Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Church of Open Mind
Saturday night a very dear friend invited me for drinks. This particular friend is a woman of great substance and has done extremely well, spiritually; financially and intellectually. She had invited a few friends and each one was pretty much on top of their game, but not without their fair share of pain, sadness and desires.
The conversation that ensued the wine took an interesting turn and veered towards religion, logic, dogma and fanaticism. The question that came about was, why do highly intelligent; highly analytical people who question everything and anything in life take 2000 year old religious teachings at face value? These are the same people who will turn everything and question it and try and come to cognitive conclusions, but when it comes to faith they follow blindly what has been laid down .
We no more question the geometry of earth. For the longest time it was believed that the earth was flat and now the whole idea seems ludicrous. No one thought that we could fly in air and now we fly at supersonic speeds and of course how can we deny the internet that has opened our minds to inconceivable ideas. Then why are we still stuck in the religious relics? Why do people still try and convince each other to conform to their religious ideologies? Why do they denigrate another’s faith and try and impose their own on the others. Why do some people follow blindly the traditions and teachings that were laid down thousands of years ago?
Rather interesting questions, but very dangerous when combined with alcohol and testosterone.
As is rightly said, never combine alcohol with a discussion about religion and politics. Fortunately the conversation did not reach a point of no return. In fact it ended in a very civilized manner talking about acceptance of interfaith and being open minded about faith.
I guess this was because each one of us was coming a place of acceptance and although we could have all indulged in intellectual masturbation and put forth our points of view we decided to let go and enjoy the wine instead.
However when I got home and started thinking about the questions, it did dawn on me that we are all extremely tightly married to our idea of religion and GOD. We often believe in the superiority of one GOD over another and try and impose our faith and beliefs on another. After all there is power in numbers and the more people who think like me the better!
Isn’t that strange that we go out shopping for shoes and try many pairs before deciding which one, but when it comes to faith we allow ourselves to be swayed by others .
One size does not fit all so why not try what works for you. 6.5 billion People in this world. Can you imagine the confusion and ridiculousness if all looked the same, ate the same, spoke the same and wore the same, so why do we become so parochial when someone from another faith shares his or her beliefs with us.
Any faith that makes you happy and brings joy to you and to the people around you is a faith you should follow. Be it Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Shiva, Nanak, Buddha, Amun, Ra, Zeus, Aphrodite, Apollo, Sun, Moon, water, etc.
How does it matter who or what you believe in if it makes you a better person. (I know that the definition of a better person stands to debate, but I shall, leave that for another time)
There is no denying that the basis of religion is love and compassion, but what happens to the love and compassion when someone disagrees with another’s faith. The very people who preach unconditional love and acceptance pick up arms and get ready to kill and we conveniently call it faith killing. What gives anyone the right?
I just spoke to friend on the phone and discussed with him the idea of a church of open mind and he very rightly pointed out that people who want you to follow their faith are doing it out of love for you. Because they have been saved by their particular faith they want you to partake in that joy and happiness. In a way it is an expression of their love for you and by denying their advances you are rejecting their love.
He is probably right. Is it not true that when we experience something wonderful we feel like sharing it with our loved ones? I remember having had an amazing dessert in a restaurant and insisted on ordering the same for my husband, but sadly he is not a chocolate fan and he did not find it as mouth watering, finger licking good as I had painted it to be. Of course I got offended! How could he not love what I thought was the best dessert in the world? He preferred an apple turnover over warm chocolate melted cake. Just the thought of the cake is enough to take me to orgasmic delight, but here he was rejecting it completely and preferring the apple turnover.
Did I kill him over his choice of dessert?
Much as I would have liked to (for other reasons than the desert ;-) ) I did not and he lives to tell.
Then why do we always expect the other person to love the same GOD/faith? Isn’t life wonderful because of the diversity in all its color and richness?
If something or someone works for you go after it, share it, talk about it but be open minded enough that they may prefer something else. Just because they have a different call connection does not mean they cannot dial GOD directly. Imagine the confusion at GOD’s home if there was only one number to call. We would be put on hold for ever.
Find you direct connection with GOD and follow your own heart. Seek help if and when it is offered.
At times we are to weak and vulnerable to really find the strength, so if friends and well wishers are offering you their way of salvation, accept it , but then really go within yourself to find the answers you seek . The answer lies within and all you need to do is listen to it in silence.
Luv/luck/Happiness
The conversation that ensued the wine took an interesting turn and veered towards religion, logic, dogma and fanaticism. The question that came about was, why do highly intelligent; highly analytical people who question everything and anything in life take 2000 year old religious teachings at face value? These are the same people who will turn everything and question it and try and come to cognitive conclusions, but when it comes to faith they follow blindly what has been laid down .
