Learning how to use mind power, and learning specifically how to use mind power to attract wealth and abundance, has been a major focus for most of my life. Along the way, I've learned that using mind power works most effectively when it is done with ease and grace. You don't have to struggle to get exactly what you want in life. In fact, whenever you struggle, you push away that which you most desire.
Using mind power to change your life is more like a magic trick than anything else. You simply trick your mind into believing that you have what you want, and then your life miraculously changes to reflect your new belief. And just like a magic trick, it seems impossible until you learn the trick, and then you realize it is actually very simple.
Yes, I said very simple. The five steps which follow are designed for the complete beginner. You can start today, right now, to attract more prosperity in your life. Here are five ways to start immediately.
FIVE SIMPLE WAYS TO TRICK YOUR MIND INTO ATTRACTING WEALTH
1. Show gratitude for any money which enters your life . In order to attract money into your life, you must show gratitude for the money which is already in your life. Instead of bemoaning how little money you have, bask in gratitude at the many ways in which you are rich already. For example, if you earn more than $2,182 a year, you have more wealth than 85 per cent of the people on earth. And if you earn over $25,400 per year, you are in the top 10 per cent of wealthy people on this planet. When you focus on what you have rather than what you want, you realize that you ARE already rich. Give thanks often for all the riches in your life.
How to use this principle today: The next time money enters your life, from any source whatsoever, instead of barely noticing what has happened and mentally beginning to spend it, use a few moments of time to give thanks to the universe for bringing this money into your life. Every time you receive a paycheck, every time someone gives you money for any reason, every time you find money, or get a great deal, or save money in some way, stop and appreciate the fact that money is flowing into your life. Doing this every time money comes to you will attract more and more money into your life.
2. Act as if you are rich. This is the fundamental truth of all mind power work, that you must act as if what you want is already yours. So act as if you already have the money you wish to have. Ask yourself, if I was already rich, what would I do, how would I act, how would I feel, and then do, act, and feel in those ways.
Of course, you don't need to quit your job and move to the South Pacific like you would if you suddenly won the lottery, but you start small and with each success you build your way to greater and greater wealth. Eat a little bit better, dress a little bit nicer, go on slightly higher-end vacations, take a cab instead of the bus now and then, take that course you think you can't afford, or do anything at all that you wish to do but believe you can't because of a lack of money.
And when you do these things, bask in joy at your inner state of wealth, and know that this state will be reflected in your outer world. You'll be amazed at how life provides for the things which bring you joy.
How to use this principle today: The next time you are about to buy something, anything at all, purchase an item that is of slightly higher quality and price than you would usually buy. Even if something only costs a few dollars more than what is usual for you to spend, buy that item and thank the universe for providing for your new expanding lifestyle.
Even though it is a tiny step, you are beginning to teach your mind that you are expanding your limitations, and as you practice this you will begin to purchase more of the things you want in your life and the money will come to you to pay for them.
3. Find a penny, pick it up. In order to attract wealth into your life, your subsconscious mind must be open to the idea of wealth flowing to you. You must be open and receptive to money coming to you from any source whatsoever. This includes the pennies laying on the street. If you pass a penny on the sidewalk, and your usual reaction is simply to ignore it because stooping down to pick up a penny is not worth the effort, you are telling your subconscious mind that you are not willing to put out effort for money. The amount of money makes no difference whatsoever. The subconscious mind doesn't distinguish between one penny and one million dollars. All it knows is how you feel.
Of course this manifests in many other ways as well. Whenever you do not accept a gift graciously, whenever you do not charge someone for work that you have done for them, or charge them way less than you should because you feel guilty, and whenever you sell a product for less than it is worth because you do not want to charge too much, you are generating the same emotions. So begin to be open to money, in whatever form, and begin to accept it's flow into your life, even if it's only a penny on the street.
How to use this principle today: Simply go for a walk today and look for money. You are sure to find at least a penny somewhere. Pick it up and thank the universe for bringing money into your life. Let your subconscious mind know that you are open and willing to accept money from any source.
As well, apply this principle in your working life. If you have been undercharging for your services, raise your prices. If you are not earning what you feel you should, ask for a raise. And whenever anyone gives you anything, especially money, accept it graciously and give thanks.
4. Be open to money-making opportunities. One thing that all self-made millionaires agree on is that there are opportunities everywhere, if we are just open to seeing them. You can prove this for yourself by looking at your own life. There are probably many times in your past which you think back to and wonder what might have happened if you had taken an opportunity at just the right time. Whether it's obvious things like career opportunities you let slip by, investment opportunities you didn't belive in, or less obvious opportunities like an idea you once had that is now making someone else rich, or an industry you could have joined before it became saturated.
If you are like most people, when you think of your past opportunities, you believe that you once had a chance but that opportunity is now gone. The difference between rich and poor people is that rich people realize that new opportunities are always all around us, all the time. You simply need to keep a look out for the opportunities, keep and open mind, and be prepared to take advantage when the opportunity arrives.
I'm sure you've heard the old adage that luck occurs when opportunity meets preparation. Well, it couldn't be more true. If you expect to find money-making opportunities in your life, and you prepare to take advantage of them when they come, you will be blessed with more incredible luck than you have ever experienced.
How to use this principle today: Get out a little notebook and write down all the money-making ideas you can think of. It doesn't matter how stupid or outrageous the idea might seem, write it down anyway.
This does two things. First, you realize that there are plenty of money-making opportunities around you right now, as there always have been and always will be. Secondly, this exercise will stimulate your mind to see money-making opportunities where it might have ignored them in the past, and will help you practice to see opportunities in the future.
If you keep adding ideas to your notebook consistently, one day you will see an incredibly opportunity on your list which is perfect for you. Then go for it!
5. Do something that makes you feel good. This has got to be the easiest money-making advice I could ever give. Do something that makes you feel good. When you feel good, your energy rises, and when your energy rises, it attracts more of the things into your life which make you feel good.
Could life be any easier? Not really, but we are so caught up in the backwards thinking of everyone around us that we miss the obvious flow of energy. All you really need to attract more of the good things in your life, including more money, is to generate positive energy into the world. The states of happiness and joy literally rearrange the atoms of your world to bring you more happiness and joy. Of course, the reverse is true as well. So avoid fear, anger, depression, and spend your time feeling good about yourself and your life.
If this is difficult for you, just practice. Begin with some small thing which brings you happiness. It could be as simple as watching a sunset, renting your favorite movie of all time, taking someone you love out for dessert, or anything at all.
The secret is to do these things whole-heartedly, with all your attention focussed on the happiness vibrating from your soul out into the world. This simple act will bring you rich rewards.
How to use this principle today: Don't just read this article and think "that sounds good" and then go back to your life. Pick something to do which will bring you happiness and do it today. It doesn't matter what it is or how small it seems. In fact, you don't have to do anything at all. All that is important is feeling the positive emotions of happiness and joy emanating from your soul.
One simple way to generate positive emotion is to feel gratitude for something in your life. Just pick something in your life for which you are very grateful, and vibrate your gratitude towards it.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE IF YOU START NOW That should get you started. Five extremely simple actions you can take to begin to expand the prosperity you experience in your life. But don't stop there. Never let fear or doubt enter your mind. There is nothing you need in order to succeed except the power of your own mind.
If you worry that you are not smart enough, not connected enough, not talented enough, not young enough or not old enough, you are simply creating limiting beliefs which will manifest in the outside world. All you really need to know is that the outside world is a reflection of the state of your inner mind. Know that you can make every day from this day forward a little more joyful and a little more abundant and then watch your life begin to change.
It's an easy and gentle process, much like letting a plant grow. One day you will suddenly realize that all of your good thoughts have grown into the beautiful fruits of a happy and successful life.
Andreas Ohrt is the author of "Money Making Secrets of Mind Power Masters." Learn the secrets of the world's most spiritual multi-millionaires at http://www.SecretMindPower.com
Another great resource about Law of Attraction: www.law-of-attraction-info.com
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Thursday, April 30, 2009
The Healing Power of the Mind is Your Best Medicine
By Joel Chue / Creator of Mind Power Special Report
When you have just recovered from an illness like heart attack or stroke your doctor will always give you advice on how to regain back your health.
This advice can included quiting smoking, eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise. However the healing power of the mind is also an essential and powerful weapon and medicine to your road to recovery.
In 2002, the Mayo Clinic did research and reported that people who are pessimistic about life don’t live as long and happily as optimistic people. The finding confirms what health professionals have believed for a long time. People who expect the worst and think of negative thoughts have more trouble coping with significant illness.
Hopeful and optimistic people who are excited about their recovery recover more quickly and live more active lives. Bottom line: stay in touch with your mind, be in constant positive thought to activate the healing power of the mind.
How do constantly think of positive and healthy thoughts? First, begin with an easy task and take small and stable step to accomplishing it. Reward and take a break every time you achieve your target. Take note of your stress levels. If you become angry, feel hopeless or numb yourself through addictive behavior, actively adopt a brighter outlook.
Just remember that though you do not have the power to control what really happens in your life, you have the power to take a positive response to the matter. Make a list of the things you want to accomplish, the places you want to go and the people you want to see and do something fun to stimulate a positive perspective.
You can make your mind rapidly change your thoughts from negative to positive. If you find yourself thinking about the disabilities of your body, stop and start to appreciate all the things it can do and feel the excitement in you growing.
Seriously limit or even stop going out with negative people unless they change. Try this exercise: Every time you stop at a light while you are driving, listen to your self talk. If you are thinking about a fight with your spouse, replaying a stressful and painful thought at work, or beating yourself up for running late to your next appointment, replace those thoughts by thinking about something good that happened during your day. Feel the joy in you. The healing power of the mind begins with your positive thoughts. Your mind is the most effective medicine to illnesses and constantly stay in touch with it.
You may ask if there is any connections between negative thoughts and illnesses. Well, I personally believe there is. When there is mental unrest, it affects the body as well. A physical symptom is a signal which your body is communicating to you to tell you that something is wrong and has to be dealt with. It is bringing to your attention a problem in your emotions, thinking or environment that is non-beneficial or harmful to you, so you can face it and resolve it.
Illnesses arise because the result of being ignorant of the constant signals our bodies alert us. When they become more serious, most people will then take actions to consciously change their state of mind to recovering it. However, there are still stubborn people who refuse to take action to change their mental and physical state.
Be aware of what your body is trying to tell you. You also need to know that your body and mind works as one. Either one can lead and the other will follow. But the mind is the overall in charge. The power of your mind has the ability and capability to override the body. Simply put, when you are always indulge in negative thoughts, illness arise faster.
Having the mindset that all your thoughts and emotions control your physical well-being rather than the other way around is to represent things in a way that empowers you. Think of things that empowers you rather than the other way around. When your mind is filled with positive thoughts, you have the the healing power of the mind on your side. When your mind is being controlled by negative thoughts, you are being controlled by the negative thoughts.
The most effective way to real and quick healing is to be healed both mentally and emotionally rather than just working on curing the physical ailment. The system of psychoneuroimmunology (the way the mind affects the nervous system which in turn affects the immune system).
Remember the best and the least expensive medicine to recovery of any illness is the healing power of the mind. Harness your mind power today!
When you have just recovered from an illness like heart attack or stroke your doctor will always give you advice on how to regain back your health.
This advice can included quiting smoking, eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise. However the healing power of the mind is also an essential and powerful weapon and medicine to your road to recovery.
In 2002, the Mayo Clinic did research and reported that people who are pessimistic about life don’t live as long and happily as optimistic people. The finding confirms what health professionals have believed for a long time. People who expect the worst and think of negative thoughts have more trouble coping with significant illness.
Hopeful and optimistic people who are excited about their recovery recover more quickly and live more active lives. Bottom line: stay in touch with your mind, be in constant positive thought to activate the healing power of the mind.
How do constantly think of positive and healthy thoughts? First, begin with an easy task and take small and stable step to accomplishing it. Reward and take a break every time you achieve your target. Take note of your stress levels. If you become angry, feel hopeless or numb yourself through addictive behavior, actively adopt a brighter outlook.
Just remember that though you do not have the power to control what really happens in your life, you have the power to take a positive response to the matter. Make a list of the things you want to accomplish, the places you want to go and the people you want to see and do something fun to stimulate a positive perspective.
You can make your mind rapidly change your thoughts from negative to positive. If you find yourself thinking about the disabilities of your body, stop and start to appreciate all the things it can do and feel the excitement in you growing.
Seriously limit or even stop going out with negative people unless they change. Try this exercise: Every time you stop at a light while you are driving, listen to your self talk. If you are thinking about a fight with your spouse, replaying a stressful and painful thought at work, or beating yourself up for running late to your next appointment, replace those thoughts by thinking about something good that happened during your day. Feel the joy in you. The healing power of the mind begins with your positive thoughts. Your mind is the most effective medicine to illnesses and constantly stay in touch with it.
You may ask if there is any connections between negative thoughts and illnesses. Well, I personally believe there is. When there is mental unrest, it affects the body as well. A physical symptom is a signal which your body is communicating to you to tell you that something is wrong and has to be dealt with. It is bringing to your attention a problem in your emotions, thinking or environment that is non-beneficial or harmful to you, so you can face it and resolve it.
Illnesses arise because the result of being ignorant of the constant signals our bodies alert us. When they become more serious, most people will then take actions to consciously change their state of mind to recovering it. However, there are still stubborn people who refuse to take action to change their mental and physical state.
Be aware of what your body is trying to tell you. You also need to know that your body and mind works as one. Either one can lead and the other will follow. But the mind is the overall in charge. The power of your mind has the ability and capability to override the body. Simply put, when you are always indulge in negative thoughts, illness arise faster.
