain Foods that make you Smarter and Healthier

By Jillian McMullen / Source: Health Source Magazine

When it comes to food, you have a wealth of delicious choices. And each one not only tastes good but also supplies unique health benefits. From blueberries to dark chocolate, leading nutritionists and physicians are pointing to certain foods that enhance brain power and, they say, a heart-healthy lifestyle.

Although theres no conclusive research about the healthful brain benefits of particular supplements, food sources rich in vitamin E and Omega 3 fatty acids may provide benefit, says Jillian McMullen, R.D., LD/N, Outpatient Clinical Dietician with Mayo Clinic.

Vitamin E-rich foods include vegetable oils, nuts, seeds, green leafy vegetables, and whole grains. Omega 3-rich foods include fish, walnuts and flax seeds.

We also know that adequate amounts of B vitamins are essential for brain function, says McMullen. Some studies suggest a protective role of vitamins B9 (folic acid) and B12, but more research is needed before we can recommend these supplements. It doesnt hurt to eat foods rich in folic acid such as green, leafy vegetables, fortified breads and cereals, and dried beans, as well as those chocked full of vitamin B12 like fish, meat, eggs, cheese and chicken.

It's All About Balance

Theres no denying that as we age, our body (and brain) ages right along with us. Getting older brings some risk of cognitive problems such as Alzheimers disease or dementia. Theres also increased brain function risk from certain diseases like hypertension, diabetes and obesity that can cause damage to the brain.

Theoretically, we can control these diseases and keep our brain healthy unlike old age or genetic factors that we cant control, says Floyd Willis, M.D., family medicine practitioner and creator of Mayo Clinics LiveWell. ThinkWell. program.

It all ties together, Willis says. People who have the most risk of strokes are those with hypertension, diabetes and obesity. Often, people dont associate the truism that as goes the heart, so goes the brain (and kidney). The impetus of the Mayo LiveWell. ThinkWell. healthy brain program is about maintaining a healthy balance and healthy lifestyle.

Dr. Willis created the community outreach program offered through Mayos Memory Disorder Clinic to educate African-Americans about healthy brain aging and memory disorders. African-Americans may have higher risk for Alzheimers disease because they have a higher incidence of some medical conditions associated with dementia, according to the Alzheimers Association. The program provides information to seniors and their families about memory disorders and brain aging, including tips on how to keep the mind healthy.

Research is showing that you can increase your chances of maintaining a healthy brain well into old age if you add super foods to your daily diet. Blueberries have been found to help protect the brain and animal studies have shown that diets rich in blueberries significantly improved both the learning capacity and motor skills of aging rats, making them mentally equivalent to much younger rats.

But, we cant conclude that antioxidant-rich foods like blueberries, strawberries and spinach will have the same age-related reversal of brain deficits in humans as those they found in rats. The American Dietetic Association is currently studying the effect of strawberries, blueberries, prunes, spinach and fatty fish, and may find positive benefits to short term memory, says McMullen.

Whether or not the foods are brain super foods, theyre heart healthy and a great part of a balanced diet, she says. A diet rich in a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meats and low-fat dairy is essential to overall health and energy.

Healthy Food for a Healthy Life

Carol Albanesi, Director of Food Services and a registered nurse for Flagler Hospital, agrees. The foods were talking about are foods that are necessary and appropriate for a healthy diet. Theres not any true super food. A healthy diet has to be part of a healthy lifestyle that includes getting enough sleep (six to eight hours a day) and eating right. By that I also mean eating breakfast, not skipping meals and adding several small snacks during the day.

Albanesi suggests that by eating healthy food, getting enough sleep and exercising three to five times a week youll increase your optimum health. All of these activities, including eating brain boosting super foods, bring oxygen to the brain by expanding blood vessels for increased blood flow to the brain.

Your circulatory system feeds your cells and pulls away toxins, she says. Thats why you need to increase blood flow with these activities. Exercise is particularly good because it increases blood flow, lowers blood pressure and keeps your body healthy.

Beans, she says, are a great food source because theyre a good carbohydrate and protein source, theyre inexpensive and they stabilize your glucose during the day. Drinking water is also important. Albanesi also suggests six to eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day.

The Top Ten Brain Boosting Foods

Sally Clifton, MSH, RD, LD/N, at Shands Hospital, offers her top ten brain super food picks:

1. Coffee - The caffeine and the coffee bean itself have been shown to have some antioxidant properties, she says. Most of the benefits for boosting brain power come from the caffeine. Suggested serving: no more than two or three cups a day.

2. Tea - Freshly brewed green and black tea have antioxidant properties and some caffeine that dilates blood vessels and increases the blood flow to the brain, enhancing memory focus and mood. Its temporary so everyone should judge the amount, Clifton says. The tea contains catechines that are the antioxidant properties; flavored tea doesnt have caffeine. Suggested serving: no more than two or three cups a day.

3. Blueberries - Blueberries are one food that really stands out, she says, because they have a certain antioxidant that prevents oxidative stress to help reduce age-related diseases. Over time, because youre exposed to the environment, youre more exposed to free radicals. Thats why its so important that athletes take in fruits and vegetables.
She advises adding a variety of fruits to your diet. An easy way to add them is putting a cup in your smoothie, shake, yogurt or on cereal. Suggested serving: 1 cup a day.

4. Wild or farm-raised salmon - Wild salmon tends to be leaner and purer than farm-raised but both are good, she says. Salmon is rich in Omega 3 fatty acids and contains anti-inflammatory substances that ultimately aid in blood flow and brain activity, lowering dementia and stroke risk and enhancing memory. Salmon even keeps the blood flowing in the very small capillaries in the brain, she says. Suggested serving: 4-ounces two or three times a week grilled, baked or broiled.