We no more question the geometry of earth. For the longest time it was believed that the earth was flat and now the whole idea seems ludicrous. No one thought that we could fly in air and now we fly at supersonic speeds and of course how can we deny the internet that has opened our minds to inconceivable ideas. Then why are we still stuck in the religious relics? Why do people still try and convince each other to conform to their religious ideologies? Why do they denigrate another’s faith and try and impose their own on the others. Why do some people follow blindly the traditions and teachings that were laid down thousands of years ago?
Rather interesting questions, but very dangerous when combined with alcohol and testosterone.
As is rightly said, never combine alcohol with a discussion about religion and politics. Fortunately the conversation did not reach a point of no return. In fact it ended in a very civilized manner talking about acceptance of interfaith and being open minded about faith.
I guess this was because each one of us was coming a place of acceptance and although we could have all indulged in intellectual masturbation and put forth our points of view we decided to let go and enjoy the wine instead.
However when I got home and started thinking about the questions, it did dawn on me that we are all extremely tightly married to our idea of religion and GOD. We often believe in the superiority of one GOD over another and try and impose our faith and beliefs on another. After all there is power in numbers and the more people who think like me the better!
Isn’t that strange that we go out shopping for shoes and try many pairs before deciding which one, but when it comes to faith we allow ourselves to be swayed by others .
One size does not fit all so why not try what works for you. 6.5 billion People in this world. Can you imagine the confusion and ridiculousness if all looked the same, ate the same, spoke the same and wore the same, so why do we become so parochial when someone from another faith shares his or her beliefs with us.
Any faith that makes you happy and brings joy to you and to the people around you is a faith you should follow. Be it Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Shiva, Nanak, Buddha, Amun, Ra, Zeus, Aphrodite, Apollo, Sun, Moon, water, etc.
How does it matter who or what you believe in if it makes you a better person. (I know that the definition of a better person stands to debate, but I shall, leave that for another time)
There is no denying that the basis of religion is love and compassion, but what happens to the love and compassion when someone disagrees with another’s faith. The very people who preach unconditional love and acceptance pick up arms and get ready to kill and we conveniently call it faith killing. What gives anyone the right?
I just spoke to friend on the phone and discussed with him the idea of a church of open mind and he very rightly pointed out that people who want you to follow their faith are doing it out of love for you. Because they have been saved by their particular faith they want you to partake in that joy and happiness. In a way it is an expression of their love for you and by denying their advances you are rejecting their love.
He is probably right. Is it not true that when we experience something wonderful we feel like sharing it with our loved ones? I remember having had an amazing dessert in a restaurant and insisted on ordering the same for my husband, but sadly he is not a chocolate fan and he did not find it as mouth watering, finger licking good as I had painted it to be. Of course I got offended! How could he not love what I thought was the best dessert in the world? He preferred an apple turnover over warm chocolate melted cake. Just the thought of the cake is enough to take me to orgasmic delight, but here he was rejecting it completely and preferring the apple turnover.
Did I kill him over his choice of dessert?
Much as I would have liked to (for other reasons than the desert ;-) ) I did not and he lives to tell.
Then why do we always expect the other person to love the same GOD/faith? Isn’t life wonderful because of the diversity in all its color and richness?
If something or someone works for you go after it, share it, talk about it but be open minded enough that they may prefer something else. Just because they have a different call connection does not mean they cannot dial GOD directly. Imagine the confusion at GOD’s home if there was only one number to call. We would be put on hold for ever.
Find you direct connection with GOD and follow your own heart. Seek help if and when it is offered.
At times we are to weak and vulnerable to really find the strength, so if friends and well wishers are offering you their way of salvation, accept it , but then really go within yourself to find the answers you seek . The answer lies within and all you need to do is listen to it in silence.
Luv/luck/Happiness
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
It’s OK to be SAD!
About two years ago I was given a book titled “Happy for no reason” by Marci Shimoff. It went on to become a best seller and sold over 25 million copies. Happiness has become a rather serious subject and I must admit that I too have joined the bandwagon of happiness researchers and am a huge proponent of Positive Psychology (the legitimate child of positive thinking). I have been researching, practicing and preaching happiness for the last 5 years and have looked into pretty much every aspect of positivity and happiness. Having delved into the psychological, the spiritual, the philosophical, the scientific and the inexplicable new age theories, I thought I had covered every aspect of “Happiness”.
But yesterday try as I might I could not feel happy, and then I realized that this was not the first time I was experiencing such emotions.
I thought to myself could I be Sad for no reason?
I woke up feeling rather down. I felt that I was wasting my life and not really striving hard enough to reach my not yet defined goals! I felt like a failure and wondered if I would ever follow through on my desires and commitments. I wondered if I was all talk and no action and one negative thought led to another.
I started to question my role as a mother and a wife. I started looking for reasons that made me feel that I was not being a good wife or a good mother and then of course I started to wonder if it was my husband who was in the wrong. All possible explanations and justifications started to hone into my psyche.
Next I knew, I was crying and missing my deceased parents and lamenting over lost loves and lost opportunities. This was getting pretty serious.