Having the mindset that all your thoughts and emotions control your physical well-being rather than the other way around is to represent things in a way that empowers you. Think of things that empowers you rather than the other way around. When your mind is filled with positive thoughts, you have the the healing power of the mind on your side. When your mind is being controlled by negative thoughts, you are being controlled by the negative thoughts.
The most effective way to real and quick healing is to be healed both mentally and emotionally rather than just working on curing the physical ailment. The system of psychoneuroimmunology (the way the mind affects the nervous system which in turn affects the immune system).
Remember the best and the least expensive medicine to recovery of any illness is the healing power of the mind. Harness your mind power today!
Food guide
Apples
Protects your heart
prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
Avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
Flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
kills bacteria
Fights fungus
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Grapes
saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
Green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
Olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration
Peaches
prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates
Diverticulitis
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
Prunes
Slows aging process
prevents constipation
boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
boosts memory
Calms stress
Sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
Wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
Yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion
7 don'ts after a meal
* Don't smoke-Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).
* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1 hr before meal.
* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.
* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted &blocked.
* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.
Protects your heart
prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
Avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
Flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
kills bacteria
Fights fungus
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Grapes
saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
Green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
Olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration
Peaches
prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates
Diverticulitis
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
Prunes
Slows aging process
prevents constipation
boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
boosts memory
Calms stress
Sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
Wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
Yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion
7 don'ts after a meal
* Don't smoke-Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).
* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1 hr before meal.
* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.
* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted &blocked.
* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.
Daily hapiness checklist by Dr. Timothy Sharp – The Happiness Institute
□ I’ve reminded myself of my life purpose
□ I’m clear on my priorities for the day
□ I’ve engaged in exercise
□ I’ve planned to eat healthily
□ I intend to practice meditation/relaxation
□ I will not accept unhelpful, negative thoughts
□ I’m confident today will be a good day
□ I’m hopeful for the future
□ I’m grateful for the people in my life
□ I intend to praise at least one person today
□ I’m determined to find ways to use my strengths
□ I’m going to have fun
□ I will laugh and smile
□ I will endeavour to be in the moment as much as possible
□ I’ll savour all positive experiences
□ I’m clear on my priorities for the day
□ I’ve engaged in exercise
□ I’ve planned to eat healthily
□ I intend to practice meditation/relaxation
□ I will not accept unhelpful, negative thoughts
□ I’m confident today will be a good day
□ I’m hopeful for the future
□ I’m grateful for the people in my life
□ I intend to praise at least one person today
□ I’m determined to find ways to use my strengths
□ I’m going to have fun
□ I will laugh and smile
□ I will endeavour to be in the moment as much as possible
□ I’ll savour all positive experiences
10 Virtually Instant Ways to Improve Your Life by Adrian Savage
Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.
1. Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.
2. Don’t dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.
3. Don’t invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.
4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.
5. Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.
6. Don’t over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.
7. Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.
8. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.
9. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.
10. Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you
1. Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.
2. Don’t dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.
3. Don’t invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.
4. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.
5. Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.
6. Don’t over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.
7. Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.
8. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.
9. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.
10. Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The power of words.
Most of us have heard sayings and quotations about words. Words are just labels and yet they have the power to change your life. Often as a young teen, I would say hurtful things to my mother and actually end up really hurting her. She did try her best, but her best was never good enough for me. She was never as good a cook as my friends mother, or as good a teacher as my teacher or as well dressed as my neighbor. I always had something to pick on her.
I never did realize the power of my hurtful words till I heard something on similar lines from my daughter.
Life has a way of giving back. Just yesterday she said something like “mummy everyone thinks you are pretty, but they never see you in the morning when you wake up !!” I thought it was rather funny and pretended to laugh it off but when I thought about it, it actually bothered me. I thought about how I used to say things to my mother with the intention of hurting her. I thought that my daughter was purposely trying to say something to hurt me. Maybe hurting me was not her intention, but I took it as such and I started a whole debate on how she was being disrespectful and hurtful. She is still very young, so I don’t think her intention was to hurt me, but I already started thinking about when she would become a teenager and say things that would hurt me to no end. All this is going on in my own little brain and I have no proof that it will happen, but here I am thinking about how my daughter would behave towards me after 4-5 years. Is that warped or what????
This might sound a bit smug, but I think I have done a bit more research on child behavior and child psychology than my mother did. So instead of telling my daughter about the power of words and how it affects people, we did a little experiment. I had read about Masaru Emoto’s water experiment and how the water reacts to words. ( Google Masaru Emoto…if you don’t know about it). I saw the video and was quite fascinated, but being the skeptic that I am, I had to see the results for myself. I think I must have read somewhere about the rice experiment and decided to check for myself if it was really true that what we say has an impact?
The experiment goes like this.
Take two or three jars/bottles/Tupperware. On one jar write, I LOVE YOU, on another write, I HATE YOU, and if you have a third, write IGNORE. ( I made my daughter do that)
Next take boiled/steamed rice and put equal amounts in each jar. Cover the jar and say out what you have written on the jar, so to the jar that says, I love you…say with love..I love you and to the one that says, I hate you …say with emotion..I hate you and the one that says ignore, just leave it somewhere where you may not see it and just ignore it.
Do this every day for about a week to 10 days . The results will blow your mind.
In our case the Jar which said ‘I love you was all white with very few green fungus bits, The jar which had I hate you written was all black and green and the ignored one was the worst, it was all fuzzy and mouldy. We could hardly see the rice.
Exactly same content, same environment, the only difference being the written word and the thought given to it. If words can do this to rice, imagine what they can do to us and to our life.
So now I had ammunition to show to my daughter. As she was the one who had done the writing, it was really her experiment. She immediately understood how what she said had an effect on people. No she has not become mother Teresa and neither have I, but we are now a bit more aware and conscious of the words we speak and the thoughts we think.
My mother used to always tell me… “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t bother saying it at all.” But did I listen?
Well, I guess it is never too late to start
I never did realize the power of my hurtful words till I heard something on similar lines from my daughter.
Life has a way of giving back. Just yesterday she said something like “mummy everyone thinks you are pretty, but they never see you in the morning when you wake up !!” I thought it was rather funny and pretended to laugh it off but when I thought about it, it actually bothered me. I thought about how I used to say things to my mother with the intention of hurting her. I thought that my daughter was purposely trying to say something to hurt me. Maybe hurting me was not her intention, but I took it as such and I started a whole debate on how she was being disrespectful and hurtful. She is still very young, so I don’t think her intention was to hurt me, but I already started thinking about when she would become a teenager and say things that would hurt me to no end. All this is going on in my own little brain and I have no proof that it will happen, but here I am thinking about how my daughter would behave towards me after 4-5 years. Is that warped or what????
This might sound a bit smug, but I think I have done a bit more research on child behavior and child psychology than my mother did. So instead of telling my daughter about the power of words and how it affects people, we did a little experiment. I had read about Masaru Emoto’s water experiment and how the water reacts to words. ( Google Masaru Emoto…if you don’t know about it). I saw the video and was quite fascinated, but being the skeptic that I am, I had to see the results for myself. I think I must have read somewhere about the rice experiment and decided to check for myself if it was really true that what we say has an impact?
The experiment goes like this.
Take two or three jars/bottles/Tupperware. On one jar write, I LOVE YOU, on another write, I HATE YOU, and if you have a third, write IGNORE. ( I made my daughter do that)
Next take boiled/steamed rice and put equal amounts in each jar. Cover the jar and say out what you have written on the jar, so to the jar that says, I love you…say with love..I love you and to the one that says, I hate you …say with emotion..I hate you and the one that says ignore, just leave it somewhere where you may not see it and just ignore it.
Do this every day for about a week to 10 days . The results will blow your mind.
In our case the Jar which said ‘I love you was all white with very few green fungus bits, The jar which had I hate you written was all black and green and the ignored one was the worst, it was all fuzzy and mouldy. We could hardly see the rice.
Exactly same content, same environment, the only difference being the written word and the thought given to it. If words can do this to rice, imagine what they can do to us and to our life.
So now I had ammunition to show to my daughter. As she was the one who had done the writing, it was really her experiment. She immediately understood how what she said had an effect on people. No she has not become mother Teresa and neither have I, but we are now a bit more aware and conscious of the words we speak and the thoughts we think.
My mother used to always tell me… “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t bother saying it at all.” But did I listen?
Well, I guess it is never too late to start
Save the best for last!!!!!
Yesterday I gave my daughter some chocolates. She quickly gobbled up a few and kept her favorites one for later. I asked her why she had kept her favorite one and had the ones she did not particularly like? Her reply was “ Mummy, I am saving the best for last.”
I think I did exactly the same when I was young. In fact my mother used to do the same and I suspect her mother and grandmother did the same. Some where somehow in our psyche we have been programmed to save the best for last.
I’m not sure where this belief originated and whether it is the right thing to do or not? But it got me thinking…. Why do we save the best for last? What if that last was too late?
I remember a beautiful set of china in my house which always stayed neatly packed . I asked my mum, when we would use it? She said it was for a special occasion and that it was rather expensive, so we had to be extra careful with it. The result was that we never ended up using it. It stayed neatly wrapped occupying space in the cupboard. I left home when I was 20 and sort of forgot about it. When my mum passed away,iIt came upon me to sort out her stuff (Stuff that she had collected over years and that was neatly wrapped in tissue and plastic) I saw the expensive china dining set and with great trepidation opened it. It was beautiful, but it had gotten stained! It had never been used and yet it had gone brown and showed very fine cracks. I saw it and cried and cried.
Maybe it was not that special after all!!!
What would have made it special would have been the memories associated with it. The occasions that would have been termed special just because we chose to make them special . What if we had used it just for fun? Just because we wanted to celebrate the fact that we were all together. We never realized that just being together and being alive was reason enough to celebrate. I don’t think it was my mother’s fault and I don’t blame my grandparents either. It was just the way things were. It was all a part of conditioning based on fear and lack.
Most of us keep waiting for a special moment when things will begin to feel special. We put happiness on hold in anticipation of a better tomorrow. We keep our best linen and our best china neatly wrapped in anticipation of a special moment. The special moment when I get that promotion, the special moment when my child graduates, the special moment when !!!!!!
Why?
Why not make every moment special? According to Buddhist teaching, death is definite, but it’s time is uncertain. So why not rejoice the moment of life and stay prepared for the moment of death.
I know I have digressed a long way away from the irresistible chocolate and why my daughter wanted to save it for the last. But a seven year old getting conditioned in the theory of “saving the best for the last was definitely not something I wanted to encourage.
At the same time I do not wish to imply that we should live a nihilistic lifestyle with no regard or appreciation of the future. We all want to savor what we like for as long as we can, but we do not need to go through life waiting and wanting. In our waiting and wanting we forget to appreciate the moment and fail to realize that every moment is special and that every piece of chocolate has a distinct yet pleasurable taste.
Ironically, my daughter lost her favorite chocolate. My dog realized it was something rather special and very appropriately found his salivating mouth all over it. Inara was inconsolable, but in this case I had a few extra chocolates and I very quickly replaced the one that had found its way into the dogs belly, but often in life we do not get chances to replace what we lose or to make up for moments that could have been special but we did not think they were.
So go get that beautiful china out, lay the table with your best table cloth and decide to make every moment a special moment.
Next time someone offers you, your favorite chocolate, grab it with both hands and thank the makers for that irresistible smooth creamy taste. Start living in the now and revel in the abundance and not in fear and regret.
Luv/luck/happiness.
I think I did exactly the same when I was young. In fact my mother used to do the same and I suspect her mother and grandmother did the same. Some where somehow in our psyche we have been programmed to save the best for last.
I’m not sure where this belief originated and whether it is the right thing to do or not? But it got me thinking…. Why do we save the best for last? What if that last was too late?
I remember a beautiful set of china in my house which always stayed neatly packed . I asked my mum, when we would use it? She said it was for a special occasion and that it was rather expensive, so we had to be extra careful with it. The result was that we never ended up using it. It stayed neatly wrapped occupying space in the cupboard. I left home when I was 20 and sort of forgot about it. When my mum passed away,iIt came upon me to sort out her stuff (Stuff that she had collected over years and that was neatly wrapped in tissue and plastic) I saw the expensive china dining set and with great trepidation opened it. It was beautiful, but it had gotten stained! It had never been used and yet it had gone brown and showed very fine cracks. I saw it and cried and cried.
Maybe it was not that special after all!!!
What would have made it special would have been the memories associated with it. The occasions that would have been termed special just because we chose to make them special . What if we had used it just for fun? Just because we wanted to celebrate the fact that we were all together. We never realized that just being together and being alive was reason enough to celebrate. I don’t think it was my mother’s fault and I don’t blame my grandparents either. It was just the way things were. It was all a part of conditioning based on fear and lack.
Most of us keep waiting for a special moment when things will begin to feel special. We put happiness on hold in anticipation of a better tomorrow. We keep our best linen and our best china neatly wrapped in anticipation of a special moment. The special moment when I get that promotion, the special moment when my child graduates, the special moment when !!!!!!
Why?
Why not make every moment special? According to Buddhist teaching, death is definite, but it’s time is uncertain. So why not rejoice the moment of life and stay prepared for the moment of death.
I know I have digressed a long way away from the irresistible chocolate and why my daughter wanted to save it for the last. But a seven year old getting conditioned in the theory of “saving the best for the last was definitely not something I wanted to encourage.
At the same time I do not wish to imply that we should live a nihilistic lifestyle with no regard or appreciation of the future. We all want to savor what we like for as long as we can, but we do not need to go through life waiting and wanting. In our waiting and wanting we forget to appreciate the moment and fail to realize that every moment is special and that every piece of chocolate has a distinct yet pleasurable taste.