5. Nuts and seeds - Nuts and seeds are rich in vitamin E that boosts brain function and corresponds with less cognitive decline. Nuts and seeds also offer a large dose of monounsaturated fat that is heart healthy and promotes blood flow. A caveat is that nuts and seeds are very high in good fat, so limit the amount. Choose unsalted if you have hypertension. Almonds, walnuts and peanuts are very good but choose a variety, she says. Suggested serving: about one-fourth cup or one ounce a day.

6. Avocados - Although avocados got a bad rap for having a lot of fat several years ago, the green fruit is actually very healthy all around. Theyre packed with monounsaturated fat but its good fat. Avocados also have a lot of antioxidants and some amino acids (protein), help lower blood pressure and help reduce inflammation. I suggest putting them on a sandwich, in a salad or on your salmon for a double brain boost. Suggested serving: one-quarter to one-half of an avocado daily.

7. Whole grains - Whole grains like whole wheat bread, pasta, cereals, wheat germ and brown rice create good blood flow because they have more intact nutrients including vitamin E, antioxidants, fiber and some have Omega 3 fatty acids. Blood flow is crucial because it helps keep the integrity of cells in the brain, says Clifton.

8. Pomegranate juice - Although juice has been maligned because its packed with sugar, pomegranate juice is full of antioxidants and a small amount of sugar helps with immediate energy. Stick to about 2 ounces of natural fruit juice per serving. A way to do that is to mix the juice with sparkling water or sprite for a flavor boost. You can add it to water several times a day and eat a piece of fruit, she says. Suggested serving: about 6 to 8 ounces a day.

9. Beans - All kinds of beans including black beans, kidney beans and lentils offer a lot of fiber and help stabilize your glucose levels throughout the day, allowing your brain to better use the food for fuel. Suggested serving: one-half cup a day.

10. Dark chocolate - This decadent food has powerful antioxidant properties and also has a small amount of caffeine, a natural stimulant that aids with focus and concentration. Dark chocolate also stimulates production of endorphins that help improve mood. For a double health surge, try chocolate covered blueberries. Suggested serving: one-half to one ounce a day.

Back to Basics

The key is a healthy diet and eating small meals throughout the day to boost brain power because the food is giving you small energy boosts, says Clifton. I most often work with people to establish balance. Some people will drink coffee all day long. The unhealthy aspect of drinking this much coffee is that the caffeine suppresses appetite. So they deprive their body during the day and then overeat at night. Thats not a balanced, healthy way of eating.

Almost all of the super foods can easily be incorporated into one meal such as a salad or wrap. You may be thinking diet, but by adding these foods youre also sharpening your thinking. Clifton agrees that getting back to basics with exercise, getting eight hours of sleep a night (eight is more beneficial than less) and using meditation and relaxation exercises like yoga all help increase your body awareness and health.

With meditation and relaxation, you're breathing better and relieving tension and stress. It all goes together, but eating right does take some planning. The bonus to taking time to plan your meals is that youll gain more health benefits. A good idea is to get your spouse and children involved. Its more fun and motivating if you and your family cook together. Online resources for healthy recipes include eatright.org, the official website of the American Dietetic Association, and cookinglight.com, she says.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Who knew?

Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain
almost immediately-without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional
pain relievers?

Did you know that Colgate
Toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?


Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.


Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 tablespoon horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product was never advertised for this use.


Honey remedy for skin blemishes... cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.


Listerine therapy for toenail fungus: Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine Mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection..to prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear Nail Polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... if menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover:
Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the
dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's Tomato Paste boil
cure... cover the boil with Hunt's Tomato Paste as a compress. The acids from
the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters... to disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops
of Listerine, a powerful antiseptic.

Vinegar to heal bruises... soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... it's not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly,and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.


If you send this to one person who doesn't know about this, then it was worth
it.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Inspirational quotes

“One of the redeeming things about being an athlete is redefining what is humanly possible.” - Lance Armstrong

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” - Nelson Mandela

“The mind is like a river; upon its waters thoughts float through in a constant procession every conscious moment. You stand on a bridge over it and can stop and turn back any thought that comes along. The art of contentment is to let no thought pass that is going to disturb you.” -Dr. Frank Crane

“Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other.” - Brian Tracy

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” Mahatma Gandhi


“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” - Abraham Lincoln

“ The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, char.” Benjamin Franklin

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” - Oprah Winfrey

“You can do anything you think you can. This knowledge is literally the gift of the gods, for through it you can solve every human problem. It should make of you an incurable optimist. It is the open door.” - Robert Collier

“This is the best day the world has ever seen. Tomorrow will be better”. -R.A. Campbell

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” - Winston Churchill

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” Albert Einstein

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” - Frank Lloyd Wright

“I’ve always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don’t do things half heartedly because I know if I do, then I can expect half hearted results.” - Michael Jordan

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Route to Happiness… by Shveitta Sethi Sharma. Lesson 2 . Don’t wait till it’s broken

Don’t wait till it’s broken

How many times have you heard people say things like- “Don’t wait till it’s broken”, “A stitch in time saves nine” , reminding us to start fixing things before it gets too late.

Often when things are going great we don’t bother to think about “worst case scenarios” and it’s alright to do that, but what is not OK is to not have a contingency plan or the reserves for the not so OK times.

Would you take a chance with your most prized possession? Would you allow your child to stand in the middle of an expressway and try and dodge the oncoming traffic?

I don’t think so!