All my years of search for happiness had come to naught.
I don’t know what inspired me to do what I did, but it seemed to have worked wonders. I shared my sad status on face book and within a few minutes there were amazing messages sending me hugs, smiles, love and encouraging me and complimenting me on my achievements. I suddenly started to feel better and felt loved and appreciated. Many shared their own experiences and made me realize that it was OK to be Sad. After all I was human and well within the confines of sanity.
All at once I was being reminded of all the things that I had been suggesting for the past few years on how to get out of a funk and pull oneself out of sadness. Although I had no major underlying cause to make me sad, I was still feeling pretty miserable. I somehow could not bring myself to practice what I had been preaching.
This was a huge reality check. Here I was with no major issues and still feeling sorry for myself. What if there really was a major reason for my sadness; such as hearing about a life threatening illness, losing a loved one, being fired from a job and having kids to feed, and so on… …Would positive thinking still help?
I seriously doubt that thinking and denying the reality of a painful situation would make the problem go away.
So, what is one to do?
Should we keep going down the abyss of sadness and pain and allow it to expand or try and nip it in the bud? Should we go into denial and paint a rosy picture and refuse to face reality?
I could not come up with an answer, so I decided to go for a walk instead.
I picked up my iPod, put on my headphones, turned the volume really loud and started to walk. About 15 minutes later I was feeling a bit clear headed. Then I saw a group of gardeners beautifying a roundabout. They were diligently de-weeding the garden. I stood there watching. I saw them take out the weeds, prune the flowers, put in the fertilizer and move on to the next patch. What was interesting was that the maximum time was spent de weeding! Apparently, gardening is five percent planting; 10 percent watering, fertilizing and pruning; and 75 percent fighting weeds.
Isn’t that interesting?
Even nature needs help to sustain its beauty and perfection. If allowed to run rampant weeds would take over and we would not see the wonderful flowers bloom.
There was my answer.
Of course, one cannot deny the existence of sad events. Things will go wrong from time to time. Life is not a bed of roses; it comes with its thorns and weeds. Just as a beautiful rose is accompanied by spiky thorns, life comes forth with its ups and downs.
Just as a gardener spends 75 percent of his/her time de –weeding, it becomes our responsibility to de-weed and prune the garden of our thoughts.
So getting back to my original question; Is it OK to be Sad?
Of course it is OK to be sad; we would not be human if we did not experience the rainbow of emotions. What is not OK is to allow the sad/negative thoughts to run amok and take over our lives. Often we keep over analyzing a situation instead of accepting and then facing it with courage and determination.
Sadness just like happiness is a part of our reality and will appear from time to time. What we need to be aware of is how to keep it in check and how to de-weed it from our thoughts?
So de-weed your mental garden often.
A few suggestions that worked for me
Share your sadness and be ready to take help if offered….. ( thank you facebook and Myspace)
Indulge in some sort of Physical activity preferably something you enjoy.
Listen to your favorite music….
Get a foot or a head massage, better if you can use some uplifting aroma oil
Start writing or thinking of all the wonderful things that are still around. Force yourself to come up with at least 3….
Go on a rampage of appreciation. Start listing everything that is going well in your life……
If you have children, play with them….
Go to your wardrobe and pick out something that makes you look good, wear it and admire yourself in the mirror….
Get a hair style change…..
Drink lots of water and eat a banana….
Go on feel sad, but remember to not stay sad for too long, lest the de-weeding becomes too hard.
Luv/luck/Happiness
Shveita Sethi Sharma.
But yesterday try as I might I could not feel happy, and then I realized that this was not the first time I was experiencing such emotions.
I thought to myself could I be Sad for no reason?
I woke up feeling rather down. I felt that I was wasting my life and not really striving hard enough to reach my not yet defined goals! I felt like a failure and wondered if I would ever follow through on my desires and commitments. I wondered if I was all talk and no action and one negative thought led to another.
I started to question my role as a mother and a wife. I started looking for reasons that made me feel that I was not being a good wife or a good mother and then of course I started to wonder if it was my husband who was in the wrong. All possible explanations and justifications started to hone into my psyche.
Next I knew, I was crying and missing my deceased parents and lamenting over lost loves and lost opportunities. This was getting pretty serious.
All my years of search for happiness had come to naught.
I don’t know what inspired me to do what I did, but it seemed to have worked wonders. I shared my sad status on face book and within a few minutes there were amazing messages sending me hugs, smiles, love and encouraging me and complimenting me on my achievements. I suddenly started to feel better and felt loved and appreciated. Many shared their own experiences and made me realize that it was OK to be Sad. After all I was human and well within the confines of sanity.
All at once I was being reminded of all the things that I had been suggesting for the past few years on how to get out of a funk and pull oneself out of sadness. Although I had no major underlying cause to make me sad, I was still feeling pretty miserable. I somehow could not bring myself to practice what I had been preaching.