Ironically, my daughter lost her favorite chocolate. My dog realized it was something rather special and very appropriately found his salivating mouth all over it. Inara was inconsolable, but in this case I had a few extra chocolates and I very quickly replaced the one that had found its way into the dogs belly, but often in life we do not get chances to replace what we lose or to make up for moments that could have been special but we did not think they were.
So go get that beautiful china out, lay the table with your best table cloth and decide to make every moment a special moment.
Next time someone offers you, your favorite chocolate, grab it with both hands and thank the makers for that irresistible smooth creamy taste. Start living in the now and revel in the abundance and not in fear and regret.
Luv/luck/happiness.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
PAIN…. Potential Aftermath of Intense Nihilism
A few weeks ago, thanks to an overindulgence in the nectar of the GOD’s ; I spent the entire Christmas Day in bed holding my head and regurgitating the few remains of the delicious Biryani. Am sure I could have thought of better things to do!!
This led me to try and evaluate the meaning of PAIN.
The word PAIN is related to the Greek word Poine which means retribution, vengeance, punishment and penalty. Poine- the goddess of retribution and punishment was closely connected with Praxidike-the “extractor of Justice”. The two pretty much went hand in hand.
If you do the crime…you bloody well do the time!
Pain never happens without a reason, it is invariably a penalty for sins/crimes we may have committed. In my case, I had definitely indulged in my gastronomic liquid passion and abused my liver. Justice was called for and eventually served. With my head inside the toilet bowl, I swore never to touch the silky red liquid from the Rhone Valley. (That promise was kept until New Year’s Eve).
Pain is body’s defense mechanism. Pain alerts us to more serious potential threats, so maybe we should welcome pain….. should we really??? I doubt any one likes pain, so the only solution therefore is to not do the activity that leads to pain.
Each and every pain can be checked if not completely eliminated if we were to just watch our actions and our thinking. Physical pain is a consequence of poor actions and emotional pain is a consequence of poor thinking. Neither can be avoided all the time, but they can surely be brought under conscious control. The adage “No pain no gain” may hold some truth, because it is only after experiencing the pain that we take the initiative to control pain. Till we get sick, we don’t care about our bodies, till we experience heart ache, we don’t care about hurting others, till we experience loss we don’t value what we have.
But does it really have to be that way? Why not try and prevent the pain? By this I don’t mean never to push our bodies or to fall in love for fear of loss. By all means do. Do it with all your heart and passion. Give it all you got, never second guess your decisions. It is the disconnect that arises out of confusion, resentment, hatred, envy, jealousy, anger that leads to the pain. If we are in alignment with the universe, there is no reason for pain. It is only when we decide to go against the flow that we experience pain.
Had I drunk in moderation, I would have had a great time and still been able to enjoy the morning after. It was the hedonism /nihilism that led to my pain.
According to Louise Hay – bestselling author, speaker, and motivational coach- each physical ailment has an emotional bias. It therefore makes sense to control our emotions in order to control our bodies.
If we were to indulge in actions that are uplifting, both for the mind and body, there is no way we will have to suffer in pain. You could however argue that what is uplifting for me is not necessarily uplifting for you, but I think there are some generic criteria that are considered uplifting and some that are considered depressing. (I won’t go about preaching those here).
The premise being, that pain is a penalty for actions undertaken, so if one wants to avoid pain, better not incur the action that may lead to pain.
But if you are a sadist and masochist…who am I to say anything… Enjoy the pain.
PS: I read a legend about a Christian hermit Alexandra who sold her house, shut herself in a tomb and never looked at the outside world again. Her fellow hermit Paul slept on a blanket on the floor of a windowless mud hut and recited 300 prayers every day. He was all content till he heard about another holy man who managed 700 prayers a day and slept in a coffin.
I guess for them Pain was their salvation. I think I shall limit my masochism to a few extra glasses of the red.
Luv/luck/Happiness and a great 2009.
This led me to try and evaluate the meaning of PAIN.
The word PAIN is related to the Greek word Poine which means retribution, vengeance, punishment and penalty. Poine- the goddess of retribution and punishment was closely connected with Praxidike-the “extractor of Justice”. The two pretty much went hand in hand.
If you do the crime…you bloody well do the time!
Pain never happens without a reason, it is invariably a penalty for sins/crimes we may have committed. In my case, I had definitely indulged in my gastronomic liquid passion and abused my liver. Justice was called for and eventually served. With my head inside the toilet bowl, I swore never to touch the silky red liquid from the Rhone Valley. (That promise was kept until New Year’s Eve).
Pain is body’s defense mechanism. Pain alerts us to more serious potential threats, so maybe we should welcome pain….. should we really??? I doubt any one likes pain, so the only solution therefore is to not do the activity that leads to pain.
Each and every pain can be checked if not completely eliminated if we were to just watch our actions and our thinking. Physical pain is a consequence of poor actions and emotional pain is a consequence of poor thinking. Neither can be avoided all the time, but they can surely be brought under conscious control. The adage “No pain no gain” may hold some truth, because it is only after experiencing the pain that we take the initiative to control pain. Till we get sick, we don’t care about our bodies, till we experience heart ache, we don’t care about hurting others, till we experience loss we don’t value what we have.
But does it really have to be that way? Why not try and prevent the pain? By this I don’t mean never to push our bodies or to fall in love for fear of loss. By all means do. Do it with all your heart and passion. Give it all you got, never second guess your decisions. It is the disconnect that arises out of confusion, resentment, hatred, envy, jealousy, anger that leads to the pain. If we are in alignment with the universe, there is no reason for pain. It is only when we decide to go against the flow that we experience pain.
Had I drunk in moderation, I would have had a great time and still been able to enjoy the morning after. It was the hedonism /nihilism that led to my pain.
According to Louise Hay – bestselling author, speaker, and motivational coach- each physical ailment has an emotional bias. It therefore makes sense to control our emotions in order to control our bodies.
If we were to indulge in actions that are uplifting, both for the mind and body, there is no way we will have to suffer in pain. You could however argue that what is uplifting for me is not necessarily uplifting for you, but I think there are some generic criteria that are considered uplifting and some that are considered depressing. (I won’t go about preaching those here).
The premise being, that pain is a penalty for actions undertaken, so if one wants to avoid pain, better not incur the action that may lead to pain.
But if you are a sadist and masochist…who am I to say anything… Enjoy the pain.
PS: I read a legend about a Christian hermit Alexandra who sold her house, shut herself in a tomb and never looked at the outside world again. Her fellow hermit Paul slept on a blanket on the floor of a windowless mud hut and recited 300 prayers every day. He was all content till he heard about another holy man who managed 700 prayers a day and slept in a coffin.
I guess for them Pain was their salvation. I think I shall limit my masochism to a few extra glasses of the red.
Luv/luck/Happiness and a great 2009.
Fun truths....
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. . Earth is the insane asylum for the universe .
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. . Earth is the insane asylum for the universe .
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
A Philosophical Physiology of Love .......copyright.. Lily Splane
"The heart has its reasons that reason cannot know." Many a philosopher and poet have pondered one of our most motivating emotions—love—offering little towards the understanding of this most compelling of experiences. While psychology has been deeply involved in the effects of love on humans, it is only recently that the biochemists and physiologists have taken on the inner-workings one of the most perplexing and life-altering experiences that humans have..
Einstein once said, "Marriage is the unsuccessful attempt to make something lasting out of an accident." The newest research would tend to concur with Einstein: Love is indeed unintentional and involuntary—it just "happens." This in no way suggests that love, or marriage, is a mistake. What it does imply is that love cannot be directed or controlled, is sometimes aimed towards those who cannot return it, and has the capacity to bring great joy or unbearable misery to one's life. Romanticize love rather than understand its physiological roots, it's meaning, and its purpose, and you risk losing your mind to it..
The heart—the "feeling" mind—is in every respect as influential in human decision-making as is logic and reason, if not more so. There are anatomical, physiological, and social reasons why this is so. Giving in to one's heart is not necessarily a liability in creating a happy life, though modern American society would have one believe it is a sign of weakness or stupidity (except in advertising, where it is used to manipulate and persuade us). As much as the logical, reasoning, abstracting, left-hemisphered rational mind is worshipped and groomed in higher education, we all live most of our lives through our feeling, sensing, emotionally-responsive mind. The emotional mind is where our identities lie, where intuition and pre-logical impressions give rise to new insights, where appreciation for beauty and pleasure lie, and where we relate to other living things. The feeling mind is most of who we are..
The most common fallacy of this day is: "I think, therefore everything I am is what I think." Astonishingly, most people are usually aware of what they think (the internal verbalizations), rather than what they feel. The most difficult task a therapist has is getting a patient to describe his or her own feelings. Many patients literally don't know what they feel—are cut off from their emotions; others simply find describing them a daunting task. We use language to attempt to transcribe our emotions to another, but much is lost in the translation even for the most expressive of us. (Language is, after all, a translation of what happens in the brain, not the actual event). Worse, most people believe that they can make themselves feel a certain way, can think themselves into a different mood. Not so. A person cannot direct, but only influence his/her emotional life. No one can will him- or herself to love the right mate, to want the right thing, or to be happy after a sad event. We humans frequently castigate ourselves for our failure to will emotional change, when in reality emotion cannot be commanded and does not bend to will..
Anatomy Lesson
Evolutionary processes are responsible for how the human brain is constructed and functions. Evolution does not happen linearly, progressing along a predictable path. It is a haphazard branching process in which recent developments build atop older structures having more fundamental functions, with each newer structure becoming ever more complex, adding functions, altering the workings of previous structures..
The human brain is a triune organ; three main evolutionary levels of anatomy comprise it:
The reptilian brain (brainstem): primitive functions reside here, such as the startle reflex, fear, sex, territorialism, and ritualistic display. It is essential to all automatic functions: heartbeat, breathing, thermostat, swallowing, and visual tracking. The reptilian brain is the oldest of the brain's structures and is deep within the center of the brain, a bulb of neurons atop the spinal cord..
The mammalian brain (limbic system): anger, love, joy, sadness, shame, pride, happiness, mirth, separation anxiety, etc. are processed here. This is where the identity—personhood—resides. The mammalian brain evolved after the reptilian brain, neatly enveloping the bulb of the brainstem. All mammals, and some birds, possess this second stage of brain structure..
The neocortex (reasoning brain): abstraction (art, representation, planning, strategy, symbols, language), free will, communication, and complex skills are processed here. The neocortex is the most recent structure, and is the outermost layer of the brain. Higher mammals and humans have a well-developed neocortex..
The chemistry of primal and recent brain systems is different, evidenced by selective destruction of certain brain cells with specific toxins that leave other structures untouched. Because of this biochemical variance, these "three brains" sometimes have competing interests, creating disharmony and unease..
It is easy for humans to think of themselves as the pinnacle of evolution. However, we are in no way the apex of evolution; we are simply the most recent. We have not been here very long. By far, Komodo dragons and beetles are splendidly successful, and eons older than humans. Nature has yet to show us that our particular kind of intelligence has a decided evolutionary advantage. As evolution continues, nature tries new things, makes many mistakes, and succeeds at only a handful. Nature overproduces. It is grandiose and wasteful in its attempt to ensure survival of just the few who will prevail into new generations. It is quite possible our triune brains may fail us. It is equally possible that new structures will evolve that make complex brains more adaptive than they are now..
What does this have to do with love? Everything. As a mammalian trait, affectionate attachments have survival advantages—not only for mating purposes, but as a security factor in communal living so common with most mammals (including us). We are social animals, and that means very much more than just getting help when we need it, or reproducing. It means truly bonding with others in a way that seems magical..
We share in common with most mammals, a capacity for knowing and loving another that transcends reason, logic, or free will. Our faculty for internally connecting with another of our own kind, or even with a member of a different species, derives from the structure and physiology of our mammalian "feeling" brains. The emotional bond of affectionate attachment is so overwhelming and consuming as to be nearly miraculous. It is as close to mind reading and psychic connection as we—in common experience—can get. The capacity to love, rather than our cognitive skills, may be the very thing that ensures our survival as a species..
Limbic Resonance
Our capacity to emotionally bond with another is mediated through a phenomenon known to physiologists and behaviorists as "limbic resonance." Limbic resonance is the tuning in to another's internal state; it is the most reliable way a mammal can know the emotional state of another without the necessity of translation (facial expressions, language). Limbic resonance occurs in all mammals, but is absent in reptiles, fish, and most birds. It occurs through eye contact, and the sensations multiply through mutual recognition and the continual back and forth feedback. Two nervous systems for an instant become in sync. Limbic resonance is the foundation of the "love at first sight" phenomenon, combined with other factors such as programmed attractors described below. Limbic resonance is responsible for that tickle in the pit of your stomach when you look into the eyes of someone you adore. When you feel that tickle, so does the other, and the feeling propagates and augments the growing attraction, building the affectionate attachment..
Because feelings can "leap from mind to mind" so to speak, the absence of such feedback is disturbing—as in meeting someone you instantly dislike, and can't put your finger on why. Many have lost their ability to fully emotionally resonate with another—becoming insensitive, even cold towards others in favor of reason and logic. People know when they are liked, when others feel comfortable around them. Likewise, a negative internal response from another may be reflected back to them in ways we cannot fully understand, and the feelings of discomfort, of dislike, amplify. It is difficult to befriend or even like someone who cannot resonate with you..
The limbic activity of others around us allows us to achieve almost immediate congruence—it can be felt in a movie theater, or as a surge of emotion as panic propagates through a crowd. The ability to read another's emotional state is older than our own species, yet we distrust it, devalue the sheer joy of being alone with another for the pure experience of his or her inner state, and further isolate ourselves. This is society's legacy of alienation and loneliness, and we suffer immeasurably for it..
