Happiness is a Skill: Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work

1 comment:

UK said...: I finally admitted that we needed help in our relationship, I bought this book with a little reservation.... I'm sorry I waited so long. If you practice what's in this book, I'm sure that you can make it. Everything can be related to in an easy understandable manner. If your willing, this book will definately help!!; January 4, 2012 at 6:44 PM

A little bit about me!

Dearest friends, thank you for visiting and stopping . I hope I can be of service to you.

I started my search for the real meaning of happiness about 6 years ago. Prior to that , I was like many others a seeker of pleasure. Looking for happiness in relationships, money lifestyle , and other tangible aspects of life. It soon it dawned on me that pleasure did not necessarily translate into happiness.

Having lots of money, Great relationships, Lifestyle, Great body and looks etc can all lead to temporary joy and fulfillment but often they do not bring lasting happiness. I experienced that the lows following the pleasures were much worse than the highs. I had come to a point where I was consciously or sub consciously sabotaging my own happiness.

Things were starting to take an ugly turn. I was starting to have thoughts that were rather unpleasant and my family was starting to suffer.

Some thing had to change, and the only thing I could change was "ME".

I started questioning pretty much everyone that I met. People I met on the plane, in buses, on trains, CEO's of major corporations, people who worked in McDonalds in Hong Kong, trash collectors in Bangladesh and New York, holiday makers in Europe, nursing staff in Emergency wards and so on. I attended various seminars on positive psychology, met various established gurus/teachers from Buddhist, Vedic, Christian, Jewish and Moslem traditions.

Consulted with fengshui masters, fortune tellers , psychics and mediums! Tried to understand the scientific meaning of happiness by studying bits of quantum physics, epigenetics, neuro sciences , and chimestry . Devourved anything that even mentioned the word happiness.

Every person I met had a unique perspective and an understanding of happiness. Most people understood the meaning, but there were many like me who were chasing all the wrong things. Things that made them unhappy and restless.

My personal journey took interesting twists and turns. One day while sitting in a 5 star hotel room in Delhi, I had my turning point. I was contemplating on the vagaries of life when I met Pinky, a massage lady who came to the room to give me a massage. I asked Pinky, if she was happy. Her immediate response was "Yes mam, I am very happy!" Taken aback with the very enthusiastic response, I asked her the reason for her happiness.

Her response put everything in perspective. She told me that her reason for being happy was that her husband did not beat her! Incredulously I started at her and that one sentence changed my whole perspective. Here I was with everything that I could possibly hope for and contemplating my happiness quotient , and here was this woman who had ( in my opinion) enough reasons to complain about, and she was telling me how happy she was.

Dont know when, but in the last 6 years somehow somewhere my understanding of the term happiness changed and today am in a pretty good place most of the time. My happiness is no more dependant on my outer circumstance but it has become a state of mind . Of course, I have my moments of unhappiness and sadness but most of the time I can look at the glass half full.

Happiness is a skill and the more we practice the better we get.

You will find many articles/links/videos that may help you in your own search and meaning of happiness. Please feel free to contact me and leave comments and if you find any resourses that can be added here, please do let me know so that I can add them. I do hope that we all can help each other find and share the real meaning of happiness.

Much love and happiness to you always. /Shveitta