This was a huge reality check. Here I was with no major issues and still feeling sorry for myself. What if there really was a major reason for my sadness; such as hearing about a life threatening illness, losing a loved one, being fired from a job and having kids to feed, and so on… …Would positive thinking still help?
I seriously doubt that thinking and denying the reality of a painful situation would make the problem go away.
So, what is one to do?
Should we keep going down the abyss of sadness and pain and allow it to expand or try and nip it in the bud? Should we go into denial and paint a rosy picture and refuse to face reality?
I could not come up with an answer, so I decided to go for a walk instead.
I picked up my iPod, put on my headphones, turned the volume really loud and started to walk. About 15 minutes later I was feeling a bit clear headed. Then I saw a group of gardeners beautifying a roundabout. They were diligently de-weeding the garden. I stood there watching. I saw them take out the weeds, prune the flowers, put in the fertilizer and move on to the next patch. What was interesting was that the maximum time was spent de weeding! Apparently, gardening is five percent planting; 10 percent watering, fertilizing and pruning; and 75 percent fighting weeds.
Isn’t that interesting?
Even nature needs help to sustain its beauty and perfection. If allowed to run rampant weeds would take over and we would not see the wonderful flowers bloom.
There was my answer.
Of course, one cannot deny the existence of sad events. Things will go wrong from time to time. Life is not a bed of roses; it comes with its thorns and weeds. Just as a beautiful rose is accompanied by spiky thorns, life comes forth with its ups and downs.
Just as a gardener spends 75 percent of his/her time de –weeding, it becomes our responsibility to de-weed and prune the garden of our thoughts.
So getting back to my original question; Is it OK to be Sad?
Of course it is OK to be sad; we would not be human if we did not experience the rainbow of emotions. What is not OK is to allow the sad/negative thoughts to run amok and take over our lives. Often we keep over analyzing a situation instead of accepting and then facing it with courage and determination.
Sadness just like happiness is a part of our reality and will appear from time to time. What we need to be aware of is how to keep it in check and how to de-weed it from our thoughts?
So de-weed your mental garden often.
A few suggestions that worked for me
Share your sadness and be ready to take help if offered….. ( thank you facebook and Myspace)
Indulge in some sort of Physical activity preferably something you enjoy.
Listen to your favorite music….
Get a foot or a head massage, better if you can use some uplifting aroma oil
Start writing or thinking of all the wonderful things that are still around. Force yourself to come up with at least 3….
Go on a rampage of appreciation. Start listing everything that is going well in your life……
If you have children, play with them….
Go to your wardrobe and pick out something that makes you look good, wear it and admire yourself in the mirror….
Get a hair style change…..
Drink lots of water and eat a banana….
Go on feel sad, but remember to not stay sad for too long, lest the de-weeding becomes too hard.
Luv/luck/Happiness
Shveita Sethi Sharma.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Climb your way to happiness
I must have driven past the rock climbing wall at the YMCA a few hundred times, but not till yesterday did I notice a group of climbers hauling themselves up.
I stopped my car and stood outside watching with great curiosity how the climbers were trying to reach for the artificial stones to find the right protrusion to support their hands and feet. The moment they found something that they could hold on to, they hauled the rope over and pulled themselves up to the next higher point.
I stood there awestruck at the grace and agility with which these climbers were moving from one stone to another. When I saw the huge straight wall I wondered why do people subject themselves to such pain and anguish in the name of sport. Vicarious pleasure was good enough for me. I had no intention of trying it for myself!
Ten minutes later I was back in my car driving to the club to catch up with a friend and a cool glass of wine.
As we were sitting at the bar, my friend told me that her husband had lost his job and they would have to move out of their house to smaller house and she may have to change the children’s school.
She was upset and really scared that her husband was going into a state of depression. He was starting to blame himself for not seeing it coming and berating himself at not being the ideal husband/father. He was being extremely hard on himself.
She on the other hand was trying to be optimistic and encouraging him to look at the various options. Even though she was upset, she was handling it quite well. Being a student of Vedanta and Positive Psychology had given her the inner strength to cope with external turmoil.
Her husband on the other hand had spent all his time building up his career and the lifestyle. His self worth was totally dependent on his net worth. The very thought of not being able to support his family in the manner they had gotten used to was making him extremely nervous and all he could focus was on the lack that was apparent.
We chatted for a while and then I shared with her my observation of the rock climbing wall.
When one is standing at ground level and staring at the wall/huge rock, the odds of climbing seem insurmountable. All one needs to do is take the first step, find that first footing and haul him/her- self up to the next safe point. You need to let go of the previous protrusion to safely hang on to the next. You cannot continue to hold on to the first and hope to reach the top. Only when you let go can you find the next safe footing.
She understood the analogy and we agreed that I would meet with her husband and share some thoughts and see if we could help him with the transition to a new life.