The inner state of others must matter to us. It is essential to our survival and to our individual health more than most of us are aware..
Limbic Regulation
The human is a social animal. Human sociability extends far beyond the need for reproduction, for security in numbers, or for commerce. Modern physiology research has discovered that the human body is not a self-regulating, closed-loop organism. Human physiology depends on limbic resonance from others to achieve physiological balance. Homeostasis derives from physiological synchronicity with another. Heart and breathing rate, hormone levels, immune response, sleep rhythms, blood pH, and neurochemistry are influenced by the presence of another or several others, and you in turn, regulate others. Human physiology does not direct all of its own functions; it is interdependent. It must be steadied by the physical presence of another. This is necessary for both physical and emotional health. In many ways, humans cannot be stable on their own—they require another to survive. Health and happiness mean finding people who regulate you well, and staying near them. It is the basis of communal living, and makes ostracism from any social contact the cruelest of punishments. (Luckily, cross-species attachments are equally as valid as human-to-human ones, hence the well-documented benefits of keeping pets)..
Limbic Revision
In a relationship, one mind revises the other's; one heart changes the other's. We are capable of remaking the emotional life of the one we love; and he or she remodels us. Who we are and who we become depends in part on who we love. Yet, we change emotionally over a lifetime, sometimes growing closer and even more compatible; sometimes becoming a stranger to those we were once so attuned with. It is quite possible, that because of this mutual limbic revision and a 50% chance of emotional drift, that marriage is physiologically a 50-50 prospect. Statistically, about 50% of marriages or long relationships tend to fall apart at about the twenty-year mark. Those who divorce find that staying with the "alienated" partner, is more lonely and stressful than being with no one. It is quite possible that "till death do we part" is too much to expect. True life-mates are rare. If you find one, hold that person near for as long as you can..
Surviving Incompatibility and Loss
Contact with loved ones raises natural opiate and seratonin levels. Likewise, artificial increases of seratonin and opiates greatly reduce the pain of losing someone or severing a relationship. Those who need frequent surges of natural opiates will require more contact with loved ones than those who are less opiate-sensitive..
This is yet another factor in determining how compatible two people may be—do you have the same needs for a rush of brain chemistry?
Mismatched chemistries can become a contest of wills, wherein one requires cuddles while the other craves solitude. The emotionally needy partner will feel neglected and rejected; the more independent partner will feel suffocated and controlled. Such discord can change the brain chemistry of each partner to such an extent as to destroy any feelings of love and dissolve an affectionate attachment. One or both partners will be said to be "in a mood," a state of enhanced readiness to experience a particular emotion. Someone who stays in a bad mood for a long time has been repeatedly stimulated to experience a single emotion, and he or she rides that swirling vortex for weeks on end. The neocortex, with its ability to hypothesize, stimulates the limbic brain to respond. The limbic brain, unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality, responds even when no real threat exists. In fact, brain scans reveal that perception and imagination stimulate the exact same brain areas. This means that your perceptions of your partners intentions and behavior can rule how you respond to your partner, regardless of your partner's true intentions..
Memory and Emotion
Emotions do indeed color the recall of experience. If the emotion is strong enough, it can inhibit opposing feelings so completely as to make the memories of those opposing emotions completely inaccessible. A person can effectively change history in his own head. Rage can make a man strike the woman he forgets he loves. Likewise, strong emotions serve to amplify responses to nearly benign experiences: past abuses can greatly amplify a response to an angry expression; a mildly sad experience can cascade into a nightmare of depression. Experience rewires the brain: what it has experienced dictates what it can experience; how much feeling was associated with past experiences influences and perhaps amplifies subsequent similar experiences, or even intimations of similar experiences..
Attractors and Love Attachments
Limbic resonance, limbic revision, and limbic recognition are not the only factors influencing our love choices. Your lifetime bonding experiences teach you how love works, creates your attractors (those tiny behaviors or qualities in others that you associated with love in your earliest years), which in turn influences who you love. Given the pre-logical character of the limbic system, love choices sometimes make little sense. The neocortex isn't the brain making the decision or guiding the heart..
Being "in love" with someone encompasses three characteristics: the belief that this one person fits in a way no one else can or will; the need for skin-to-skin closeness; the urge to disregard all else. It is a kind of madness, and it is temporary. Truly loving another necessitates knowing the other through sustained and prolonged intimacy; sharing a life, a mutuality of limbic resonance and regulation..
Staying in a relationship that deviates from one's "ideal model" (the person who possesses the appropriate attractors, resonates with us, and regulates us well) is living in a disturbed isolation. It is the most miserable kind of loneliness. Yet, most people will stay in a terrible relationship with someone their limbic brain recognizes, rather than be in a boringly pleasant relationship with a kinder partner..
Unhealthy Attachments
People who require limbic revision (rather than simply respond over time), usually have pathological attractors. Negative incidents and behaviors become associated with love. These people may pick fights or nag their mates for the reward of "making up," create unease through jealousy, or do other negative things to keep the "zest" in the relationship. These people drain others, and leach the life out of those they love. They are so needy as to have nothing whatsoever to give, but can only take through creating discord and animosity. They are eternally unhappy, but not for any particular reason. Healthier potential mates may steer clear of someone they sense is perpetually unhappy. These people can benefit most from the bond between therapist and patient. Two people who require limbic revision are the last two people who can help each other..
Love's Future
What we do inside relationships is the most important aspect of life. Modern American life embraces activities and attitudes that not only discourage limbic resonance and love, but seek to destroy it...
The Internet is exemplary of the escalating syndrome of self-imposed isolation while engaged in seeking out contact with others that cannot possibly benefit us physiologically if such contact remains electronic. The Internet is often touted as a global community, but we do not resonate with others. When we are online, we are alone. This paradox occurs to few; the consequences of such isolation has yet to be studied and assessed..
The damaging affects of parental absence during infancy through "toddlerhood" are well documented. Yet, society devalues, even shames parents who choose to parent full-time, rather than work outside the home. The incessant drone of advertisements encourages getting love through things rather than through other humans. Material gain and social status become all-consuming, and relationships are considered disposable to materialistic ideals. Only those with the courage to reject America's values—social status, titles, expensive vacations, Madison Avenue physiques, designer possessions everywhere—will have a decent life in creating time for loving others, and being loved in return..
References:
* Becker, Ernest. Escape from Evil, Free Press, 1975..
* Dennett, Daniel. Consciousness Explained, Little, Brown and Company, 1991..
* Jaynes, Julian. The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, Houghton Mifflin Company, 1976..
* Lewis, Thomas M.D., Amini, Fari, M.D., and Lannon, Richard, M.D. A General Theory of Love, Random House, 2000..
* Morris, Desmond; Intimate Behaviour, Random House, 1971..
* Rand, Ayn; Philosophy: Who Needs It, Bobs-Merrill, 1982..
* Russell, Bertrand; Philosophical Essays, Simon and Schuster, 1967..
* Schneider, Allen M., and Tarshis, Barry; An Introduction to Physiological Psychology, Random House, 1975..
Einstein once said, "Marriage is the unsuccessful attempt to make something lasting out of an accident." The newest research would tend to concur with Einstein: Love is indeed unintentional and involuntary—it just "happens." This in no way suggests that love, or marriage, is a mistake. What it does imply is that love cannot be directed or controlled, is sometimes aimed towards those who cannot return it, and has the capacity to bring great joy or unbearable misery to one's life. Romanticize love rather than understand its physiological roots, it's meaning, and its purpose, and you risk losing your mind to it..
The heart—the "feeling" mind—is in every respect as influential in human decision-making as is logic and reason, if not more so. There are anatomical, physiological, and social reasons why this is so. Giving in to one's heart is not necessarily a liability in creating a happy life, though modern American society would have one believe it is a sign of weakness or stupidity (except in advertising, where it is used to manipulate and persuade us). As much as the logical, reasoning, abstracting, left-hemisphered rational mind is worshipped and groomed in higher education, we all live most of our lives through our feeling, sensing, emotionally-responsive mind. The emotional mind is where our identities lie, where intuition and pre-logical impressions give rise to new insights, where appreciation for beauty and pleasure lie, and where we relate to other living things. The feeling mind is most of who we are..
The most common fallacy of this day is: "I think, therefore everything I am is what I think." Astonishingly, most people are usually aware of what they think (the internal verbalizations), rather than what they feel. The most difficult task a therapist has is getting a patient to describe his or her own feelings. Many patients literally don't know what they feel—are cut off from their emotions; others simply find describing them a daunting task. We use language to attempt to transcribe our emotions to another, but much is lost in the translation even for the most expressive of us. (Language is, after all, a translation of what happens in the brain, not the actual event). Worse, most people believe that they can make themselves feel a certain way, can think themselves into a different mood. Not so. A person cannot direct, but only influence his/her emotional life. No one can will him- or herself to love the right mate, to want the right thing, or to be happy after a sad event. We humans frequently castigate ourselves for our failure to will emotional change, when in reality emotion cannot be commanded and does not bend to will..
Anatomy Lesson
Evolutionary processes are responsible for how the human brain is constructed and functions. Evolution does not happen linearly, progressing along a predictable path. It is a haphazard branching process in which recent developments build atop older structures having more fundamental functions, with each newer structure becoming ever more complex, adding functions, altering the workings of previous structures..
The human brain is a triune organ; three main evolutionary levels of anatomy comprise it:
The reptilian brain (brainstem): primitive functions reside here, such as the startle reflex, fear, sex, territorialism, and ritualistic display. It is essential to all automatic functions: heartbeat, breathing, thermostat, swallowing, and visual tracking. The reptilian brain is the oldest of the brain's structures and is deep within the center of the brain, a bulb of neurons atop the spinal cord..
The mammalian brain (limbic system): anger, love, joy, sadness, shame, pride, happiness, mirth, separation anxiety, etc. are processed here. This is where the identity—personhood—resides. The mammalian brain evolved after the reptilian brain, neatly enveloping the bulb of the brainstem. All mammals, and some birds, possess this second stage of brain structure..
The neocortex (reasoning brain): abstraction (art, representation, planning, strategy, symbols, language), free will, communication, and complex skills are processed here. The neocortex is the most recent structure, and is the outermost layer of the brain. Higher mammals and humans have a well-developed neocortex..
The chemistry of primal and recent brain systems is different, evidenced by selective destruction of certain brain cells with specific toxins that leave other structures untouched. Because of this biochemical variance, these "three brains" sometimes have competing interests, creating disharmony and unease..
It is easy for humans to think of themselves as the pinnacle of evolution. However, we are in no way the apex of evolution; we are simply the most recent. We have not been here very long. By far, Komodo dragons and beetles are splendidly successful, and eons older than humans. Nature has yet to show us that our particular kind of intelligence has a decided evolutionary advantage. As evolution continues, nature tries new things, makes many mistakes, and succeeds at only a handful. Nature overproduces. It is grandiose and wasteful in its attempt to ensure survival of just the few who will prevail into new generations. It is quite possible our triune brains may fail us. It is equally possible that new structures will evolve that make complex brains more adaptive than they are now..
What does this have to do with love? Everything. As a mammalian trait, affectionate attachments have survival advantages—not only for mating purposes, but as a security factor in communal living so common with most mammals (including us). We are social animals, and that means very much more than just getting help when we need it, or reproducing. It means truly bonding with others in a way that seems magical..
We share in common with most mammals, a capacity for knowing and loving another that transcends reason, logic, or free will. Our faculty for internally connecting with another of our own kind, or even with a member of a different species, derives from the structure and physiology of our mammalian "feeling" brains. The emotional bond of affectionate attachment is so overwhelming and consuming as to be nearly miraculous. It is as close to mind reading and psychic connection as we—in common experience—can get. The capacity to love, rather than our cognitive skills, may be the very thing that ensures our survival as a species..
Limbic Resonance
Our capacity to emotionally bond with another is mediated through a phenomenon known to physiologists and behaviorists as "limbic resonance." Limbic resonance is the tuning in to another's internal state; it is the most reliable way a mammal can know the emotional state of another without the necessity of translation (facial expressions, language). Limbic resonance occurs in all mammals, but is absent in reptiles, fish, and most birds. It occurs through eye contact, and the sensations multiply through mutual recognition and the continual back and forth feedback. Two nervous systems for an instant become in sync. Limbic resonance is the foundation of the "love at first sight" phenomenon, combined with other factors such as programmed attractors described below. Limbic resonance is responsible for that tickle in the pit of your stomach when you look into the eyes of someone you adore. When you feel that tickle, so does the other, and the feeling propagates and augments the growing attraction, building the affectionate attachment..
Because feelings can "leap from mind to mind" so to speak, the absence of such feedback is disturbing—as in meeting someone you instantly dislike, and can't put your finger on why. Many have lost their ability to fully emotionally resonate with another—becoming insensitive, even cold towards others in favor of reason and logic. People know when they are liked, when others feel comfortable around them. Likewise, a negative internal response from another may be reflected back to them in ways we cannot fully understand, and the feelings of discomfort, of dislike, amplify. It is difficult to befriend or even like someone who cannot resonate with you..
The limbic activity of others around us allows us to achieve almost immediate congruence—it can be felt in a movie theater, or as a surge of emotion as panic propagates through a crowd. The ability to read another's emotional state is older than our own species, yet we distrust it, devalue the sheer joy of being alone with another for the pure experience of his or her inner state, and further isolate ourselves. This is society's legacy of alienation and loneliness, and we suffer immeasurably for it..
The inner state of others must matter to us. It is essential to our survival and to our individual health more than most of us are aware..