So, why do we choose to stand right in the middle of the expressway of unwanted thoughts and continue to stand there despite the oncoming danger?

It seems we do that NOT out of choice, but out of habit because we don’t know any better. We are afraid that if we move we might just get hit, so we choose the safer option and stand there with our eyes closed, hoping the unwanted/negative thoughts would just go away.

Eventually they do. But not before causing enough damage by leaving indelible marks on our psyche and rendering us paralyzed. It’s a bit like going through a bushy countryside. The first time we go through there is no path, second time we go through we create a semblance of a path and the third time we go on the same path we leave a definite trail behind. Our thoughts are the same. Every time we think a certain way we reinforce that particular thought pattern.

Why not then build within us the reserves needed to counter this onslaught of unwanted negative thoughts and pave a newer path.

Pathways are formed in our brain with any consistent action/thought. So the good news is that, if negative thoughts can form pathways, so can the positive. The only problem is that we tend to pay more attention to the negative than we do to the positive. For every positive thought we tend to have 4 negative thoughts.

I used to constantly complain about how tired I was. Tiredness led to laziness, laziness led to low productivity ( both in personal and professional life), low productivity led to disappointment, disappointment led to low self esteem and low self esteem led to depression and depression led to chronic fatigue syndrome. Don’t know how it all started, but an innocuous statement like “I am tired” led to a real ailment. No amount of physical therapy or, medication could help me. My pain was very real. I had constant headaches and shoulder pain. All I wanted to do was lie in bed and complain. It became a self fulfilling prophesy. I would have become yet another statistic and joined the hordes that are constantly popping pain killers and visiting doctors, physio’s, chiropractors, healers, etc. (They are all extremely helpful, but the most helpful is your own thought). Till you change your thought/belief nothing will change.

The first step for any kind of change or healing to take place is to change the thought pattern. But changing the thought may not be as easy as it sounds, so start with changing the speech pattern. Instead of saying “ I am so tired” , I started saying… “I have a lot to do”. Our subconscious takes everything we say or think rather literally. Saying, I am so tired would ensure that I be tired and blocked me from doing anything. Saying, I have a lot to do forced my subconscious to find ways of accomplishing the task.

Slowly with consistent and concerted effort to change my vocabulary, I changed the neural pathways in my brain and eventually trained myself to think positively most of the time.

So the one thing that I would recommend today, would be to try and really focus on your spoken word. Pay attention to the real meaning and see how it affects you. For one day try and change your vocabulary. Use words that have an uplifting vibration and see if it makes a difference.

Move away from the expressway of negative thoughts/words and take a stroll in the park of bliss.

Luv/luck/happiness

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Route to Happiness… by Shveitta Sethi Sharma.

Lesson 1

Sometimes, when we are feeling sad or depressed, it is hard for us to ever imagine that we were happy once. We all have issues in life that can unsettle us. Loss of a relationship, financial loss, loss of a loved one, loss of a job and so on. There is no one who is immune to loss, but we can surely immunize ourselves against long term pain. In fact we must. If we don’t pull ourselves out of the crevice, we will go in much deeper and sabotage any chance of happiness.


Often when any kind of loss takes place we start to grieve not for the loss, but for the effect it has on our being. We suddenly start to feel worthless. We start to see life as nothing but a chore and see no joy in living. We start to feel ugly on the inside and outside, we feel alone and insecure.

Although the feelings feel justified, we need to realize that they are not true. So what if we lost a relationship, a job, money. Does that make one a bad person? But that is what starts to happen in our heads, we lose perspective and start to blame ourselves and start to feel guilty about how we would have in some way or the other contributed to that loss. Often even when things are beyond our control, we end up apportioning blame towards ourselves.

The first step towards instant recovery is to realize that things happen and sometimes the outcome is not what we had hoped for or wanted. So instead of blaming others or yourselves, focus on raising your own vibration so that you can start to attract the good times . Staying in the negative field drags us further into negativity and pain and blocks the recovery.

Let’s get on board the train/bus/plane to destination “Happiness”.

So you are feeling lousy- Get up, go to a mirror and say all the bad things that come to your mind. Call yourself a failure, call yourself names, call yourself stupid for not being able to foresee the situation and blame yourself for all that went wrong. Now have a good cry. How does it feel? Does it feel good to berate yourself?

Probably not!

So let’s change the record. Go back to the mirror and now say to yourself the following.
_______________ ( your name) you are beautiful.
_______________ you are talented.
_______________ you are lovable.
_______________ you are lucky.
_______________ you are amazing.
_______________ you are brilliant.

Keep going . Find adjectives that uplift you and look yourself in the eyes and say that to yourself. You don’t need to believe what you say, but just say it.

Remember, “Fake it till you make it.” This may sound flakey and superficial and it probably is. The focus at this stage is not on truth or untruth….All we are trying to do is raise the vibrations of our being so that we are now ready to face the situation in a more positive way.

You may feel emotions welling up and you may feel like crying. Accept that it is OK to be upset and sad, but remind yourself that even though you can’t seem to find any reason to be happy, there is still something to look forward to. Dig deep within and find some happy memory and stay with it for a while. It may not want to stay long, and may want to be replaced by the sadness of the moment. Accept it. Allow it to stay , but treat it like an unwanted guest and then very quickly start thinking of another happy memory…. It might be difficult, but force yourself to think of at least one happy moment/blessing and dwell on it for a while.

Do this exercise and see if there is a shift in your emotions. You should start to feel better. Even though the feeling may be short lived, it’s a start.