This is how the dialogue went. Let’s call him Jack.
“Hi Jack” ,
“Hey Shveitta, what’s up, All well?”
“Yup all wonderful, but hey I am sorry to hear about the job” .
“Yes that was a bit of a bummer, I sort of expected it, but never really thought it would happen. Those bas….. have no idea who they have let go. They will regret it to the hilt.”
(This was good. His sadness was now turning into anger. On a vibrational scale* anger is better than guilt and shame. )
He went on to use some expletives to describe his employer and how he had been wronged and how he would get even.
Underneath this entire macho charade I could however see the pain and sadness in his eyes. He was very afraid and very insecure.
I ordered us two glasses of red wine, even though alcohol is a depressant and not really recommended during therapy, in this case it seemed appropriate (we were not in therapy…we were in a bar) as it really helped Jack lower his inhibitions and really come forth with his pain and fear of survival.
It’s quite interesting how the male and female brain is wired. The Human male is generally more left brained while the female tends to adopt a more right brain approach.
Left Brain
Logical
Sequential
Rational
Analytical
Objective
Looks at parts
Right Brain
Random
Intuitive
Holistic
Synthesizing
Subjective
Looks at wholes
Jack’s logical, sequential, rational, objective brain could not see the big picture. All he could focus on was the loss of the job that would lead to a loss of life style. He felt worthless and started to visualize scenarios where he felt unwanted and useless. Suddenly all his accomplishments meant nothing. He started to focus on all the things that could go wrong with this one event. Suddenly he transformed into a psychic and started seeing his ‘self created’ very bleak future.
However at this stage the only thing that he had lost was his job and that too with 6 month pay intact. He had bonuses and stock options with his company that he could cash in and live extremely comfortably for many years to come.
But his ‘part focused’ brain refused to see and acknowledge that this was in some strange way the opportunity that he had been waiting for. He would finally get to spend time with his family, indulge in his various passions, cooking being the main one and finally take that trip to Tibet.
If one changes the color of the glasses the whole picture changes.
Like the rock climber who focuses only on one step at a time, one need’s to keep in sight only the things that can help pull oneself out of the quagmire.
The glass of wine had helped us both. Before I got ready to order another one Jack and I did an exercise.
I asked him to right down on a piece of paper all the things that were going well in his life. As he started writing and his list became longer and longer he realized that he had a lot going for him and his job was such a minor part of his life. It really was not the job that he missed; it was the meaning that he had given to the job. Now he had to find that meaning in his life.
What really is the meaning of life?
Now that’s a whole new chapter
Luv/luck/happiness
Shveitta Sethi Sharma
See below for the vibrational scale explanation……………………..
In his book Power vs Force, David Hawkins calibrates people's emotions from vibrational levels 20 to 1,000 with anything below 200 considered energy draining and below integrity.
Here's some of the levels:
• 20 = Shame: A perilously proximate to death. It's destructive to emotional and psychological health, and makes us prone to physical illness.
• 30 = Guilt
• 75 = Grief
• 100 = Fear
• 175 = Pride: People feel positive as they reach Pride level. However Pride feels good only in contrast to the lower levels. Pride is defensive and vulnerable because it's dependent upon external conditions, without which is can suddenly revert to a lower level.
• 200 = Power: Courage is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination. People at this level put back into the world as much energy as they take; at the lower levels, populations as well as individuals drain energy from society without reciprocating.
• 310 = Willingness
• 350 = Acceptance
• 500 = Love: This level is characterized by the development of a Love that is unconditional, unchanging, and permanent. It doesn't fluctuate - its source isn't dependent on external factors. Loving is a state of being. This is the level of true happiness.
• 700 to 1,000 = Enlightenment: This is the level of the Great Ones such as Krishna, Buddha and Jesus. It is the peak of the evolutionary consciousness in the human realm.
The concept and theories behind these experiments were conducted over a twenty-year period using a variety of Kinesiology tests and examinations. Kinesiology has an almost certain 100 percent accuracy reading every time. It will always reveal Yes, No, True, and False answers.
Collective Consciousness: These experiments reveal that there is a higher power that connects everything and everyone.
Everything calibrates at certain levels from weak to high including books, food, water, clothes, people, animals, buildings, cars, movies, sports, music, etc.
Did You Know
• 85 percent of the human race calibrates below the critical vibrational thought level of 200.
• The overall average level of human consciousness stands at the vibrational level of 207.
• The power of the few individuals at the top counterbalances the weakness of the masses.
• 1 individual at level 300 counterbalances 90,000 individuals below level 200.
• 1 individual at level 500 counterbalances 750,000 individuals below level 200.
• 1 individual at level 700 counterbalances 70 million individuals below level 200.
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I stopped my car and stood outside watching with great curiosity how the climbers were trying to reach for the artificial stones to find the right protrusion to support their hands and feet. The moment they found something that they could hold on to, they hauled the rope over and pulled themselves up to the next higher point.