Limbic Regulation
The human is a social animal. Human sociability extends far beyond the need for reproduction, for security in numbers, or for commerce. Modern physiology research has discovered that the human body is not a self-regulating, closed-loop organism. Human physiology depends on limbic resonance from others to achieve physiological balance. Homeostasis derives from physiological synchronicity with another. Heart and breathing rate, hormone levels, immune response, sleep rhythms, blood pH, and neurochemistry are influenced by the presence of another or several others, and you in turn, regulate others. Human physiology does not direct all of its own functions; it is interdependent. It must be steadied by the physical presence of another. This is necessary for both physical and emotional health. In many ways, humans cannot be stable on their own—they require another to survive. Health and happiness mean finding people who regulate you well, and staying near them. It is the basis of communal living, and makes ostracism from any social contact the cruelest of punishments. (Luckily, cross-species attachments are equally as valid as human-to-human ones, hence the well-documented benefits of keeping pets)..
Limbic Revision
In a relationship, one mind revises the other's; one heart changes the other's. We are capable of remaking the emotional life of the one we love; and he or she remodels us. Who we are and who we become depends in part on who we love. Yet, we change emotionally over a lifetime, sometimes growing closer and even more compatible; sometimes becoming a stranger to those we were once so attuned with. It is quite possible, that because of this mutual limbic revision and a 50% chance of emotional drift, that marriage is physiologically a 50-50 prospect. Statistically, about 50% of marriages or long relationships tend to fall apart at about the twenty-year mark. Those who divorce find that staying with the "alienated" partner, is more lonely and stressful than being with no one. It is quite possible that "till death do we part" is too much to expect. True life-mates are rare. If you find one, hold that person near for as long as you can..
Surviving Incompatibility and Loss
Contact with loved ones raises natural opiate and seratonin levels. Likewise, artificial increases of seratonin and opiates greatly reduce the pain of losing someone or severing a relationship. Those who need frequent surges of natural opiates will require more contact with loved ones than those who are less opiate-sensitive..
This is yet another factor in determining how compatible two people may be—do you have the same needs for a rush of brain chemistry?
Mismatched chemistries can become a contest of wills, wherein one requires cuddles while the other craves solitude. The emotionally needy partner will feel neglected and rejected; the more independent partner will feel suffocated and controlled. Such discord can change the brain chemistry of each partner to such an extent as to destroy any feelings of love and dissolve an affectionate attachment. One or both partners will be said to be "in a mood," a state of enhanced readiness to experience a particular emotion. Someone who stays in a bad mood for a long time has been repeatedly stimulated to experience a single emotion, and he or she rides that swirling vortex for weeks on end. The neocortex, with its ability to hypothesize, stimulates the limbic brain to respond. The limbic brain, unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality, responds even when no real threat exists. In fact, brain scans reveal that perception and imagination stimulate the exact same brain areas. This means that your perceptions of your partners intentions and behavior can rule how you respond to your partner, regardless of your partner's true intentions..
Memory and Emotion
Emotions do indeed color the recall of experience. If the emotion is strong enough, it can inhibit opposing feelings so completely as to make the memories of those opposing emotions completely inaccessible. A person can effectively change history in his own head. Rage can make a man strike the woman he forgets he loves. Likewise, strong emotions serve to amplify responses to nearly benign experiences: past abuses can greatly amplify a response to an angry expression; a mildly sad experience can cascade into a nightmare of depression. Experience rewires the brain: what it has experienced dictates what it can experience; how much feeling was associated with past experiences influences and perhaps amplifies subsequent similar experiences, or even intimations of similar experiences..
Attractors and Love Attachments
Limbic resonance, limbic revision, and limbic recognition are not the only factors influencing our love choices. Your lifetime bonding experiences teach you how love works, creates your attractors (those tiny behaviors or qualities in others that you associated with love in your earliest years), which in turn influences who you love. Given the pre-logical character of the limbic system, love choices sometimes make little sense. The neocortex isn't the brain making the decision or guiding the heart..
Being "in love" with someone encompasses three characteristics: the belief that this one person fits in a way no one else can or will; the need for skin-to-skin closeness; the urge to disregard all else. It is a kind of madness, and it is temporary. Truly loving another necessitates knowing the other through sustained and prolonged intimacy; sharing a life, a mutuality of limbic resonance and regulation..
Staying in a relationship that deviates from one's "ideal model" (the person who possesses the appropriate attractors, resonates with us, and regulates us well) is living in a disturbed isolation. It is the most miserable kind of loneliness. Yet, most people will stay in a terrible relationship with someone their limbic brain recognizes, rather than be in a boringly pleasant relationship with a kinder partner..
Unhealthy Attachments
People who require limbic revision (rather than simply respond over time), usually have pathological attractors. Negative incidents and behaviors become associated with love. These people may pick fights or nag their mates for the reward of "making up," create unease through jealousy, or do other negative things to keep the "zest" in the relationship. These people drain others, and leach the life out of those they love. They are so needy as to have nothing whatsoever to give, but can only take through creating discord and animosity. They are eternally unhappy, but not for any particular reason. Healthier potential mates may steer clear of someone they sense is perpetually unhappy. These people can benefit most from the bond between therapist and patient. Two people who require limbic revision are the last two people who can help each other..
Love's Future
What we do inside relationships is the most important aspect of life. Modern American life embraces activities and attitudes that not only discourage limbic resonance and love, but seek to destroy it...
The Internet is exemplary of the escalating syndrome of self-imposed isolation while engaged in seeking out contact with others that cannot possibly benefit us physiologically if such contact remains electronic. The Internet is often touted as a global community, but we do not resonate with others. When we are online, we are alone. This paradox occurs to few; the consequences of such isolation has yet to be studied and assessed..
The damaging affects of parental absence during infancy through "toddlerhood" are well documented. Yet, society devalues, even shames parents who choose to parent full-time, rather than work outside the home. The incessant drone of advertisements encourages getting love through things rather than through other humans. Material gain and social status become all-consuming, and relationships are considered disposable to materialistic ideals. Only those with the courage to reject America's values—social status, titles, expensive vacations, Madison Avenue physiques, designer possessions everywhere—will have a decent life in creating time for loving others, and being loved in return..
References:
* Becker, Ernest. Escape from Evil, Free Press, 1975..
* Dennett, Daniel. Consciousness Explained, Little, Brown and Company, 1991..
* Jaynes, Julian. The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, Houghton Mifflin Company, 1976..
* Lewis, Thomas M.D., Amini, Fari, M.D., and Lannon, Richard, M.D. A General Theory of Love, Random House, 2000..
* Morris, Desmond; Intimate Behaviour, Random House, 1971..
* Rand, Ayn; Philosophy: Who Needs It, Bobs-Merrill, 1982..
* Russell, Bertrand; Philosophical Essays, Simon and Schuster, 1967..
* Schneider, Allen M., and Tarshis, Barry; An Introduction to Physiological Psychology, Random House, 1975..
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
An Essay By Einstien
The World As I See It
An Essay by Einstein
"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...
"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible..
"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."
"My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality... The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling..
"This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!..
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."..
luv/luck/happiness
An Essay by Einstein
"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...
"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible..
"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."
"My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality... The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling..
"This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!..
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."..
luv/luck/happiness
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Searching the brain for happiness
Searching the brain for happiness
By Dr Morten L Kringelbach
Neuroscientist at the University of Oxford
For thousands of years people have pursued happiness, but the problem has been that it has always been seen as a kind of fuzzy concept.
But now, in a new BBC Two series called The Happiness Formula, neuroscientists say happiness is tangible and the result of brain activity - you can see it and even measure it. Dr Kringelbach is a contributor to the programme.
In November 2005 the Dalai Lama was invited to speak at the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience in Washington DC.
While this event was not without controversy, his speech was generally well received and surprised many scientists with his remarkable open-mindedness, particularly concerning the validity of neuroscientific enquiry.
The Dalai Lama described a normal person's mind as "a troublemaker" and confessed that he "still feels anger and fear".
Meditation, he said, can help. But he was not adverse to other paths and volunteered himself as a patient if neuroscientists wanted to pursue easier ways to quell the "troublemakers of the mind".
The pursuit of happiness is a preoccupation for many of us and has probably been since the dawn of mankind.
Yet few of us come close to achieving this state with any regularity.
And even when happiness finally descends upon us, we often only realise it after the fact.
The neuroscience of happiness and well-being is still in its infancy.
So far, the focus of research has been on two related but perhaps somewhat distant cousins: pleasure and desire.
Reward would seem to be central to both of these states and so has been studied in other animals by behavioural psychologists since at least the beginning of the 20th century.
Pleasure centre
In studies during the 1950s psychologists James Olds and Peter Milner working at McGill University in Canada, found that rats would repeatedly press levers to receive tiny jolts of current injected through electrodes implanted deep within their brains.
When this brain stimulation was targeted at certain areas of the brain the rats would repeatedly press the lever - even up to 2000 times per hour.
In fact they would stop almost all other normal behaviours, including feeding, drinking and sex.
These findings seemed to suggest that Olds and Milner had discovered the pleasure centre in the brain, and it turns out that these overlap with the regions damaged in Parkinson's disease.
The main chemical aiding neural signalling in these regions is dopamine, and so it was quickly dubbed the brain's "pleasure chemical".
Additional human studies during the 1960s by Robert Heath at Tulane University in the US tried to take advantage of these findings in some ethically questionable experiments on mentally ill patients.
Infamously, they even implanted electrodes to try to cure homosexuality. This line of research was eventually stopped.
Although the researchers also found compulsive lever pressing in some patients, it is not clear from these patients' subjective reports that the electrodes did indeed cause real pleasure.
Wanting and liking
Instead, recent work by Kent Berridge, at the University of Michigan in the US, indicates that the electrodes may have been activating the anatomical regions that are involved in desire rather than pleasure.
Investigating reward systems in rats, Berridge found that they have specific facial expressions for pleasant and nasty tasting foods.
Sugary food makes them lick their lips contentedly - just as human infants do, whereas a bitter taste leads to a disgusted, lip-curling expression.
When Berridge manipulated the rats' dopamine levels, he found that their expressions remained unchanged.
Berridge is therefore proposing a distinction between desire and pleasure - wanting and liking - in terms of both the brain regions and the neurochemical substances that mediate these subjective states.
The dopamine system appears to encode desire while the opioid system, which contains our own natural morphine-like compounds, is closer to pleasure.
It is clear, however, that rats are different from humans.
Pleasure and desire are complex emotions in humans, and so there are still many interesting things to learn.
Central to current research is a brain region called the orbitofrontal cortex, a brain region that is evolutionary more recently developed in humans and has connections to both the opioid and dopamine systems.
Using neuroimaging, we have found that it contains regions that correlate with subjective reports of pleasure.
What can this research ultimately tell us about happiness, pleasure and desire?
Contentment
Could happiness be best described as pleasure without desire, a state of contentment and indifference?
Such a state is perhaps akin to the kind of bliss that buddhists actively seek through meditation.
If so, it is possible that neuroscientists may one day find ways to help induce this state.
We might then have choice of a true utilitarian society where the overall happiness can really be maximized just as the 18th century philosopher Jeremy Bentham wanted.
Although the question of whether such a society would be desirable and pleasurable still remains to be answered.
The Dalai Lama was clearly interested in the end state of happiness, rather than the means by which it is achieved.
However, he also spoke of how humans have "much conflicting emotion, much bad emotion, jealousy, anger, fear. This is our great troublemaker."
He reminded the audience of the "fundamental values of compassion and affection" that are "important to the development of body and brain".
It would seem prudent for future research on happiness, pleasure and desire not to ignore this compassionate plea for human dignity, while tinkering with the very core of what makes us human.
Dr Morten Kringelbach is a contributor to The Happiness Formula which is broadcast on BBC Two on Wednesdays at 1900 BST.
BBC TWO
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/4880272.stm
Published: 2006/05/02 19:11:41 GMT
By Dr Morten L Kringelbach
Neuroscientist at the University of Oxford
For thousands of years people have pursued happiness, but the problem has been that it has always been seen as a kind of fuzzy concept.
But now, in a new BBC Two series called The Happiness Formula, neuroscientists say happiness is tangible and the result of brain activity - you can see it and even measure it. Dr Kringelbach is a contributor to the programme.
In November 2005 the Dalai Lama was invited to speak at the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience in Washington DC.
While this event was not without controversy, his speech was generally well received and surprised many scientists with his remarkable open-mindedness, particularly concerning the validity of neuroscientific enquiry.
The Dalai Lama described a normal person's mind as "a troublemaker" and confessed that he "still feels anger and fear".
Meditation, he said, can help. But he was not adverse to other paths and volunteered himself as a patient if neuroscientists wanted to pursue easier ways to quell the "troublemakers of the mind".
The pursuit of happiness is a preoccupation for many of us and has probably been since the dawn of mankind.
Yet few of us come close to achieving this state with any regularity.
And even when happiness finally descends upon us, we often only realise it after the fact.
The neuroscience of happiness and well-being is still in its infancy.
So far, the focus of research has been on two related but perhaps somewhat distant cousins: pleasure and desire.
Reward would seem to be central to both of these states and so has been studied in other animals by behavioural psychologists since at least the beginning of the 20th century.
Pleasure centre
In studies during the 1950s psychologists James Olds and Peter Milner working at McGill University in Canada, found that rats would repeatedly press levers to receive tiny jolts of current injected through electrodes implanted deep within their brains.
When this brain stimulation was targeted at certain areas of the brain the rats would repeatedly press the lever - even up to 2000 times per hour.
In fact they would stop almost all other normal behaviours, including feeding, drinking and sex.