Lesson 2 - next week.
Have a superlative week and choose happiness.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

100 Foods that Make You Smarter, Happier, and More Productive Posted by Site Administrator in Features on 09 9th, 2009 |

Taken from......http://www.onlinecolleges.net/2009/09/09/100-foods-that-make-you-smarter-happier-and-more-productive/


If you’re like most college students, chances are your diet isn’t optimized to give you the best nutrition. Although it’s easy to eat junk food, it’s not the best for your brain, body, and happiness. Here, we’ll take a look at 100 foods that can help you become smarter, happier, more productive…and maybe even a little bit sexier.

Essential Nutrients

In any food you eat, make sure you look for these essential nutrients for success.
Glucose: Your brain requires a constant supply of glucose, found in fruits, vegetables, and grains.
Dopamine: Eat dopamine-rich foods like meat, nuts, and soy to feel more alert.
Choline: Choline can provide you with memory enhancement and better reaction time.
Anthocyanin: Anthocyanins protect your brain from oxidation stress, and can be found in blackberries.
Acetylcholine: This neurotransmitter excited other neurons-it’s found in egg, peanuts, wheat germ, and more.
Low glycemics: Eat foods that offer a low glycemic ranking, as they will break down glucose molecules more slowly.
Vitamin E: Vitamin E is one of the essential vitamins for good brain health.
Vitamin B12: With B12, you’ll be able to repair brain cell damage that can stop memory loss.
Fiber: High fiber can help boost your cognitive performance.
Vitamin K: Getting vitamin K will help improve your cognitive function.
Iron: Iron can help you maintain good levels of focus and concentration.
Serotonin: Serotonin can produce feelings of pleasure, and is found in pasta, potatoes, cereals, breads, and starchy vegetables.
Vitamin C: Vitamin C is great for supporting your brain, so be sure to eat lots of citrus fruits.
Alphalinoleic: ALA offers an improvement of your central cortex, which processes sensory information.
B vitamins: B vitamins can improve your mood and mental performance.
Folic acid: Folic acid: Eating folic acid can help support your brain-healthy diet.
Zinc: Make sure you’re getting enough zinc to maintain your verbal memory.
Protein: Protein will help your body better absorb glucose.
Lycopene: This antioxidant found in tomatoes will help prevent free-radical damage to brain cells.
Phenylalanine: Phenylalanine works to support healthy neurological function.
Essential fatty acids: Omega-3s are great for brain development and maintenance.

Habits

Adopt these habits that can help you improve your nutrition.
Graze: Eat more frequent, but smaller, meals in order to keep your brain’s energy steady.
Eat a larger lunch: Avoid having a big dinner, opting for a larger lunch instead.
Eat breakfast: Breakfast can improve your cognition and reduce anxiety./li>

Brain Food

Eat these foods to feed your brain.
Raw carrots: Raw carrots will provide you with a steady level of blood sugar for your brain.
Cashews: Cashews are high in magnesium, which can give more oxygen-rich blood to your brain.
Pumpkin seeds: Pumpkin seeds are full of brain nutrients, like zinc and fatty acids.
Water: Get up to 2 liters of water a day to keep your brain hydrated.
Blackberries: Get your oxidation stress-preventing anthocyanins from blackberries.
Eggplant: Keep your brain sharp with eggplant, particularly the skin that keeps your brain sharp with the nutrient nasunin.
Meat: Meat will help your brain create neurotransmitters to send messages from neuron to neuron.
Seeds: By eating seeds, you can get your essential fatty acids.
Canola oil: Canola oil offers a good serving of Omega-3s.
Pecans: Eating pecans can provide you with choline, which is essential for optimal brain function.
Lean beef: Eating lean beef can help you get the iron you need for cognitive functioning.
Fish: Fish is high in protein, which offers a great source of amino acids.
Whole wheat bread: Whole wheat bread offers a less sharp spike in glucose levels.
Strawberries: Antioxidant-rich strawberries can boost your cognitive functioning.
Broccoli: In this superfood, you’ll find lots of vitamin K to enhance brainpower.
Scallops: Load up on scallops to get your essential fatty acids.
Tuna: With tuna fish, you’ll get Omega-3s that can help nerve signals move.
Nuts: Nuts are a great source of essential fatty acids like Omega-3s.
Yogurt: In yogurt, you’ll find improved neurotransmitters.
Cranberries: In cranberries, you’ll find a high concentration of antioxidants that can help prevent brain cell damage caused by free radicals.
Romaine lettuce: Romaine lettuce offers a good amount of Omega-3s and protein.
Hot cocoa: Pure cocoa powder packs an incredibly strong antioxidant punch.
Cheese: Eat cheese to provide your brain with the amino acids it needs.
Berries: Berries are high in complex carbohydrates which can offer you sustained brain energy.
Olive oil: Olive oil will give you a dose of potent antioxidant polyphenols.
Cold-water fish: Eating cold-water fish can provide you with the Omega-3s you need to keep your brain full of the right fats.
Walnut oil: Walnut oil can help you get the Omega-3s you need.

Productivity

With these foods, you can put your productivity into overdrive.
Peppermint tea: The scent of peppermint can help you focus and boost performance.
Avocados: Avoid bloating after a big lunch with this tasty treat that’s full of good fats.
Dark chocolate: Eat a small bar of dark chocolate for a great load of antioxidants and a sweet tooth satisfaction.
Sunflower seeds: Eat a handful of sunflower seeds to beat fatigue.
Almonds: With almonds, you can boost brainpower, stabilize your mood, and more.
Figs: The natural sweetness of figs offers high energy while staving off your appetite.
Watermelon: Watermelon offers energy and nutrients with low calories.