I stood there awestruck at the grace and agility with which these climbers were moving from one stone to another. When I saw the huge straight wall I wondered why do people subject themselves to such pain and anguish in the name of sport. Vicarious pleasure was good enough for me. I had no intention of trying it for myself!
Ten minutes later I was back in my car driving to the club to catch up with a friend and a cool glass of wine.
As we were sitting at the bar, my friend told me that her husband had lost his job and they would have to move out of their house to smaller house and she may have to change the children’s school.
She was upset and really scared that her husband was going into a state of depression. He was starting to blame himself for not seeing it coming and berating himself at not being the ideal husband/father. He was being extremely hard on himself.
She on the other hand was trying to be optimistic and encouraging him to look at the various options. Even though she was upset, she was handling it quite well. Being a student of Vedanta and Positive Psychology had given her the inner strength to cope with external turmoil.
Her husband on the other hand had spent all his time building up his career and the lifestyle. His self worth was totally dependent on his net worth. The very thought of not being able to support his family in the manner they had gotten used to was making him extremely nervous and all he could focus was on the lack that was apparent.
We chatted for a while and then I shared with her my observation of the rock climbing wall.
When one is standing at ground level and staring at the wall/huge rock, the odds of climbing seem insurmountable. All one needs to do is take the first step, find that first footing and haul him/her- self up to the next safe point. You need to let go of the previous protrusion to safely hang on to the next. You cannot continue to hold on to the first and hope to reach the top. Only when you let go can you find the next safe footing.
She understood the analogy and we agreed that I would meet with her husband and share some thoughts and see if we could help him with the transition to a new life.
This is how the dialogue went. Let’s call him Jack.
“Hi Jack” ,
“Hey Shveitta, what’s up, All well?”
“Yup all wonderful, but hey I am sorry to hear about the job” .
“Yes that was a bit of a bummer, I sort of expected it, but never really thought it would happen. Those bas….. have no idea who they have let go. They will regret it to the hilt.”
(This was good. His sadness was now turning into anger. On a vibrational scale* anger is better than guilt and shame. )
He went on to use some expletives to describe his employer and how he had been wronged and how he would get even.
Underneath this entire macho charade I could however see the pain and sadness in his eyes. He was very afraid and very insecure.
I ordered us two glasses of red wine, even though alcohol is a depressant and not really recommended during therapy, in this case it seemed appropriate (we were not in therapy…we were in a bar) as it really helped Jack lower his inhibitions and really come forth with his pain and fear of survival.
It’s quite interesting how the male and female brain is wired. The Human male is generally more left brained while the female tends to adopt a more right brain approach.
Left Brain
Logical
Sequential
Rational
Analytical
Objective
Looks at parts
Right Brain
Random
Intuitive
Holistic
Synthesizing
Subjective
Looks at wholes
Jack’s logical, sequential, rational, objective brain could not see the big picture. All he could focus on was the loss of the job that would lead to a loss of life style. He felt worthless and started to visualize scenarios where he felt unwanted and useless. Suddenly all his accomplishments meant nothing. He started to focus on all the things that could go wrong with this one event. Suddenly he transformed into a psychic and started seeing his ‘self created’ very bleak future.
However at this stage the only thing that he had lost was his job and that too with 6 month pay intact. He had bonuses and stock options with his company that he could cash in and live extremely comfortably for many years to come.
But his ‘part focused’ brain refused to see and acknowledge that this was in some strange way the opportunity that he had been waiting for. He would finally get to spend time with his family, indulge in his various passions, cooking being the main one and finally take that trip to Tibet.
If one changes the color of the glasses the whole picture changes.
Like the rock climber who focuses only on one step at a time, one need’s to keep in sight only the things that can help pull oneself out of the quagmire.
The glass of wine had helped us both. Before I got ready to order another one Jack and I did an exercise.
I asked him to right down on a piece of paper all the things that were going well in his life. As he started writing and his list became longer and longer he realized that he had a lot going for him and his job was such a minor part of his life. It really was not the job that he missed; it was the meaning that he had given to the job. Now he had to find that meaning in his life.
What really is the meaning of life?
Now that’s a whole new chapter
Luv/luck/happiness
Shveitta Sethi Sharma
See below for the vibrational scale explanation……………………..
In his book Power vs Force, David Hawkins calibrates people's emotions from vibrational levels 20 to 1,000 with anything below 200 considered energy draining and below integrity.
Here's some of the levels:
• 20 = Shame: A perilously proximate to death. It's destructive to emotional and psychological health, and makes us prone to physical illness.
• 30 = Guilt
• 75 = Grief
• 100 = Fear
• 175 = Pride: People feel positive as they reach Pride level. However Pride feels good only in contrast to the lower levels. Pride is defensive and vulnerable because it's dependent upon external conditions, without which is can suddenly revert to a lower level.