These findings seemed to suggest that Olds and Milner had discovered the pleasure centre in the brain, and it turns out that these overlap with the regions damaged in Parkinson's disease.
The main chemical aiding neural signalling in these regions is dopamine, and so it was quickly dubbed the brain's "pleasure chemical".
Additional human studies during the 1960s by Robert Heath at Tulane University in the US tried to take advantage of these findings in some ethically questionable experiments on mentally ill patients.
Infamously, they even implanted electrodes to try to cure homosexuality. This line of research was eventually stopped.
Although the researchers also found compulsive lever pressing in some patients, it is not clear from these patients' subjective reports that the electrodes did indeed cause real pleasure.
Wanting and liking
Instead, recent work by Kent Berridge, at the University of Michigan in the US, indicates that the electrodes may have been activating the anatomical regions that are involved in desire rather than pleasure.
Investigating reward systems in rats, Berridge found that they have specific facial expressions for pleasant and nasty tasting foods.
Sugary food makes them lick their lips contentedly - just as human infants do, whereas a bitter taste leads to a disgusted, lip-curling expression.
When Berridge manipulated the rats' dopamine levels, he found that their expressions remained unchanged.
Berridge is therefore proposing a distinction between desire and pleasure - wanting and liking - in terms of both the brain regions and the neurochemical substances that mediate these subjective states.
The dopamine system appears to encode desire while the opioid system, which contains our own natural morphine-like compounds, is closer to pleasure.
It is clear, however, that rats are different from humans.
Pleasure and desire are complex emotions in humans, and so there are still many interesting things to learn.
Central to current research is a brain region called the orbitofrontal cortex, a brain region that is evolutionary more recently developed in humans and has connections to both the opioid and dopamine systems.
Using neuroimaging, we have found that it contains regions that correlate with subjective reports of pleasure.
What can this research ultimately tell us about happiness, pleasure and desire?
Contentment
Could happiness be best described as pleasure without desire, a state of contentment and indifference?
Such a state is perhaps akin to the kind of bliss that buddhists actively seek through meditation.
If so, it is possible that neuroscientists may one day find ways to help induce this state.
We might then have choice of a true utilitarian society where the overall happiness can really be maximized just as the 18th century philosopher Jeremy Bentham wanted.
Although the question of whether such a society would be desirable and pleasurable still remains to be answered.
The Dalai Lama was clearly interested in the end state of happiness, rather than the means by which it is achieved.
However, he also spoke of how humans have "much conflicting emotion, much bad emotion, jealousy, anger, fear. This is our great troublemaker."
He reminded the audience of the "fundamental values of compassion and affection" that are "important to the development of body and brain".
It would seem prudent for future research on happiness, pleasure and desire not to ignore this compassionate plea for human dignity, while tinkering with the very core of what makes us human.
Dr Morten Kringelbach is a contributor to The Happiness Formula which is broadcast on BBC Two on Wednesdays at 1900 BST.
BBC TWO
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/4880272.stm
Published: 2006/05/02 19:11:41 GMT
Monday, December 8, 2008
Happiness is contageous
Yes, It's Catching | Discovery News Video .Dec. 5, 2008 -- When you're smiling, the whole world really does smile with you.
A paper being published Friday in a British medical journal concludes that happiness is contagious -- and that people pass on their good cheer even to total strangers.
American researchers who tracked more than 4,700 people in Framingham, Mass., as part of a 20-year heart study also found the transferred happiness is good for up to a year.
"Happiness is like a stampede," said Nicholas Christakis, a professor in Harvard University's sociology department and co-author of the study. "Whether you're happy depends not just on your own actions and behaviors and thoughts, but on those of people you don't even know."
Related Content: While the study is another sign of the power of social networks, it ran through 2003, just before the rise of social networking Web sites like Friendster, MySpace and Facebook. Christakis couldn't say for sure whether the effect works online.
"This type of technology enhances your contact with friends, so it should support the kind of emotional contagion we observed," he said.
Christakis and co-author James Fowler, of the University of California in San Diego, are old hands at studying social networks. They previously found that obesity and smoking habits spread socially as well.
For this study, published in the British journal BMJ, they examined questionnaires that asked people to measure their happiness. They found distinct happy and unhappy clusters significantly bigger than would be expected by chance.
Happy people tended to be at the center of social networks and had many friends who were also happy. Having friends or siblings nearby increased people's chances of being upbeat. Happiness spread outward by three degrees, to the friends of friends of friends.
Happy spouses helped, too, but not as much as happy friends of the same gender. Experts think people, particularly woman, take emotional cues from people who look like them.
Christakis and Fowler estimate that each happy friend boosts your own chances of being happy by 9 percent. Having grumpy friends decreases it by about 7 percent.
But it also turns out misery don't love company: Happiness seemed to spread more consistently than unhappiness. But that doesn't mean you should drop your gloomy friends.
"Every friend increases the probability that you're at the center of a network, which means you are more eligible to get a wave of happiness," Fowler said.
Being happy also brings other benefits, including a protective effect on your immune system so you produce fewer stress hormones, said Andrew Steptoe, a psychology professor at University College London who was not involved with the study.
But you shouldn't assume you can make yourself happy just by making the right friends.
"To say you can manipulate who your friends are to make yourself happier would be going too far," said Stanley Wasserman, an Indiana University statistician who studies social networks.
The study was only conducted in a single community, so it would take more research to confirm its findings. But in a time of economic gloom, it also suggested some heartening news about money and happiness.
According to the research, an extra chunk of money increases your odds of being happy only marginally -- notably less than the odds of being happier if you have a happy friend.
"You can save your money," Christakis said. "Being around happy people is better."
A paper being published Friday in a British medical journal concludes that happiness is contagious -- and that people pass on their good cheer even to total strangers.
American researchers who tracked more than 4,700 people in Framingham, Mass., as part of a 20-year heart study also found the transferred happiness is good for up to a year.
"Happiness is like a stampede," said Nicholas Christakis, a professor in Harvard University's sociology department and co-author of the study. "Whether you're happy depends not just on your own actions and behaviors and thoughts, but on those of people you don't even know."
Related Content: While the study is another sign of the power of social networks, it ran through 2003, just before the rise of social networking Web sites like Friendster, MySpace and Facebook. Christakis couldn't say for sure whether the effect works online.
"This type of technology enhances your contact with friends, so it should support the kind of emotional contagion we observed," he said.
Christakis and co-author James Fowler, of the University of California in San Diego, are old hands at studying social networks. They previously found that obesity and smoking habits spread socially as well.
For this study, published in the British journal BMJ, they examined questionnaires that asked people to measure their happiness. They found distinct happy and unhappy clusters significantly bigger than would be expected by chance.
Happy people tended to be at the center of social networks and had many friends who were also happy. Having friends or siblings nearby increased people's chances of being upbeat. Happiness spread outward by three degrees, to the friends of friends of friends.
Happy spouses helped, too, but not as much as happy friends of the same gender. Experts think people, particularly woman, take emotional cues from people who look like them.
Christakis and Fowler estimate that each happy friend boosts your own chances of being happy by 9 percent. Having grumpy friends decreases it by about 7 percent.
But it also turns out misery don't love company: Happiness seemed to spread more consistently than unhappiness. But that doesn't mean you should drop your gloomy friends.
"Every friend increases the probability that you're at the center of a network, which means you are more eligible to get a wave of happiness," Fowler said.
Being happy also brings other benefits, including a protective effect on your immune system so you produce fewer stress hormones, said Andrew Steptoe, a psychology professor at University College London who was not involved with the study.
But you shouldn't assume you can make yourself happy just by making the right friends.
"To say you can manipulate who your friends are to make yourself happier would be going too far," said Stanley Wasserman, an Indiana University statistician who studies social networks.
The study was only conducted in a single community, so it would take more research to confirm its findings. But in a time of economic gloom, it also suggested some heartening news about money and happiness.
According to the research, an extra chunk of money increases your odds of being happy only marginally -- notably less than the odds of being happier if you have a happy friend.
"You can save your money," Christakis said. "Being around happy people is better."
Mind Matters Most
MMM : Mind Matters Most
“Mastery of speech is good, mastery of physical actions is good, but one who masters the mind is a real warrior.” Can’t remember where I read this quote, but it left an impression.
Like many, I went through my midlife crisis and struggled to find answers to questions such as, what is the meaning of life; what is my purpose and what is real happiness? I thought that if I could answer these questions I could then understand how to my mind works and how I would master it?
Had heard of hypnosis and thought that, it would be an easy way to conquer the mind. I’ll just lie on a couch and allow a qualified hypnotist perform surgery on my mind. It did not work! I came out of hypnosis exactly the way I had gone in. My mind was still unsettled. Next I went to a healer and then a fortune teller in the hope of getting answers to my questions. Each time I came out even more disillusioned and confused.
I started doing my own research and almost all research pointed me towards meditation.
Just the word “meditation” puts me in a state of unease as I am one of those who can’t stay still even for a minute and meditation is all about stilling the mind and focusing on a single thought.
But I had made up my mind to become a mind warrior “As an archer aims an arrow, a carpenter carves wood, the wise shape their lives.” The Dhamppada
I had to shape my own life as I was the only one in control of it. I had read about a Buddhist meditation technique called Vipassana. Some friends had gone for the 10 day course and had come out feeling transformed. I felt compelled towards it and thought I’d give it a try. All I had to do was have no contact with the outside world, have two vegetarian meals a day and observe noble silence for the duration of my stay. Noble silence means absolutely no talking or communicating in any way with the fellow meditators. That sounded a bit of a challenge.
Well I guess the road to wisdom and mastery would demand a few sacrifices!
Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion.
So I drove myself to Karnal (a little village in the north of India) on the eve of the 10 day course. There were a few others signing in. I looked around to see the expression on people's faces looking for some kind of assurance, anything to make me feel that I would survive the 10 days. I had heard so many people talk about how strict and tough the regime was that I needed assurance to be able to handle the so called penance camp.
At around 6.00 pm we all gathered in the hall where we were asked to get rid of personal belongings such as phones, books, wallets, note books, pens etc. Anything that would distract us from the complete immersion into our minds.
As I started giving away my life lines, I started feeling very uneasy and broke the first rule. I snuck a phone in my bag, promising myself not to use it, but just having it in my possession gave me the much needed support structure. We were told about the rules and regulations and starting 8.00 pm that night would be the last time we would be allowed to speak for the next 10 days.
I was ready for the challenge!!!!
Day 1
4.00 am the bell rings right outside my door but I had been hearing sounds since 3.30 am as there were some rather enthusiastic attendees who had woken up at 3.15 am and were already queuing for the bathrooms and shower. So, kicking and dragging myself out of the bed I went and stood in line for my turn to use the facilities. Nobody even acknowledged each other, we all stood there like zombies letting our imaginations run wild and judging each other in our MINDS. Our monkey minds had not been tamed yet.
4.30 am we all gather in the meditation hall and are played a tape guiding us as to what to do. The focus was mainly on the breath, the technique is called anapana where one is asked only to observe the breath.
How in the world was I supposed to observe my breath? Do I look for movement in my chest? Do I look out for tiny particles of moisture coming out of my breath? What was I supposed to do? How does one watch their breath?
Well, all I was supposed to do was to concentrate on my breathing and acknowledge the incoming and outgoing breath without any judgment or expectation. Sounds easy but trust me; it is one of the most difficult things to do.
Having woken up with the birds was starting to take its toll on me. Trying to watch my breath, I started to doze off. I very quietly snuck out to the back of the room and drifted into slumber land. My freedom was however short lived. Within about 2 min or so I got a slight nudge on my shoulder; it was one of the helpers. She very politely asked me not to doze and try and sit still. After all I was here to learn meditation and the number one enemy of meditation is SLOTH!
My boarding and lodging was completely free, all I had to do was to follow the 5 percepts ( to abstain from killing any being; to abstain from stealing; to abstain from all sexual activity; to abstain from telling lies; to abstain from all intoxicants) and conduct myself according to the laid down code of discipline. It sounded easy in the beginning, but only two hours into the first day and I wanted to run away and find my way back into the comfort of my bed.
6.30 -7.00 am was breakfast time and 7.00 -9.00 was time for Q&A with the teacher. Most of us ran back after breakfast and went straight to bed for a quick nap. I think I passed out; 8.45 the bell tolled again.
We were asked to be seated for the next round of meditation that went from 9.00 am to 11.30 am. Two and a half hours of sitting cross legged, eyes shut and watching my breath, I was losing my head. I had absolutely no concentration; I just couldn’t seem to focus. All I kept thinking was; why was I doing this to myself? What madness had descended over me that propelled me into such masochism?
Eventually the bell rang, informing us about the lunch hour.
All went straight into the dining room for a simple yet tasteful vegetarian meal. Hunger and desperation made the food taste fantastic. Lunch was from 11.30 to 12.30 and then about an hour of freedom followed by Q &A with the teacher.
At 2.30 pm back into the meditation hall for two more hours of watching the breath. This time it was just impossible to keep my eyes open, started to nod off yet again, but this time I was woken up by this extremely cacophonous burp that reverberated in the pin drop silence. I was jolted out of my reverie and brought right back into the inner me. Not a sound from anyone, and I was dying to laugh. I looked around the room, and only another newcomer had a faint smile, but the rest were like statues, unmoved and unaffected. In the next 9 days I was to hear so many different sounds that this seemed like a melody.
Somehow got through the day. 7.00 pm was the time for discourse where we were told about why we did what we did. This was the best part of the day. At least there was an explanation, to the madness.