Alertness

Boost your alertness and focus using these foods.
Beans: With beans, you’ll get dopamine, which can help you feel more energized, alert, and assertive.
Oatmeal: Oatmeal can give you a steady stream of energy and better memory.
Raisins: Raisins offer high energy with antioxidants, without lots of fat and calories.
Walnuts: Load up on walnuts for Omega-3s that can help you think more clearly and stay focused.
Green tea: Drinking green tea can relax your brain and induce mental alertness.
Salad: Eating a high protein salad with vinaigrette will keep your energy levels high.
Fruit: Fruit offers an excellent source of carbohydrates that can break down gradually over time.
Flaxseed: Flax can help you keep up the levels of healthy fats that can improve your cerebral cortex.
Crunchy fruit: Low calorie, crunchy fruits can be eaten throughout the day for sustained brain energy.
Salmon: Get your Omega-3 fatty acids and niacin to stay on your toes.

Memory

With the help of these foods, you’ll be able to remember more.
Liver: In liver, you’ll find acetylcholine, which can help with memory and excite neurons.
Deeply colored produce: You’ll find lots of memory boosting antioxidants in fruits and vegetables with deep pigments.
Bell peppers: Bell peppers will help you stop a deteriorating memory.
Tomatoes: Tomatoes are full of lycopene, an antioxidant that can help stave off dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Coffee: For short term memory improvement, a little caffeine can go a long way.
Red cabbage: Eat red cabbage to get the polyphenols you need to prevent and treat Alzheimer’s disease.
Blueberries: In blueberries, you’ll find antioxidants that can help cut your risk of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
Eggs: Eggs are full of choline, which can improve your reaction time and memory.
Corn: Corn is a great source for improving your memory.
Bananas: Bananas are a good source of antioxidants.
Brown rice: Eating brown rice can help give your brain energy to improve memory.
Wheat germ: Wheat germ can help with memory and prevent Alzheimer’s memory loss.
Brussels sprouts: Eat brussels sprouts for a good dose of antioxidants.
Onions: The occasional onion can provide you with the nutrients you need to support your memory.

Mood

Boost your mood by eating one or some of these foods.
Pasta: With pasta, you’ll get serotonin, which can improve feelings of pleasure.
Alcohol: With moderate alcohol consumption, you can get more blood and oxygen to flow to the brain.
Leafy greens: Get your B-vitamins that produce feel-good hormones from arugula, chard, and spinach.
Garlic: Garlic isn’t just tasty, it’s a great mood booster.
Turkey: Everyone knows that the tryptophan in turkey can make you sleepy and mellow.
Carbohydrates: If you’re looking for mental soothing, look to carbohydrates.
Red wine: Get antioxidants, dopamine, and more to improve your mood from wine.
Concord grape juice: Just like red wine, grape juice can improve your mood.
Potatoes: Eating potatoes can give you a delivery of serotonin to boost your mood.

Foods to Avoid

If you’re eating for nutrition and productivity, steer clear of these foods.
Soda: High glucose levels can damage cells in your brain.
Full fat ice cream: Eating full-fat ice cream can clog your brain with saturated fat.
White chocolate: White chocolate is useless chocolate-it doesn’t have the cocoa solids that stimulate euphoria, so go for dark chocolate instead.
White bread: White bread can cause you to cause a stressful spike in glucose levels.
Fast food: Fast food has been shown to make people less intelligent.
Sports drinks: Although rich in electrolytes for athletes, they aren’t necessary for most moderately active people, and they are full of sugar.
Energy drinks: Drinking energy drinks can mess with your sleep schedule and handicap your mind.
Candy: Avoid sugar highs and lows by staying away from candy.
Saturated fat: If you eat a diet high in saturated fat, you’ll be susceptible to cognitive deficits, and even stroke.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Feel good.....

Would love for all of you to participate in this exercise.Can you please say something nice to your spouse/partner, child, co-worker, helper today. Wait for their reaction and observe your reaction. (If possible spend a few minutes thinking about how you felt) .It has been proven that giving and recieving compliments raises ones endorphin and seratonin level( feel good hormones) and boosts the immune system.

A clear Vision ( I got this in my inbox-thought I would share)

As you climb the ladder of success, check occasionally to make sure it is
leaning against the right wall."
Anonymous



A Clear Vision - What Do You Want?

Most people have a vague idea of success. Perhaps it means having money to
you, or owning nice things. Some people measure success in terms of
relationships, or raising a healthy family. Some measure in terms of influence,
or contribution.

Any way that you measure success is valid, as long as it brings you
happiness!

How do YOU measure success?

Take some time to answer this question. You may want to sit down with a
journal and a cup of tea and allow yourself to daydream. What would success
look like? What would it feel like? Don’t worry about what’s possible, or limit
yourself in any way. What would you like?

Consider:

Relationships

What would your ideal relationships look like?
How often would you get together with friends?
How would you spend time with your family?

Health

What would success in the arena of health look like to you?
What’s your ideal weight and level of physical activity?

Physical Surroundings

When you’re successful, what does your home look like?
What type of vehicle do you drive?
Where do you spend your time, what environment?
Free time/Hobbies/Personal Development
What do you do with your free time?
What spiritual practices do you enjoy?
What are your hobbies?
Career/Business
How much income would you like to have?
What type of work would you LOVE to do?
What would an ideal day look like?

All of these are part of a definition of AUTHENTIC SUCCESS, success
that comes from the alignment of mind, heart, body, and soul.
If you don’t know what you want, you can’t get it!
Most people are far more familiar with what they DON’T want, rather than
what they do want.