• 200 = Power: Courage is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination. People at this level put back into the world as much energy as they take; at the lower levels, populations as well as individuals drain energy from society without reciprocating.
• 310 = Willingness
• 350 = Acceptance
• 500 = Love: This level is characterized by the development of a Love that is unconditional, unchanging, and permanent. It doesn't fluctuate - its source isn't dependent on external factors. Loving is a state of being. This is the level of true happiness.
• 700 to 1,000 = Enlightenment: This is the level of the Great Ones such as Krishna, Buddha and Jesus. It is the peak of the evolutionary consciousness in the human realm.
The concept and theories behind these experiments were conducted over a twenty-year period using a variety of Kinesiology tests and examinations. Kinesiology has an almost certain 100 percent accuracy reading every time. It will always reveal Yes, No, True, and False answers.
Collective Consciousness: These experiments reveal that there is a higher power that connects everything and everyone.
Everything calibrates at certain levels from weak to high including books, food, water, clothes, people, animals, buildings, cars, movies, sports, music, etc.
Did You Know
• 85 percent of the human race calibrates below the critical vibrational thought level of 200.
• The overall average level of human consciousness stands at the vibrational level of 207.
• The power of the few individuals at the top counterbalances the weakness of the masses.
• 1 individual at level 300 counterbalances 90,000 individuals below level 200.
• 1 individual at level 500 counterbalances 750,000 individuals below level 200.
• 1 individual at level 700 counterbalances 70 million individuals below level 200.
.Updated 6 minutes ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike
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Monday, May 17, 2010
Natural remedies for mild depression
I recently gave a talk on how to lead a happier more fulfilling life to a gathering of over a 100 people and one of the questions that came about was about depression.
Q. Does one need to seek medical help if one is suffering from depression?
A. Of course by all means one should seek help if one feels that he or she is suffering from depression. Often we don’t know whether the cause of depression is clinical or environmental. If the cause is clinical, medical intervention is necessary.
In some cases an external factor, such as a loss of relationship, child, job, health may lead to extreme sadness which if not checked in time will lead to depression. It is therefore imperative that we try and pull the person who is going through extreme pain/sadness out of his or her misery.
Living with a person who is going through depression can be very distressing and often as a means of self preservation we tend to repudiate their feelings by trying to tell them to snap out of it. For those of us who are not experiencing the same emotion it is unfathomable how a person can be so low and not have jest for life. When such a situation occurs we need to adopt a caring attitude instead of becoming judgmental.
People often end up in depression because they blame themselves for a particular outcome. They feel if they had done things differently the particular outcome could have been avoided. Anger and guilt towards the self is what leads to depression. For this situation to be avoided it is important that we as well wishers support the aggrieved person in any way we can.
A listening ear and a supportive attitude do wonders.
Try and gently insist on some kind of physical exercise. It helps if you can accompany them on the exercise regime. Long walks in nature do wonders for both the body and the spirit. Walk with awareness and appreciation. Try and get out of the mind and bring a child like wonder into the walk. Look out for butterflies and notice the smell in the air. Take long and deep breaths and thank your body for being alive. Regular exercise is one of the most effective and inexpensive ways to improve mood. Exercise, particularly aerobic exercise, releases mood-elevating chemicals in the brain and can decrease stress hormones. Even though one of the best options to bust the blues is taking a brisk walk outside each morning for at least 30 minutes five days a week, what's important is that they choose something they enjoy and will stick with, whether it's going to the gym, signing up for dance classes, playing tennis, or gardening.
The added advantage of morning walks is getting enough sunlight which has been shown to be effective for seasonal mood changes that happen in the darker winter months. Exposure to light in the morning helps the body's sleep/wake cycle work properly. Production of serotonin, a brain chemical that is key in influencing our mood, is turned on in the morning upon exposure to light.
Involve them in various activities; take them out for light movies/comedies/concerts.
Add omega 3 fatty acids and St. Johns wort in their dietary supplements. Omega-3 fatty acids are a type of good fat needed for normal brain function. Our bodies can't make omega-3s on their own, so we must obtain them through our diet. Studies have linked depression with low dietary intake of omega-3 fatty acids.
The herb St. John's wort (Hypericum perforatum) has long been used in folk medicine for sadness, worry, nervousness, and poor sleep. Today, the results of over 20 clinical trials suggest that St. John's wort works better than a placebo and is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression, with fewer side effects. Studies suggest that St. John's wort is not effective for major depression. It's available at health food stores, drug stores, and online in the form of capsules, tablets, liquid extracts, or tea.
St. John's wort may take 4 to 6 weeks to notice the full effects. Side effects may include dizziness, dry mouth, indigestion, and fatigue. St. John's wort increases photosensitivity, so extra caution should be taken to protect skin and eyes from sunlight. Although St. John's wort appears to be reasonably safe when taken alone, it can interfere with the effectiveness of prescription and over-the-counter drugs, such as antidepressants, drugs to treat HIV infections and AIDs, drugs to prevent organ rejection for transplant patients, and oral contraceptives.