According to Goenka ji, the modern day guru of Vipassana, “meditation means a continuous detachment from the body, mind, name and form. We have to detach ourselves from the day to day activities. Unclutter our mind from the mindless chatter and bring our focus inwards. Through meditation the scientific laws that operate one's thoughts, feelings, judgments and sensations become clear. Through direct experience, the nature of how one grows or regresses, how one produces suffering or frees oneself from suffering is understood. Life becomes characterized by increased awareness, non-delusion, self-control and peace. ”
By the time I went back to my room, I was completely in awe of myself. I had managed to go one full day without speaking and actually internalizing.
This was just day 1…………… I had 9 more to go.
I could describe each day in detail; but that would take almost half a book, so let me cut to the chase and come to the part where I can share some real pearls of wisdom.
As I continued to sit cross legged on the floor for the next 9 days, my whole life kept flashing in front of me. My achievements, my mistakes, my pains, my sorrow and my joy. In the silence, I heard so much noise that I thought my brain would explode. As the days kept progressing the noise kept getting louder. I hated every minute of being there. It felt like an experience straight out of a very dark movie where you are the only survivor.
By the 7th day I had a break down. I cried till I had no more tears. I wanted to run away from what felt like a jail. I wanted to scream and shout and call names, I threw up and felt sick in my stomach.
I don’t think I was getting any wiser or calmer. Seeing my distraught state, the teacher summoned me and explained to me what really was happening. I was experiencing deep cleansing.
All our life we keep burying our pains and sorrows deep within. We suppress our feelings and muffle our thoughts in the external noise so they either transform into physical or mental ailments.
Seven days of complete silence and introspection had brought all the deep seated issues to the surface and they were now being purged. I was experiencing the emotional and physical signs of release. The catharsis had begun.
After all the purging I felt much lighter and calmer. I didn’t feel like a prisoner anymore. I felt liberated, not only physically but mentally.
Two more days of the regimented life and we would soon be free to join the real world. The world that we have chosen to create for ourselves. The world full of so much external noise that the internal dialogue gets completely muffled. The world where our ego gets pumped and it gets shattered. The world where we experience pain and joy as rides of the roller coaster. The world that we believe to be real.
Finally the 10th day arrives. We can now break our vow of silence.
By now something huge has happened. I could feel a transformation in my chemical makeup. I experienced strange energies which were almost orgasmic. I can’t explain, but it felt as if my whole being had regenerated.
I just didn’t feel like talking. This was a revelation; unfortunately the urge not to speak did not stay for too long. Within about an hour I was back to being my old chatty self.
But something somewhere changed.
No, I have not yet become a master of my mind, neither have I attained nirvana, but I surely have come to the realization that I do not have to depend on hypnotists, therapists , healers and fortune tellers to tell me how to heal my life. All I have to do is dig deep enough and long enough.
Each person that attends Vipassana has a different experience, for some it is joyful, for some extremely painful, but for all it is life changing.
Would I do it again?
Would love to, but am still trying to gather the courage.
Would I recommend it?
Absolutely yes. Even if the only reason was “because it is there”.
For more information please visit www.dhamma.org
Luv/luck/happiness.
Shveitta sethi
“Mastery of speech is good, mastery of physical actions is good, but one who masters the mind is a real warrior.” Can’t remember where I read this quote, but it left an impression.
Like many, I went through my midlife crisis and struggled to find answers to questions such as, what is the meaning of life; what is my purpose and what is real happiness? I thought that if I could answer these questions I could then understand how to my mind works and how I would master it?
Had heard of hypnosis and thought that, it would be an easy way to conquer the mind. I’ll just lie on a couch and allow a qualified hypnotist perform surgery on my mind. It did not work! I came out of hypnosis exactly the way I had gone in. My mind was still unsettled. Next I went to a healer and then a fortune teller in the hope of getting answers to my questions. Each time I came out even more disillusioned and confused.
I started doing my own research and almost all research pointed me towards meditation.
Just the word “meditation” puts me in a state of unease as I am one of those who can’t stay still even for a minute and meditation is all about stilling the mind and focusing on a single thought.
But I had made up my mind to become a mind warrior “As an archer aims an arrow, a carpenter carves wood, the wise shape their lives.” The Dhamppada
I had to shape my own life as I was the only one in control of it. I had read about a Buddhist meditation technique called Vipassana. Some friends had gone for the 10 day course and had come out feeling transformed. I felt compelled towards it and thought I’d give it a try. All I had to do was have no contact with the outside world, have two vegetarian meals a day and observe noble silence for the duration of my stay. Noble silence means absolutely no talking or communicating in any way with the fellow meditators. That sounded a bit of a challenge.
Well I guess the road to wisdom and mastery would demand a few sacrifices!
Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion.
So I drove myself to Karnal (a little village in the north of India) on the eve of the 10 day course. There were a few others signing in. I looked around to see the expression on people's faces looking for some kind of assurance, anything to make me feel that I would survive the 10 days. I had heard so many people talk about how strict and tough the regime was that I needed assurance to be able to handle the so called penance camp.
At around 6.00 pm we all gathered in the hall where we were asked to get rid of personal belongings such as phones, books, wallets, note books, pens etc. Anything that would distract us from the complete immersion into our minds.
As I started giving away my life lines, I started feeling very uneasy and broke the first rule. I snuck a phone in my bag, promising myself not to use it, but just having it in my possession gave me the much needed support structure. We were told about the rules and regulations and starting 8.00 pm that night would be the last time we would be allowed to speak for the next 10 days.
I was ready for the challenge!!!!
Day 1
4.00 am the bell rings right outside my door but I had been hearing sounds since 3.30 am as there were some rather enthusiastic attendees who had woken up at 3.15 am and were already queuing for the bathrooms and shower. So, kicking and dragging myself out of the bed I went and stood in line for my turn to use the facilities. Nobody even acknowledged each other, we all stood there like zombies letting our imaginations run wild and judging each other in our MINDS. Our monkey minds had not been tamed yet.
4.30 am we all gather in the meditation hall and are played a tape guiding us as to what to do. The focus was mainly on the breath, the technique is called anapana where one is asked only to observe the breath.
How in the world was I supposed to observe my breath? Do I look for movement in my chest? Do I look out for tiny particles of moisture coming out of my breath? What was I supposed to do? How does one watch their breath?
Well, all I was supposed to do was to concentrate on my breathing and acknowledge the incoming and outgoing breath without any judgment or expectation. Sounds easy but trust me; it is one of the most difficult things to do.
Having woken up with the birds was starting to take its toll on me. Trying to watch my breath, I started to doze off. I very quietly snuck out to the back of the room and drifted into slumber land. My freedom was however short lived. Within about 2 min or so I got a slight nudge on my shoulder; it was one of the helpers. She very politely asked me not to doze and try and sit still. After all I was here to learn meditation and the number one enemy of meditation is SLOTH!
My boarding and lodging was completely free, all I had to do was to follow the 5 percepts ( to abstain from killing any being; to abstain from stealing; to abstain from all sexual activity; to abstain from telling lies; to abstain from all intoxicants) and conduct myself according to the laid down code of discipline. It sounded easy in the beginning, but only two hours into the first day and I wanted to run away and find my way back into the comfort of my bed.
6.30 -7.00 am was breakfast time and 7.00 -9.00 was time for Q&A with the teacher. Most of us ran back after breakfast and went straight to bed for a quick nap. I think I passed out; 8.45 the bell tolled again.
We were asked to be seated for the next round of meditation that went from 9.00 am to 11.30 am. Two and a half hours of sitting cross legged, eyes shut and watching my breath, I was losing my head. I had absolutely no concentration; I just couldn’t seem to focus. All I kept thinking was; why was I doing this to myself? What madness had descended over me that propelled me into such masochism?
Eventually the bell rang, informing us about the lunch hour.
All went straight into the dining room for a simple yet tasteful vegetarian meal. Hunger and desperation made the food taste fantastic. Lunch was from 11.30 to 12.30 and then about an hour of freedom followed by Q &A with the teacher.
At 2.30 pm back into the meditation hall for two more hours of watching the breath. This time it was just impossible to keep my eyes open, started to nod off yet again, but this time I was woken up by this extremely cacophonous burp that reverberated in the pin drop silence. I was jolted out of my reverie and brought right back into the inner me. Not a sound from anyone, and I was dying to laugh. I looked around the room, and only another newcomer had a faint smile, but the rest were like statues, unmoved and unaffected. In the next 9 days I was to hear so many different sounds that this seemed like a melody.
Somehow got through the day. 7.00 pm was the time for discourse where we were told about why we did what we did. This was the best part of the day. At least there was an explanation, to the madness.
According to Goenka ji, the modern day guru of Vipassana, “meditation means a continuous detachment from the body, mind, name and form. We have to detach ourselves from the day to day activities. Unclutter our mind from the mindless chatter and bring our focus inwards. Through meditation the scientific laws that operate one's thoughts, feelings, judgments and sensations become clear. Through direct experience, the nature of how one grows or regresses, how one produces suffering or frees oneself from suffering is understood. Life becomes characterized by increased awareness, non-delusion, self-control and peace. ”
By the time I went back to my room, I was completely in awe of myself. I had managed to go one full day without speaking and actually internalizing.
This was just day 1…………… I had 9 more to go.
I could describe each day in detail; but that would take almost half a book, so let me cut to the chase and come to the part where I can share some real pearls of wisdom.
As I continued to sit cross legged on the floor for the next 9 days, my whole life kept flashing in front of me. My achievements, my mistakes, my pains, my sorrow and my joy. In the silence, I heard so much noise that I thought my brain would explode. As the days kept progressing the noise kept getting louder. I hated every minute of being there. It felt like an experience straight out of a very dark movie where you are the only survivor.
By the 7th day I had a break down. I cried till I had no more tears. I wanted to run away from what felt like a jail. I wanted to scream and shout and call names, I threw up and felt sick in my stomach.
I don’t think I was getting any wiser or calmer. Seeing my distraught state, the teacher summoned me and explained to me what really was happening. I was experiencing deep cleansing.
All our life we keep burying our pains and sorrows deep within. We suppress our feelings and muffle our thoughts in the external noise so they either transform into physical or mental ailments.
Seven days of complete silence and introspection had brought all the deep seated issues to the surface and they were now being purged. I was experiencing the emotional and physical signs of release. The catharsis had begun.
After all the purging I felt much lighter and calmer. I didn’t feel like a prisoner anymore. I felt liberated, not only physically but mentally.
Two more days of the regimented life and we would soon be free to join the real world. The world that we have chosen to create for ourselves. The world full of so much external noise that the internal dialogue gets completely muffled. The world where our ego gets pumped and it gets shattered. The world where we experience pain and joy as rides of the roller coaster. The world that we believe to be real.
Finally the 10th day arrives. We can now break our vow of silence.
By now something huge has happened. I could feel a transformation in my chemical makeup. I experienced strange energies which were almost orgasmic. I can’t explain, but it felt as if my whole being had regenerated.
I just didn’t feel like talking. This was a revelation; unfortunately the urge not to speak did not stay for too long. Within about an hour I was back to being my old chatty self.
But something somewhere changed.
No, I have not yet become a master of my mind, neither have I attained nirvana, but I surely have come to the realization that I do not have to depend on hypnotists, therapists , healers and fortune tellers to tell me how to heal my life. All I have to do is dig deep enough and long enough.
Each person that attends Vipassana has a different experience, for some it is joyful, for some extremely painful, but for all it is life changing.
Would I do it again?
Would love to, but am still trying to gather the courage.
Would I recommend it?
Absolutely yes. Even if the only reason was “because it is there”.
For more information please visit www.dhamma.org
Luv/luck/happiness.
Shveitta sethi
Monday, December 1, 2008
Lessons on Life
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no, it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because hey had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that
come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, and the fulfillment of your fall.
luv/luck.happiness
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no, it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because hey had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that
come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, and the fulfillment of your fall.
luv/luck.happiness
Fine tuning
Fine Tuning
I generally listen to classical music in my bath. I put some aroma oils and turn on the music and am transformed into my private sanctuary. It’s almost a ritual; one that I look forward to.
This morning however my sanctuary got transformed into a place of noise and mayhem. I think the dial on my radio station inadvertently got changed and all I could hear was noise and static and a few Cantonese ( Chinese) stations all jumbled together ; creating the most disgusting sound .
I tried to fiddle around with the dial, but somehow could not find the right frequency. The stations kept jumping and my frustration level kept getting higher. I just could not find the right station. I eventually gave up and cursing and shouting stepped into the bath, but not before banging my toe against the tub and almost burning myself with scalding hot water as in my frustration with the radio I forgot to turn on the cold water side. One small glitch in my routine and I started a chain of painful events.
While soaking in the bath, I had the epiphany…. Why not listen to AM instead of FM today. I stepped out and changed channels and …there was Mr. Bryan Ferry crooning earnestly if “I would still love him tomorrow!!!!” Beautiful soulful song and a lovely change from my usual classical music.
Wow! It was that simple. All I had to do was switch channels and if that did not work, I just would have to turn the radio off and enjoy the silence. But it had taken me a good 8-10 minutes to reach this conclusion. Short of throwing the radio in the WC, I had pretty much allowed the anger and frustration get the better of me and I think my daughter was glued outside the bathroom door wondering what her mother was ranting and shouting about? So much for preaching calm and happiness?????
Now the preachy bit…..
Often our lives are put in disarray when we least expect. I was expecting my usual morning ritual and got extremely annoyed with a lifeless radio and started shouting at something that could not hear me or respond to my profanities. Fortunately, I calmed down and switched channels and allowed myself the luxury of a different kind of music.
OK! So this wasn’t such a big deal and you might be scoffing and saying “ yeah so what”?