This is a spiritual principle as well as a practical one. Spiritually speaking, if you don’t know what you want, you can’t ask the Universe for it. Practically
speaking, if you don’t know what you want, you can’t begin to structure your
life to create it.

Action Step: Keep this list of what you want – we’ll be using it in an upcoming lesson!

Business Owners: You will want to do the section below as well!

A Clear Business Vision

What’s your vision for your business? How much money do you want to make
this year? In 5 years? How will that money come to you? What objectives,
strategies, and goals do you have for creating a business that serves you, serves
your customers, and serves the world?

It’s astonishing how many service-minded professionals don’t have a vision for
their business or their success. If you’re fuzzy about your details, don’t despair
– you have lots of company! Just know that this is the place to start.
This is a spiritual principle as well as a business principle. If you don’t know
what you want, you can’t create it – you can’t ask the Universe, or anyone in it,
for support. From a business standpoint, if you don’t know what you want,
you can’t create the structure to bring it into existence.

Action Step: Create a clear business vision.

Imagine that a good friend is asking you questions, and just write your answers
as though you were talking to her. You can even have a friend actually ask you
the questions, you answer verbally, and record the answer. You can transfer it
into writing later.

Why did you start your business? What do you want to accomplish with
it?
Who are the people that you help?
What problem do you solve for them?
What is special or unique about what you do?
What is true in the world that makes your business so important for
people? What makes it likely that you will succeed?
What does your ideal business day involve?
How much business would you like to have in 6 months? In one year?
What would that look like?
What do you need in order to achieve this?
Are there any key issues that need to be addressed for this to happen?
Surprise! You have just created everything that you need for your business
plan.

Creating a business plan is one good way to get your ideas down on paper.
Unless you’re in a business that seeks government funding, or loans from big
companies, a one-page business plan will be fine. There are lots of resources
on the web to help you create one, such as:
www.OnePageBusinessPlan.com
www.MyOwnBusiness.org
www.ehow.com/how_2086014_write-one-page-business-plan.html

Thursday, August 27, 2009

To turn good ideas into real change, use repetition.

ACCORDING TO THE INTERNATIONAL Listening Association, within twenty-four hours, we forget half of any information we’ve heard. Forty-eight hours later, we’ve forgotten 75 percent of it. And we don’t grasp everything we hear in the first place. But these numbers change when what we hear is repeated. And the more it’s repeated, the better the numbers look.

All this has a huge bearing on how you make changes in your life. You change your behavior by changing the way you think. But the way you think is as ingrained and habitual and as resistant to change as any physical habit.

So learning new ways of thinking and behaving — and learning them well enough to actually make a difference — requires repetition. If, for example, you find a book that really makes a difference to you, read it again and again. Make it an annual event. Every time you read it, you’ll come across things you’d forgotten about.

Audiotapes are ideal for repetition. Listen to tapes in your car and traffic jams will be transformed from an annoyance to an extended opportunity to improve the quality of your life.

Telling your friends about something you’ve learned helps cement the new information in your mind. The more you share it, the better you learn it. The effort and concentration it requires to explain something to someone makes it clearer in your own mind and more permanent.

There are always so many new books, new tapes, new shows, new ideas, new information — we know we’ll never get to it all, but our curiosity constantly pulls us toward it. But keep this in mind: Most of that new stuff isn’t very good. And even less applies to your situation. So when you come across something that is good and does apply to your situation, hold onto it. Reread it. When you come across a good chapter in this book that applies to you, read it again in a month. Write a letter to someone and explain the idea to them and how you used it and how it worked. Post it on your refrigerator. Read it onto a tape and listen to it in your car. Keep it in your life. Repetition makes a difference.

With repetition you can take a fleeting hope sparked by a good idea and turn it into an actual change in your life. Instead of that possibility fading with your memory, it can grow stronger and stronger until your life is changed for the better. The distance between hope and actuality is crossed by repetition.



To turn good ideas into real change, use repetition.

learn more about this principle

Author: Adam Khan
author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works
and creator of the blogs, Crush Pessimism, and Mood Raiser

How Positive Psychology Can Boost Your Business

BWSmallBiz -- Managing February 13, 2009, 5:00PM EST
How Positive Psychology Can Boost Your Business
In tough times, entrepreneurs try the so-called science of happiness to build thriving companies

By Jill Hamburg Coplan

To understand how positive psychology—the so-called science of happiness—is being used by entrepreneurs, it helps to look at a company under siege. After all, it's one thing to talk about the connections between a positive mental state and a healthy company when a business is running well, turning a profit, and grabbing new customers. But tougher times really test entrepreneurs, separating those who hunker down and hope the worst will pass from those who use their strengths to find opportunity amid rubble.

Robert Aliota is determined to be, when necessary, one of the latter. In 2004, Aliota, the owner of Carolina Seal, an 11-employee Charlotte (N.C.) company that makes custom-engineered parts for DuPont (DD) and John Deere (DE), among others, learned that a competitor had pounced on one of his key segments. Worse, the rival had hooked ExxonMobil (XOM), a customer that had eluded Aliota.

Rather than hole up in anger or fume, Aliota followed a central tenet of positive psychology: capitalize on your fundamental character strengths, especially when things get bleak. Aliota's strengths include extroversion, optimism, and generosity. He had in the past referred business to the rival and toured its plant. Now he concentrated on cementing the relationship. Not long after, he got a call from his competitor: ExxonMobil needed a special part. Could Aliota supply it? Four years later, he and the onetime rival "are as closely allied as you can get without a legal alliance," says Aliota.