St. John's wort is not recommended for pregnant or nursing women, children, or people with bipolar disorder, liver or kidney disease.
Magnesium and vitamin B6 are also natural mood lifters.
Create an atmosphere of joy and happiness, but I understand that in some cases of extreme loss, this may not be possible. What I recommend is to have soft music and some sort of aroma (lavender, jasmine, rose and clary sage have been found to be beneficial) in their place of abode. Certain musical frequencies, especially mantras have a very uplifting effect.
Always remember that if a person is really depressed, he or she will need to see a qualified person. The above are just a few things that we can do to help our loved ones come out of extreme sadness or pain caused by an external factor.
Love/luck/happiness
Shveitta Sethi Sharma
Q. Does one need to seek medical help if one is suffering from depression?
A. Of course by all means one should seek help if one feels that he or she is suffering from depression. Often we don’t know whether the cause of depression is clinical or environmental. If the cause is clinical, medical intervention is necessary.
In some cases an external factor, such as a loss of relationship, child, job, health may lead to extreme sadness which if not checked in time will lead to depression. It is therefore imperative that we try and pull the person who is going through extreme pain/sadness out of his or her misery.
Living with a person who is going through depression can be very distressing and often as a means of self preservation we tend to repudiate their feelings by trying to tell them to snap out of it. For those of us who are not experiencing the same emotion it is unfathomable how a person can be so low and not have jest for life. When such a situation occurs we need to adopt a caring attitude instead of becoming judgmental.
People often end up in depression because they blame themselves for a particular outcome. They feel if they had done things differently the particular outcome could have been avoided. Anger and guilt towards the self is what leads to depression. For this situation to be avoided it is important that we as well wishers support the aggrieved person in any way we can.
A listening ear and a supportive attitude do wonders.
Try and gently insist on some kind of physical exercise. It helps if you can accompany them on the exercise regime. Long walks in nature do wonders for both the body and the spirit. Walk with awareness and appreciation. Try and get out of the mind and bring a child like wonder into the walk. Look out for butterflies and notice the smell in the air. Take long and deep breaths and thank your body for being alive. Regular exercise is one of the most effective and inexpensive ways to improve mood. Exercise, particularly aerobic exercise, releases mood-elevating chemicals in the brain and can decrease stress hormones. Even though one of the best options to bust the blues is taking a brisk walk outside each morning for at least 30 minutes five days a week, what's important is that they choose something they enjoy and will stick with, whether it's going to the gym, signing up for dance classes, playing tennis, or gardening.
The added advantage of morning walks is getting enough sunlight which has been shown to be effective for seasonal mood changes that happen in the darker winter months. Exposure to light in the morning helps the body's sleep/wake cycle work properly. Production of serotonin, a brain chemical that is key in influencing our mood, is turned on in the morning upon exposure to light.
Involve them in various activities; take them out for light movies/comedies/concerts.
Add omega 3 fatty acids and St. Johns wort in their dietary supplements. Omega-3 fatty acids are a type of good fat needed for normal brain function. Our bodies can't make omega-3s on their own, so we must obtain them through our diet. Studies have linked depression with low dietary intake of omega-3 fatty acids.
The herb St. John's wort (Hypericum perforatum) has long been used in folk medicine for sadness, worry, nervousness, and poor sleep. Today, the results of over 20 clinical trials suggest that St. John's wort works better than a placebo and is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression, with fewer side effects. Studies suggest that St. John's wort is not effective for major depression. It's available at health food stores, drug stores, and online in the form of capsules, tablets, liquid extracts, or tea.
St. John's wort may take 4 to 6 weeks to notice the full effects. Side effects may include dizziness, dry mouth, indigestion, and fatigue. St. John's wort increases photosensitivity, so extra caution should be taken to protect skin and eyes from sunlight. Although St. John's wort appears to be reasonably safe when taken alone, it can interfere with the effectiveness of prescription and over-the-counter drugs, such as antidepressants, drugs to treat HIV infections and AIDs, drugs to prevent organ rejection for transplant patients, and oral contraceptives.
St. John's wort is not recommended for pregnant or nursing women, children, or people with bipolar disorder, liver or kidney disease.
Magnesium and vitamin B6 are also natural mood lifters.
Create an atmosphere of joy and happiness, but I understand that in some cases of extreme loss, this may not be possible. What I recommend is to have soft music and some sort of aroma (lavender, jasmine, rose and clary sage have been found to be beneficial) in their place of abode. Certain musical frequencies, especially mantras have a very uplifting effect.
Always remember that if a person is really depressed, he or she will need to see a qualified person. The above are just a few things that we can do to help our loved ones come out of extreme sadness or pain caused by an external factor.
Love/luck/happiness
Shveitta Sethi Sharma
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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