Life works the same way. From time to time it hands us frequencies that we are not used to. It sounds like complete mayhem and we don’t know how to handle the noise. It may not be a part of our plan. Not something we may have visualized or prepared ourselves for. We get angry and frustrated because we can’t control the outcome.
Now we have two choices, either we stay angry and frustrated and attract even more of the negative frequency into our life, or we calm ourselves down and open ourselves to different and maybe better possibilities.
It does take a bit of introspection and self realization to achieve that state. Anger; fear; frustration; greed and revenge have much lower vibration and thus are easier to attract, but the problem with this is if we attract any one of these lower frequencies, the others get attracted too. So frustration will lead to anger which will lead to revenge and eventual pain.
Love; compassion; altruism; justice; peace or forgiveness on the other hand are higher level frequencies and when we attract one the others automatically follow. According to Plato if we were to organize our life around even one of the higher values all the other higher values will come to us because all these higher values commune together.
Choice is entirely ours… should we choose to lower our vibration and stay with the static and the noise or should we quickly switch channels and attracts the other frequency and get pleasantly surprised??
PS : I made a rather interesting observation today. While I was upset and screaming profanities at the little radio in my bathroom, the static got even louder as if showing me the finger. Eventually when I calmed down even the static calmed down. It does sound weird and trust me I did think it was a bit odd, but I guess we do attract what we give out. My energy field was probably so weak when I was angry that all I could attract was the static, but the moment I calmed down, even the music became clearer and I promise I did not touch that dial.
Luv/luck/happiness
Shveitta Sethi
I generally listen to classical music in my bath. I put some aroma oils and turn on the music and am transformed into my private sanctuary. It’s almost a ritual; one that I look forward to.
This morning however my sanctuary got transformed into a place of noise and mayhem. I think the dial on my radio station inadvertently got changed and all I could hear was noise and static and a few Cantonese ( Chinese) stations all jumbled together ; creating the most disgusting sound .
I tried to fiddle around with the dial, but somehow could not find the right frequency. The stations kept jumping and my frustration level kept getting higher. I just could not find the right station. I eventually gave up and cursing and shouting stepped into the bath, but not before banging my toe against the tub and almost burning myself with scalding hot water as in my frustration with the radio I forgot to turn on the cold water side. One small glitch in my routine and I started a chain of painful events.
While soaking in the bath, I had the epiphany…. Why not listen to AM instead of FM today. I stepped out and changed channels and …there was Mr. Bryan Ferry crooning earnestly if “I would still love him tomorrow!!!!” Beautiful soulful song and a lovely change from my usual classical music.
Wow! It was that simple. All I had to do was switch channels and if that did not work, I just would have to turn the radio off and enjoy the silence. But it had taken me a good 8-10 minutes to reach this conclusion. Short of throwing the radio in the WC, I had pretty much allowed the anger and frustration get the better of me and I think my daughter was glued outside the bathroom door wondering what her mother was ranting and shouting about? So much for preaching calm and happiness?????
Now the preachy bit…..
Often our lives are put in disarray when we least expect. I was expecting my usual morning ritual and got extremely annoyed with a lifeless radio and started shouting at something that could not hear me or respond to my profanities. Fortunately, I calmed down and switched channels and allowed myself the luxury of a different kind of music.
OK! So this wasn’t such a big deal and you might be scoffing and saying “ yeah so what”?
Life works the same way. From time to time it hands us frequencies that we are not used to. It sounds like complete mayhem and we don’t know how to handle the noise. It may not be a part of our plan. Not something we may have visualized or prepared ourselves for. We get angry and frustrated because we can’t control the outcome.
Now we have two choices, either we stay angry and frustrated and attract even more of the negative frequency into our life, or we calm ourselves down and open ourselves to different and maybe better possibilities.
It does take a bit of introspection and self realization to achieve that state. Anger; fear; frustration; greed and revenge have much lower vibration and thus are easier to attract, but the problem with this is if we attract any one of these lower frequencies, the others get attracted too. So frustration will lead to anger which will lead to revenge and eventual pain.
Love; compassion; altruism; justice; peace or forgiveness on the other hand are higher level frequencies and when we attract one the others automatically follow. According to Plato if we were to organize our life around even one of the higher values all the other higher values will come to us because all these higher values commune together.
Choice is entirely ours… should we choose to lower our vibration and stay with the static and the noise or should we quickly switch channels and attracts the other frequency and get pleasantly surprised??
PS : I made a rather interesting observation today. While I was upset and screaming profanities at the little radio in my bathroom, the static got even louder as if showing me the finger. Eventually when I calmed down even the static calmed down. It does sound weird and trust me I did think it was a bit odd, but I guess we do attract what we give out. My energy field was probably so weak when I was angry that all I could attract was the static, but the moment I calmed down, even the music became clearer and I promise I did not touch that dial.
Luv/luck/happiness
Shveitta Sethi
The Secret to Happiness: Stop Caring
Source: IlluminatedMind.net
Our lives are inundated with practicality and productivity. We think that if there’s no purpose to something, there’s no point in doing it. In reality the best things in life have no purpose.
We sacrifice our time and our sanity doing what we don’t want to do, so at some future point we will create the freedom to do what we love.
We seek happiness in things. We seek happiness in the acceptance of others, in material possessions, in social status. We even search for happiness in some future-promised afterlife. We sabotage ourselves and our entire lives because we fail to understand a very simple but easily overlooked fact.
The Search for Happiness is the Single Greatest Cause of Misery
You can’t find something that’s already there. Happiness exists now. It’s not something you have to find. That’s like trying to find your breath.
It’s the grasping of the mind that causes unhappiness. If you’re not happy, it’s because your mind doesn’t allow you be happy. And the reason your mind doesn’t let you be happy, is because you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of productivity, judgment and purpose. That’s not to say productivity is bad, or that doing things that have a purpose is wrong. It’s basing the reason for your existence on them that causes so much anguish.
When we place our happiness solely in "getting" something, completing a certain number of tasks on our to-do list, or achieving a goal, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re like a rabbit with a carrot stick attached to our heads. We keep chasing the carrot, but we never get there. We never stop to think that it might be the chasing that’s causing the problem. We’re too distracted trying to find a better way to beat the game. As soon as we reach one level of success, we’re hurrying to upgrade our search and move on to the next level of the chase. We never stop to think that it’s not the failure to win the game that causes our grief, but the game itself.
We neglect to realize that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the best way to to solve a problem is to just stop caring.
Sometimes…
The best way to solve the problem of not having a lot of cool friends is to stop caring about having cool friends.
The smartest way to be happy with the place you live is to stop caring about living in a two story house with a pool, a fireplace, central air and satellite TV.
The simplest way to be content with yourself is not to achieve greatness and praise, but to accept yourself fully for who you are now.
The quickest route to happiness is to stop caring about finding happiness and to start being happiness.
By not caring, we immediately release ourselves of the grasping of the mind. But it’s not easy to stay in this mindset (the mind loves to grasp); it’s something we have to constantly cultivate.
It’s especially difficult when our society tends to place more value on things, than on experiences. We value what we do more than how we feel.
This is completely ridiculous when you think about it. Because the way you feel should be more important than anything else. Isn’t the purpose of everything you do to feel good? Isn’t the purpose of that new car, that promotion, or college degree to give you a feeling of accomplishment? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy?
The problem with this is we’re basing our happiness on temporary things. We’re deriving our joy from an achievement, or an attainment. This isn’t true happiness; it’s an addiction. We get a short burst of endorphins to our bloodstream from our new TV, or new iPod, and then what happens? It disappears. It leaves us feeling empty and we begin looking for our next fix.
Our advertising and consumer culture doesn’t help this much. We are constantly bombarded with messages that we need this, or we need that. Incessantly, we hear: “Buy this and it will solve your problem!” If only we could solve that problem we may finally be happy. Wrong. It’s not the problems that are the problem. I mean, buying a more efficient vacuum or sowing on that button you’ve been meaning to for seven years is great. You may feel a sense of achievement for a few moments or days. But you’re still looking for happiness in a thing.
It’s the same with productivity. If only we could finish all of the things on our to-do list, could we be content. If only we could accomplish all of our goals, could we finally be gratified. This thinking is based on the illusion that you’ll reach a certain point where everything is done. You finally made it! There’s nothing left in your inbox, all your projects are complete and your lifelong goals are achieved! Now you can rest easy.
But this point never seems to come, does it? That’s because there will always be things to do. There will always be challenges, because everything in life is constantly changing. If you reached a point in your life where you had no more problems, no more struggles, no more worries, life would stop. The game would end and there would be no point left in playing.
So… what can we do about this?
We Need to Stop Caring
That doesn’t mean we stop trying to achieve our goals or striving for personal growth. It just means that we no longer base our happiness on fleeting, semi-permanent things.
There are obviously some situations where not caring may have serious negative consequences (paying your rent). Excessive caring, however, is likely to make you miserable.
The reason caring too much can be detrimental to your health, is you’re so focused on the future. Your identity is too attached to outcomes. If something does, or doesn’t go your way, it will likely have an enduring effect on your mood for the rest of the day.
Instead, we should base our happiness on permanent things. Things that don’t change. Desires that don’t shift from moment to moment. We choose to find our happiness in living. In life itself. In fact, we don’t even need to “find” happiness. We can be happiness.
So stop searching. You can’t find something that’s already there.
Our lives are inundated with practicality and productivity. We think that if there’s no purpose to something, there’s no point in doing it. In reality the best things in life have no purpose.
We sacrifice our time and our sanity doing what we don’t want to do, so at some future point we will create the freedom to do what we love.
We seek happiness in things. We seek happiness in the acceptance of others, in material possessions, in social status. We even search for happiness in some future-promised afterlife. We sabotage ourselves and our entire lives because we fail to understand a very simple but easily overlooked fact.
The Search for Happiness is the Single Greatest Cause of Misery
You can’t find something that’s already there. Happiness exists now. It’s not something you have to find. That’s like trying to find your breath.
It’s the grasping of the mind that causes unhappiness. If you’re not happy, it’s because your mind doesn’t allow you be happy. And the reason your mind doesn’t let you be happy, is because you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of productivity, judgment and purpose. That’s not to say productivity is bad, or that doing things that have a purpose is wrong. It’s basing the reason for your existence on them that causes so much anguish.
When we place our happiness solely in "getting" something, completing a certain number of tasks on our to-do list, or achieving a goal, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re like a rabbit with a carrot stick attached to our heads. We keep chasing the carrot, but we never get there. We never stop to think that it might be the chasing that’s causing the problem. We’re too distracted trying to find a better way to beat the game. As soon as we reach one level of success, we’re hurrying to upgrade our search and move on to the next level of the chase. We never stop to think that it’s not the failure to win the game that causes our grief, but the game itself.
We neglect to realize that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the best way to to solve a problem is to just stop caring.
Sometimes…
The best way to solve the problem of not having a lot of cool friends is to stop caring about having cool friends.
The smartest way to be happy with the place you live is to stop caring about living in a two story house with a pool, a fireplace, central air and satellite TV.
The simplest way to be content with yourself is not to achieve greatness and praise, but to accept yourself fully for who you are now.
The quickest route to happiness is to stop caring about finding happiness and to start being happiness.
By not caring, we immediately release ourselves of the grasping of the mind. But it’s not easy to stay in this mindset (the mind loves to grasp); it’s something we have to constantly cultivate.
It’s especially difficult when our society tends to place more value on things, than on experiences. We value what we do more than how we feel.
This is completely ridiculous when you think about it. Because the way you feel should be more important than anything else. Isn’t the purpose of everything you do to feel good? Isn’t the purpose of that new car, that promotion, or college degree to give you a feeling of accomplishment? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy?
The problem with this is we’re basing our happiness on temporary things. We’re deriving our joy from an achievement, or an attainment. This isn’t true happiness; it’s an addiction. We get a short burst of endorphins to our bloodstream from our new TV, or new iPod, and then what happens? It disappears. It leaves us feeling empty and we begin looking for our next fix.
Our advertising and consumer culture doesn’t help this much. We are constantly bombarded with messages that we need this, or we need that. Incessantly, we hear: “Buy this and it will solve your problem!” If only we could solve that problem we may finally be happy. Wrong. It’s not the problems that are the problem. I mean, buying a more efficient vacuum or sowing on that button you’ve been meaning to for seven years is great. You may feel a sense of achievement for a few moments or days. But you’re still looking for happiness in a thing.
It’s the same with productivity. If only we could finish all of the things on our to-do list, could we be content. If only we could accomplish all of our goals, could we finally be gratified. This thinking is based on the illusion that you’ll reach a certain point where everything is done. You finally made it! There’s nothing left in your inbox, all your projects are complete and your lifelong goals are achieved! Now you can rest easy.
But this point never seems to come, does it? That’s because there will always be things to do. There will always be challenges, because everything in life is constantly changing. If you reached a point in your life where you had no more problems, no more struggles, no more worries, life would stop. The game would end and there would be no point left in playing.
So… what can we do about this?
We Need to Stop Caring
That doesn’t mean we stop trying to achieve our goals or striving for personal growth. It just means that we no longer base our happiness on fleeting, semi-permanent things.
There are obviously some situations where not caring may have serious negative consequences (paying your rent). Excessive caring, however, is likely to make you miserable.
The reason caring too much can be detrimental to your health, is you’re so focused on the future. Your identity is too attached to outcomes. If something does, or doesn’t go your way, it will likely have an enduring effect on your mood for the rest of the day.
Instead, we should base our happiness on permanent things. Things that don’t change. Desires that don’t shift from moment to moment. We choose to find our happiness in living. In life itself. In fact, we don’t even need to “find” happiness. We can be happiness.
So stop searching. You can’t find something that’s already there.
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