Coaches specializing in positive psychology are selling entrepreneurs a twofold promise. One is that optimism and cheerfulness have a measurable effect on the bottom line. The other is that happiness is a muscle you can strengthen. Aliota is buying all of it. "We're capable of thinking in a more positive way, but you need help to learn how," he says. That Carolina Seal has posted three years of double-digit growth, Aliota says, "is a lot due to the awareness we've gained." He hires for strengths rather than résumés, and when necessary, he redeploys staff to create a better fit. His employees get more extensive training, and therefore, far more autonomy (Aliota took his first-ever two-week vacation this summer). Aliota begins and ends meetings with praise rather than criticism. And he has changed how he frames his mission. "We're a personal- and career-development company," he says. "It turns out the by-product is engineered rubber, metal, plastic, and foam."
POSITIVE PAYOFF

These ideas will no doubt ring a bell with anyone familiar with the work of humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow or any of the truckloads of pseudo-scientific career-coaching books. What makes positive psychology different, its proponents say, is a decade of clinical trials, making sometimes-controversial use of brain-scanning technology, that have measured and refined what happiness can do. They've looked at how much an upbeat mood, for example, reduces the time it takes a team of doctors to make a tricky diagnosis. They've found that a social worker will make twice as many visits to clients if he or she feels appreciated.

Positive psychology, in its current form, was born at the University of Pennsylvania in 1998, when Martin E.P. Seligman, then a Penn professor and president of the American Psychological Assn., made the study of positive emotion the theme of his tenure and developed a master's program for its study. Positive psychology caught fire, with Penn remaining the locus. In 2002, the University of Michigan's business school began offering PhDs in Positive Organizational Scholarship. In 2004, Case Western Reserve University began granting MBAs in Positive Organizational Development. Since then, hundreds of happiness-and-business researchers have taken on assignments at companies as various as Toyota Motor (TM), Ann Taylor Stores (ANN), BP's (BP) Castrol Marine, and Standard Chartered Bank, as well as the Scottish city of Glasgow and the U.S. Navy. Most graduates of Penn's master's program have fanned out to academia or big corporations. But a few, mostly from business-owning families, are taking the discipline to entrepreneurs.

Their argument is simple. A decade of research suggests that happiness at work—defined as pleasure, engagement, and a sense of meaning—can improve revenue, profitability, staff retention, customer loyalty, and workplace safety. Many of the studies are preliminary. They aren't cross-cultural or long-term. But they strongly suggest that postive emotion increases creativity and problem-solving ability and aids in fighting stress.

Cheery thoughts aren't for everyone all the time. Plenty of jobs require anxiety, pessimism, and even fear, researchers say. Airline pilots facing ice shouldn't be optimistic. Nor should accountants spotting fishy numbers, or regulators probing corruption. No research, however, suggests that a dour outlook helps entrepreneurs succeed. Aliota's coach, David J. Pollay, grew up working in his family's business and now heads The Momentum Project, a consulting firm in Ocean Ridge, Fla. For most entrepreneurs, Pollay says, "negativity is just not necessary."

True enough, some say, but that doesn't necessarily mean a focus on happiness is the answer, either. Such noted psychologists as Harvard University's Jerome Kagan, who has studied temperament for 50 years, caution that the psychology and biology of happiness are little understood and vary dramatically across time, cultures, and individuals. "A suicide bomber who's really committed to the cause feels very happy the moment before he blows himself up," Kagan says.

Causality is also a problem: Does being cooperative, engaged, and generous make an entrepreneur happy, or are naturally happy people just more cooperative, engaged, and generous? Another criticism, buttressed by studies of identical twins, is that people's general baseline temperament, or set point, is between 50% and 80% inherited, making it very difficult to change.

But this much seems certain: People can take control of certain actions that will make them happier for a time, such as setting appropriate goals. They can add gratitude, hope, and a dose of self-control to each working day. And it's clear that happy bosses perform measurably better, building productive teams and inspiring loyalty.
WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT?

Positive psychologists start by asking their clients to take a test that evaluates a person's strengths, on the premise that doing what we're best at naturally brings joy. Thirty years of Gallup surveys have found that the most successful companies are ones whose employees believe they get to do what they do best every day. (Only one-third of working people do.) Penn's test, which measures 24 attributes, is free online at viastrengths.org. Such an analysis can help entrepreneurs figure out the most productive uses of their time, but it can also be useful in hiring. Having a spectrum of strengths on staff is crucial for small and startup businesses, says Tom Rath, the head of Gallup's workplace research and consulting arm.

Once an entrepreneur knows his or her strengths, it's time to put them to use. That's what Melanie Morlan, owner of FirstBreathe.com, a wellness and athletic training company in Spokane, Wash., needed to do. She spent a decade working with the U.S. Olympic Committee and professional cyclists, including Lance Armstrong, before taking time out to raise her son. She wanted to reenter the workforce by building a larger consulting practice than she'd once had, offering nutrition counseling, coaching in weight loss and stress reduction, and building a Web site and blog. But she couldn't get started. "I'd get scared and set up roadblocks," she says, telling herself she'd never succeed and ignoring her to-do list. She eventually called on Senia Maymin, a coach and, like Pollay, a graduate of Seligman's program. Maymin also holds an MBA from Stanford University, and she knows family business and entrepreneurship firsthand, having worked alongside her father and brother at their hedge fund and co-founding three tech startups. Maymin helped Morlan exploit her strengths, of which creativity is first. So if Morlan lost a valuable client or made a bad decision, instead of spending the afternoon moping, she would turn to designing and building her Web site. "Creativity stimulates me," she says.
OFFER PRAISE

