Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Why Wait??

Why wait till you are about to die to start living??

The doctor comes out looking rather grim and sullen. The look says it all, her cancer has spread and is not containable. She has barely six months to live. The doctor tells her to put her life in order and tell all the loved ones what she feels about them. For a few minutes she is devastated but then suddenly she is euphoric and decides to blow it all up, she finally decides to live!!!
Does the above sound like a movie script? Maybe it does, but it is not, this is a true story. A dear friend passed away a few days ago. She was 38. She was diagnosed with leukemia and by the time it was found out, it was a bit too late. However she really fought and lived every day of her remaining life. She left us all with some beautiful memories.
This reminds me of the movie “ The Last holiday” . Queen Latifa is told by the doctor, she has three weeks to live, and she decides to go for a holiday of a lifetime and blows all her savings. She does things she always wanted to do and visits places that were just a dream. In those three weeks she lives a lifetime. The movie however has a happy ending. Her reports had been mixed up and she was not going to die after all. But having lived for those three weeks she had really found out the true meaning of life and suddenly her life has a whole new meaning.
Unfortunately, my friend’s story did not have a happy ending. She passed away. But she really lived it up in the last few months of her life. Although weak and tired most of the time, she showed all of us the power of will. Her body was weak, but her will was strong. She travelled to all the places she wanted to, she even went bungee jumping and took dance lessons, she learn’t meditation and yoga. When she passed away, she looked peaceful and serene. She had actually lived before she died.
Only if she had lived when she was alive. She was a beautiful soul, but was not at peace, she was not married and this had been a major disappointment in her life. Mr. Right had somehow never showed up. She had been in a long term relationship but somehow when that did not work out; she had gone into a shell. She then became very critical and cynical of people and life. Every man she met, she would find something about him that she mistrusted. According to her, he was either married and wanted just an affair or was not willing to commit. He had children, he lived overseas, did not have a stable job and so on. If it was not this, it was that. She had gone to various fortune tellers, tarot card readers , palmists and feng shiu masters to find out about her future. Not one of them told her about her short life. All they said was, she would marry at a late age and would be very successful in her career. She was a successful lawyer. She had it all, a great job, a lovely house, enough money and loving friends, but she was very unhappy because all she wanted was a Mr. Right.
It is said that almost all physical ailments have an emotional trigger point, even something like a common cold will only attack you when you are emotionally weak and vulnerable. Cancer is definitely related to emotions, specially unmet needs and cynicism . You may want to debate this issue, but if you look around, there is generally a co-relation between illnesses and emotions, in fact Louise Hay – a well known author has even written a book about the various illnesses and their emotional biases.
I am pretty convinced about this and the more I dig the more convinced I get.
Why wait till we are about to die to start living? All our life we are waiting for something or someone to make us happy. Only if I could get that car, only if I could be promoted to Vice President, only if I could get married , or in some cases –divorced, only if I could have a child, only if my child became a genius…so many only if’s make our happiness conditional and lead us towards unhappiness. Again there might be some of you who will disagree with me and claim to be happy, but if you really delve deeper is there nothing that you would want? There always is, and it is a good thing, because if there was nothing to look forward to you may as well be a vegetable. A vegetable just is, it does not know its fate and does not care, you can slice it, boil it or sauté it.
It is good to have desires and goals, but they should never be a pre requisite to happiness. Happiness is something on the inside and one should not wait for it to come based on a fulfillment of a desire/need/want. Be happy today, live your life today, who knows if tomorrow exists!!!!!!
Do not wait for “ The Last holiday.” “ Live every day as if it is your last, because some day it just will be.”

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