Even if emotional qualities do not show up among your top strengths, positive psychology coaches recommend trying to build stronger bonds with and among your staff. Barbara L. Fredrickson, a psychology professor at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, is studying the flip side of the adrenaline-fueled fight-or-flight response. She says an equal and opposite phenomenon occurred when our ancestors were content: Their brains flooded with with a stay-and-create chemical, possibly dopamine. Her theory is that while the anger-and-fear response kept us from being eaten alive, civilization's creations came about thanks to "happy" chemicals and what she calls the "broaden-and-build" state of mind they trigger. At work, that same reaction should make staffers more resilient in crises and more likely to be receptive to new ideas, while deepening collegial relationships and mutual respect. Despite the heavy theory involved, building stronger ties with those you work with can be as simple as offering abundant praise and recognition when appropriate; giving staff tailor-made rewards for performance; and letting them be themselves—maybe in the way they mark special occassions, maybe in the way they decorate their workspace.

Next in the consultants' toolkit is fostering appreciation. Studies suggest businesses succeed when their cultures are imbued with a sense of purpose—for owner and staff. Much work in that area has come from David L. Cooperrider, who heads the Center for Business as an Agent of World Benefit at Case Western Reserve University's Weatherhead School of Management. His workshop method, called Appreciative Inquiry, asks participants to reflect on, write about, and share aloud why their job and company matter. "There's a huge fusion of strengths, and every voice becomes part of designing the future of the company's business," says Cooperrider.
TRACKING RESULTS

If all this sounds too fuzzy for you, well, just speak with Juan Humberto Young, the founder of seven-person consulting firm Positive Decision Analysis, in Zürich. A positive psychology consultant and another Penn graduate, Young hears one criticism most: Positive psychology is too soft for numbers-obsessed business owners.

With a background running an asset restructuring unit at UBS, Young recognizes the importance of statistics. So every one of his clients measures his or her progress against customized metrics. An eight-store retail chain tracked its revenues—up 10% after three months. A bank watched its deposits rise 20%. And a hospital, long plagued by interpersonal conflicts, slow response times, and a backlog in the emergency room, saw the number of operations completed rise 8%. Young ties some of his firm's compensation to these results.

Even so, says Young, who teaches at Switzerland's prestigious University of St. Gallen, many still balk. When he worked at UBS, he recalls, even the craziest trading idea would get a serious hearing. But the idea that "to create appreciation will make you more efficient and profitable—that's very difficult for [clients] to hear."
INTO THE ZONE

The last piece of the puzzle relates to exercising power over the self. The father of this field, called "self-regulation," is Stanford's Albert Bandura, a pioneer on overcoming phobias and in designing disease prevention campaigns. Few would argue with the notion that change is difficult, but research suggests that if you can master self-discipline in something as seemingly inconsequential as your posture, it will seep into your work life.

Coach Maymin delves into this with her clients, many of whom seek her out when they are between ventures. She says that to be able to get routinely into the mental state that Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (pronounced "cheeks sent me high"), another founder of positive psychology, calls "flow"—complete absorption in a task—entrepreneurs must craft a workload that's challenging but not too tough. Its demands should fully use an entrepreneur's abilities, the same way endurance athletes train just at their physical limit. "In the athletic domain, everyone can see it," she says. Psychologically, too, "self-regulation is a muscle you can train over time." She assigns her clients a small, daily exercise challenge each week, based on research that says if you accustom your body to pushing just past its comfort zone toward ever-retreating goals, "you can do the exact same thing in your company"—push past your comfort zone and achieve goals once thought to be out of reach.

Including, perhaps, smoothing out a messy merger. CargoWise EDI was, until 2006, a 50-person software company in Mount Prospect, Ill., serving the freight-forwarding industry. Founder and then-President Cris Arens called for a psychology coach after a combination with an Australian counterpart quadrupled its size, bruised egos, turned longtime policies and procedures upside down, and dashed morale. During Christmas 2006, Pollay ran a daylong seminar to get CargoWise's top U.S. employees to appreciate their individual strengths and find common purpose. They recalled when they were at their best. They thought about the company's wider purpose: creating jobs that support hundreds of families; cooperating while doing something they enjoy; producing useful products that facilitate commerce. None of it was groundbreaking, but employees didn't usually articulate these things. They talked about negative forces that were beyond their control and vowed not to be derailed by them.

"We're from the freight industry, so there was a lot of cynicism," says Arens, who calls himself "a blue-collar, down-to-earth person." But he also says the boost to morale was palpable. He brought Pollay back the next year to train the rest of the North American team. Now he's using the same techniques at HarneTech, his new green-building certification company.

Aliota at Carolina Seal says happiness science has led him to make lasting changes. For one, he regularly recalls and dissects his moments of entrepreneurial triumph, "times when I was truly in the zone, utilizing my natural strengths and having fun" as a sort of happiness fuel. One such moment came during a visit by respresentatives of a maker of giant water purification systems. Escorting the visitors on a tour of his newly renovated industrial facility, he introduced the whole staff by name. He shared the story of building the business up from two plastic shelves in his garage. He queried his prospects about their needs. During lunch, they connected over family and community matters. When Aliota and his prospects shook hands in the parking lot, the guests said they were ready to sign a deal—during a break, they'd canceled visits to two of Aliota's competitors.

Return to the BW SmallBiz Feb/March 2009 Table of Contents

Jill Hamburg Coplan writes about topics including finance, family, and religion, and teaches journalism at New York University. She has been a regular freelance contributor to BusinessWeek since 2000.
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